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Maybe you missed it all together.
Or you weren’t in the mood. Not “feeling” it.
Perhaps the timing felt “off”.
Whatever the reason or excuse for not jumping at the chance the first time, sometimes there’s an opportunity for a do-over.
Take the Mulligan.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
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When the sun has set we must conclude that there is more that joins us together than separates us.
Surely if we survey each other, we’ll find out that most everyone on this planet wants three basic things
Everything else falls in between these.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
You were created for greatness. And whether your Mama or teachers or friends or lovers ever told you this before today, hear it now: You were created for greatness.
No matter your struggles or challenges, there is an undeniable spirit of love that surrounds you. You were created by love for love. But before you get all mushy, remember that love is fickle.
On any given day that love is palpable and honest and pure. It builds things up; it is kind and gentle, sweet and gooey. On other days it’s aloof and distant, as far from here as Timbuktu — unless of course you live in or around Timbuktu.
Somewhere, out there, on this not so vast planet, something or someone is wanting to connect with you. To make great magic happen.
It may take a lifetime of seeking and searching for you to find it and it to find you. But know that you have been divinely ordained to do the impossible and improbable. Yup, you. It’s like you’ve been given a customized gift, etched with your initials, that cannot be returned — even with a receipt.
And when the day comes, where you plug in and make the connection, you will say: Ah, yes. This is the thing. This is the one. This is my path. To my greatness.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
A bit of chocolate goes a long way. A nice hug lasts longer…
Life happens, right? We live in a world that hands us our share of bumps and bruises. How we handle what happens to us is THE only choice we get.
See the situation for what it is.
There are big shit problems and little shit problems.
For the little ones, ask yourself if you’re making mountains out of molehills. Is there something you can do to change the situation? To make it better or eliminate it?
Plenty of things set people off. Instead of over-reacting count to ten like mother taught you. Get real. Fix it. Make it right. From a parking ticket to a spat with a friend, clear it up, if possible.
Big shit problems won’t go away overnight, of course. When you’re facing the fire it’s hard to imagine you’ll walk through it unscathed. You might. You might not. But you will come out the other side, eventually.
Tackle the problem bit by bit
“When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” – Creighton Abrams
Same for whatever size dung’s been plopped on your doorstep. Trying to consume it all at once isn’t brave. It’s dumb. You will choke — and die, according to my mother who always added “and die” to everything.
Reflect on previous wins
Think back to the times you faced adversities and survived. You’ve done well handling yourself and your problems all of your life. You did it then. You can do it again.
Putting on a brave front when your world is closing in is a common tactic. It’s the alternative to running down the street naked and screaming at everybody. The people closest to you know the mask you’re wearing isn’t your normal one. And you’re lucky to have those people around. Luckier still when they don’t judge but instead reach out and hug you. And double points if the hug is followed up with chocolate cake.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Love at first sight seems like the opening act of a romantic comedy movie. I suppose it happens in real life. Didn’t go that way for me, but maybe it did for you.
The first time I saw my love — we were about twelve years old — I wanted to run in fear. He’d just blown up a bullfrog in a window well by shoving fireworks down its throat. Later, while my cousins and I posed in our new two-piece swimsuits, he photobombed us. Nothing says romance like a stuck out tongue and devil horns forever preserved on an Instamatic photograph. Then he chased us around the yard spraying us with a garden hose.
My second look was in high school when he swallowed live goldfish at a party. I took notice. Four medium fish in under a minute. Impressive.
The third look sent me over the Moon. As we walked to the gym together, and just before I agreed to go out with him, a track teammate ran by and whipped down my future husband’s gym shorts to the cheers of several onlookers, including the principal’s secretary.
Eventually my love stopped blowing up frogs and bought a decent belt, but he still gets a thrill from blowing shit up. I chalk it up to a guy thing.
But the thought of love at first sight isn’t just for tender young hearts.
Who hasn’t fallen, and fallen HARD, for a shiny red Mustang convertible? An heirloom diamond ring with the perfect setting? A two-story shingled house with an ocean view?
Time, and a strong second look, always brings us back to reality. The dent in the rear quarter. The flaw in the stone. The crumbling foundation.
It’s easy to fall in love when our eyes are blinded by the initial rush of want. The impulse to say ‘yes’ without due scrutiny often leads to disappointment or worse, regret. When newness fades and the sheen and sparkle becomes dull and cloudy, we question our decisions. Again.
Maybe the problem isn’t with the first attraction but the willingness to stick with the choice and go the distance AFTER the shiny thing fades.
Fix the dent and enjoy the car as she was meant to be. A flaw in an heirloom is a grandmother’s history. With attention (and a boatload of cash) even a shaky foundation can be fixed but the location cannot.
It’s not necessary to compromise or set lower standards; a point I considered on several occasions before dating then marrying, the Frog Murderer.
Sometimes it’s best to use that second (or third) look to save yourself from aggravation, pain and financial ruin. Other times, it takes a second or third look to appreciate the potential of the gem you missed on the first go around.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote: Unknown Author
We get to hand pick the people to let into our super-selective circle.
Who do you let in? A person who helps, supports, and guides you is a cherished gift — that person belongs inside your circle. S/he will hold your hair back while you heave over the toilet bowl after a very long night (okay, college days remembered or a really stupid adult night — sadly, done both).
We DO eventually grow up — somewhat.
As a grown-up, a person deserving of your circle DOES NOT need to be summoned to take your hand while you hear a rotten diagnosis. She’s already there. She bakes a cake and hands you the other fork and you both swear not to tell a soul. She breaks out into riotous laughter that makes you both pee your pants, and then you laugh some more. It’s easy and natural and oh so juvenile, but perfect.
Somehow these people just KNOW when you need a cheer-me-up. An extra pair of hands to hold a ladder. Or advice on making funeral arrangements for your dad. They bring flowers or wine or chocolate for no reason and call just to say “hello”, I miss your company.
Any material offers are given generously without her ever keeping a secret score card to shove back in your face. Because she owns a pure and kind heart and wouldn’t harm a flea on the back hairs of a dog. And for the record, NOT ONCE has her integrity been in question because she demonstrates her loyalty and love to you over and OVER again. Consistent. Reliable. Solid as rock.
Even when you (Me) have been a bit of a shit.
The people we let into our tight circle want for us exactly what we want for ourselves, even when we don’t know it. They are the few, the select, the inner circle. They are gold.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865) inspired the nation with his Gettysburg Address and helped to bring about the abolishment of slavery.
Nelson Mandela (1918 – 2013) campaigned for justice and freedom in his native South Africa. He spent 20 years in jail for his opposition to apartheid. On his release he healed the wounds of apartheid by his magnanimous attitude to his former political enemies.
Marie Curie (1867 – 1934) awarded a Nobel Prize for both Chemistry and Physics. Her discoveries with radiation helped advance medical science. Also, her achievements were even more remarkable at a time when few women gained education.
Martin Luther King (1929 – 1968) the most influential leader of the non-violent civil rights movement, inspired millions of people, black and white, to aspire for a more equal society.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519) – One of the greatest minds in human history. It is wildly believed that da Vinci was centuries ahead of scientific discovery. He furthered advancement in anatomy, astronomy, physics, science and the arts.
Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) – Lived a life of poverty to try to improve the conditions of others. Her devotion and compassion inspired the lives of many people.
Jane Goodall (1934 – ) – Made ground-breaking study into the behavior of chimpanzees. Goodall became a noted campaigner and activist for environmental protection and kindness to animals.
Mozart – A musical genius whose talents give joy to millions of people.
Rumi – Sufi poet. His mystical poetry continues its universal appeal.
Steve Jobs – Charismatic founder of Apple. Helped create new standards of design in technology.
These famous people changed the world at their time of life, and their legacy lives on.
We need not be political or social heroes, gifted in the arts and sciences, or spiritual leaders to leave behind an enduring legacy.
The thing about personal legacies is often we don’t know we’ve left one. Good or bad.
A kind gesture, an encouraging word, a thoughtful gift; human exchanges we encounter throughout our lives make us want to be better people. Conversely, a person who is angry, cheats, lies, proves irresponsible again and again, any kind of destructive behavior…leaves us feeling something else altogether. Both are memorable legacies.
I vote for kind and gentle legacies.
The father who watches his daughter change a tire under his direction teaches her self-sufficiency.
The mother who rehearses “the first dance” with her son demonstrates the importance of tenderness and romance.
A coach who plays everyone on the bench defines what it means to be a player on his team.
The boss who encourages employees understands they are the future of the organization.
The middle-school math teacher who stays after school to tutor a struggling child and just maybe, huh? discovers the child’s obsession with taking pictures of animals. That child learns to believe that he possesses special talents and gifts (okay, not Algebra!), and goes on to a successful career as a National Geographic photographer.
These simple moments, however fleeting and benign, have the ability to leave a positive mark and endure a lifetime and beyond. Sometimes a legacy is just being the right person in the right place at the right time to change or alter or turn someone’s life in new or better direction. For this, you will be remembered as THE person who influenced a life.
Many of the people in our lives exit this world without awards and ribbons. Yet their names more indelible than if they were etched in stone across some alumni building. We fondly remember the ones who left their great legacy on us — parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, mentors, etc. — for their humanity and spirit. Side note: Those of us with parents or grandparents who emigrated to the United States at great personal sacrifice, we owe a debt of gratitude. We must tell and record their stories for the next generation. With any luck, the histories and legacies we tell bare some semblance to the truth!
Part of my writing journey is expressly for my children. Ideas and ideals that were passed to me from people way smarter and wiser than I’ll ever be. The legacy we leave need not be worthy of a statue in our honor or biographical documentary. By doing our best job to not f-k up in this world is a good enough legacy. But to be a regular person who can be an extraordinary influence on our small personal tribe is more than good enough.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic & quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
When you can’t find the right words, these lyrics by Rascal Flatts are perfect.
I wish this for my mate.
I wish this for my children.
I wish this for my closest friends, and by connection, their friends.
I wish this for my colleagues.
I wish this for all the creative people.
I wish this for all the dreamers and thinkers and doers.
I wish this for you.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote/Lyrics: Rascal Flatts
Today, if you see someone beautiful, say something.
I’m not talking about gorgeous women (and men) on magazine covers who may or may not have been generously (airbrushed) blessed with flawless skin and thick eyelashes; desirable tall frames in barely there bikinis with stick-like legs that go on for days. No doubt these freaks of nature exist. Bless them…
I’m talking about TRULY BEAUTIFUL people. The real, inner beauty that once seen for its value should take our breaths away, more than a mock-up version of commercial beauty.
To the harried young mother juggling two babies and a cartload of groceries, wondering if she’ll ever fit in her “regular” clothes again — you are beautiful.
To the elderly man who holds the hand of his struggling wife — you are beautiful.
To the countless volunteers who give their time and energy to causes near and dear to the their hearts — you are beautiful.
To the men and women who put their lives in front of the public to keep us safe and secure — you are beautiful.
To the people who are lost and wandering, we pray your path is illuminated with trust and direction — you are beautiful.
To the ill and the dying, even when your body is struggling to heal or deciding it’s time to take the journey home — you are beautiful.
To the nurturers and caregivers, with their compassion and unselfish dedication to making another person’s life more comfortable — you are beautiful.
To the unsung workers who sweat in the brutal heat and bitter cold to make our public spaces safe and enjoyable — you are beautiful.
To the children who share their innocence and make us laugh — you are beautiful.
To the readers of this page who grant me your time, and the latitude and freedom to share my rants and thoughts — you are beautiful.
P.S. These are the people I encountered today. Who are the beautiful people you encountered today? Please add to the list and post if you like.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Today I am painfully aware of how fast time is passing by. Caught somewhere between yesterday and its memories, today’s check and balance of reality (it’s trash pick-up day), and the future which I can not begin to imagine or predict with any certainty.
I love this paraphrased quotation for its smack of truth as it relates to our existence on this planet. Our past, present and future collide in this moment. That’s what we have. This moment. Nothing more.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Copyright 2012-2016 Stephanie DelTorchio All rights reserved.
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