Power Archives - Stephanie DelTorchio

Be Aggressively Hopeful

Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow. Albert Einstein/befat.net/positive quotes

The lowest point in my husband’s cancer diagnosis is what we called “the double handshake”.

It’s when someone you’ve just met stands in front of you, shakes your hand and says, “good luck” and then places their other hand on top and says, “God bless”.

Everything that happened the day or week or year before didn’t seem to matter.

We were living in the today moment for sure. And it didn’t feel very good at all.

Thoughts of tomorrow felt out of reach, a pipe dream.

But very quickly you rely on the lessons and experiences of yesterday. You put on your big boy/girl pants. Make a decision to live in the present moment and deal with that, however ugly and scary it looks. Then wag a finger in the air and shout “fuck you!” and fight like hell for the hope of tomorrow.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Don’t Do A Good Job

Don't Do A Good Job/Do today what others won't do so tomorrow you can do what others can't/befat.net/Stephanie DelTorchio/empowering quote

People who do a “good job” are generally nice people who tried really hard. In the meantime a mother driving her kids to soccer just lost a tire on the highway. “No problem, Ralph, no one got hurt; you’ll get it right next time.”

Today at just about every turn we tell our kids “good job”, then hand them a participation trophy and head for the drive-through. We miss the opportunity to encourage them to try harder to do better.

Don’t lecture me on tender egos or breaking spirits. That’s bullshit. Our job is to let our children know that with practice and time and maturity and experience and trial and error and incremental successes they will surpass where they are right now. They are too young to amaze themselves. Too new to understand their ability to soar beyond their wildest dreams.

“Good job” is the bar we’ve set. It represents adequate, average or mediocre. Not excellence or mastery. Are we okay with this?

I’m not sure about you but I don’t want to hire an average plumber to fix my exploding toilet. Or trust my body to a mediocre brain surgeon. Even if he’s accumulated a closet full of trophies for his adult soccer league.

Listen, I’m fine with generic brown rice, no-name cotton balls and house brand potato chips. Plain, no frills toilet paper does the trick for me, although my husband prefers triple-ply baby soft Charmin. A story for another day, but probably the reason we have so many plumbing incidents.

We don’t want to buy goods or hire services that are just good enough. The inference being that there is something better out there so why settle for less than. Think about the commercial for GAS STATION SUSHI. Bad. Really bad.

For those who work harder to rise above the average, we are willing to pay more to get more. Fresh fish expertly prepared by a Sushi Master. Good. Very good.

In this scene clip from the award-winning movie, WHIPLASH, a dejected music professor extols his belief on the use of the words “good job”.

Don’t just do a good job.

Be better than average. Be extraordinary. Be excellent.

You’ll keep us from running to the toilet to use inadequate toilet paper because we accepted the “good job” from the gas station attendant who prepared our sushi.

Become the best plumber in the village. You’ll command top dollar. And we’ll gladly pay you to fix our exploding toilets.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Aug 04 2016

Don’t wish away another day

Before you wish away another day | birthday quote | befat.net | finding the awesome in every day

Before you make a wish for something frivolous or outrageous think about the consequences of what you’re willing to give up or give away SHOULD your wish come true.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Disney’s advice for winning

Winning vs Losing | Walt Disney quote on winning | befat.net | #befat.net | finding the awesome in every day

Those who don’t START never have a chance to lose or win. They play it safe. Content to follow the masses.

LOSERS aka QUITTERS may be so close to finishing (and winning) but get tripped up or cave under defeat. When the road divides or another mountain appears beyond the one they just scaled, they say things like:

“I tried and failed.”

“It’s over.”

“I stink at this.”

“Somebody beat me to it.”

“Throwing in the towel on this one.”

WINNERS aren’t afraid to make mistakes.

They learn from it.

They change course.

Look for alternatives.

New solutions.

Another partner.

Better resources.

WINNERS tend to fail a lot. And failure is the fuel that propels them to keep kicking ass.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Time for you to change?

Change quote| Inspiring quote | befat.net | #befat | finding the awesome in every day

You might be surprised to learn that you have more aptitude and abilities than you know.

We hold on to this limiting belief that every body is better than us. They had it is easier growing up, an unfair advantage, therefore they got what we didn’t. Bull.

All we need is to shift our mindset and believe that if we take action things can and will change. Being lazy or feeling stuck or having fears are speed bumps and caution signs we create to keep us from having to change.

For the brave and curious change is exactly what we must do. To put yourself in a position to be the person or do the thing that makes you unique.

But I’m stuck HERE. Set in my ways. With my bumper stickers. Nope. Not buying it.

Everyone has it within them to change. Even you.

Lose the bad habits.

Bad attitudes.

Bad associations.

Doing so frees up the space to allow real growth and change to happen.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Don’t blink

This moment could become the best part of your story…

And the reason is because you get to choose what you will do. You get to make all the decisions.

This is how it went for me:

During the summer the neighborhood kids would choose sides to play sandlot baseball (or some other game) in the city park. There were two captains — the popular, strongest, most athletic, BOY — and the line-up of the rest.

You sort of knew your rank before the captains started to pick the best players.

The fat kid. Slow kid. Four-eyed geek guaranteed to whiff. The GIRL…we knew we’d be chosen near the end. You could hear the groans of the captains and their near full roster when the fat kid and me parted ways to opposing teams.

“See you on the bench,” he said.

Lucky to be on any team and never a chance of ever being captain.

As an adult you don’t need to wait to be picked in order to become captain. Whether you become a team of one or a team of many, it’s your vision that becomes the driving creative force. You get to pick the players and create your own team.

Many people are comfortable being “players” because then you don’t need to make any choices or decisions. You follow the captain’s orders. Get a hit or draw a walk — just get on base to advance the vision of the captain. Do that and you’re a player. Do that and you won’t warm the bench.

It’s seducing to watch the captains we admire excel at the thing we want to do. It’s also safe, and boring, okay if your goal isn’t to become a captain some day.

But you don’t want to be a bench warmer or a player.

So, when the inkling of opportunity presents itself, that is the moment to put on your courageous jersey. Decide to choose yourself as captain. Then you get to pick your teammates and call the plays.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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3 Ways Through Time and Space

Time Space | Sontag quote | befat.net

If you are living and breathing, the Universe will deliver crap on your doorstep. It’s a fact.

She’s kind and gentle enough to only plop as much as we (think we) can handle. Although the argument over fairness of the distribution is valid, alas, we have no say in the matter. It will happen. It will happen to you.

Crap ships and delivers in three ways: Instant, Express or Snail.

Instant

The sudden feeling of having the proverbial rug pulled out from under us. No warning. No head’s up. We didn’t order this crap. And we don’t want it.

Express

The steady motion of falling down, down, down. We’re trapped; burrowed deep in a ravine, towering jagged cliffs on either side. There’s no easy way out. If that weren’t bad enough, as we attempt to scratch and claw our way to daylight, we look up to see a huge gray mass being hurled over the edge. It’s airborne. A big ball of shit. Screaming down. Headed right for us.

Snail

This is the long time coming knock at the door at 2 a.m. Maybe there were signs we missed, a few warnings we brushed away, or worse, knew, but chose to ignore them. And when the knock finally comes, it’s faint. Unsure it’s come to the right place. But we know it has found its rightful owner.

We joke that “it all rolls down hill,” right? But once you’re on the receiving end, you’re knocked over and sucked in. Before you can catch your breath, you’re rolling with it (and not in a good way), unable to make it stop.

You’re the unwilling guest along for the bumpy ride, collecting more crap as you continue the decline. And the ride isn’t ever smooth like some kiddie cruise boat on a fixed circular path. Nope. You bang and crash into things, helter-skelter, until there is nothing left in your path. It finally stops with you in a heap, twisted, beaten and scraped all over. But alive. And breathing.

All we can say for sure, is that we’ve had the stuffing knocked out of us. Then inched our way back from the dark trenches and survived. Again.

In the meantime The Universe shows her true kindness by giving us the time needed to heal, accept and learn. She takes sweet mercy on us and invokes the law of compensation by delivering crap to somebody else.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote: Susan Sontag

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Astound Yourself

Astound Yourself | positive quote | befat.net

It’s freakin’ scary what each one of us is able to do when we try. Don’t let your greatest asset (YOU) pass you by.

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Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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If It Brings You Joy, Catch Your Breath and Do It Again

Do things that bring you JOY | inspirational quote | befat.net

What is it you do that when you are doing it you look up at the clock and can’t believe all the time that has passed? Yeah. Do more of THAT.

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Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Always Look Again

Look Again Quote | befat.net

The first time we attempt to do something new takes courage. Being out of our comfort zone triggers all the internal the bells and whistles to go off. We face self-doubt. Reservations. Second thoughts.

“I’d turn back if I were you,” was the message writtenn in BOLD letters on the front door entrance to the Land of Oz. But Dorothy (and her fellow seekers) were not deterred; they knocked again. They persisted.

Knock again. Persist. Try again.

Look again. Always look again.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original Graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Quote: Maryanne Rochmacher