Life Lesson Archives - Be F-g Awesome Today! #BeF.A.T.

Ride the Wave

May 26 2016

Positive graphic |befat.net

Am I the only one with recurring dreams?

I have had the same dream for several months. I’m walking the beach I love and stop at the shoreline to admire the view. A large wave begins to swell and build far off shore. I know this is no ordinary wave and its impact will crush and kill me. When I try to run my feet won’t move. They’re buried deep in the sand. I can’t even wiggle my toes.

In super slow motion the wave grows several stories high (it’s a dream, ok?). I look up to a Biblical wall of water; the top is beyond my sight. My breathing becomes rapid and heavy until no air goes in or comes out. Any last attempt to flee is moot. The wave leans forward, curling over the open sky, inches from my face. I wake up in a panic. Trembling. Clammy. Panting. But alive and safe in my bed.

Why does this keep happening? I’ll spare my long self-analyzing reasoning but there’s been major changes in my life that require a shift in unfamiliar directions. It’s no wonder I feel crashed on and consumed.

I saw a version of this quote (source unknown to me – please, tell me if you know). The meaning of the message has allowed me to breathe a bit easier during the day.

Now when I go to sleep I’m prepared for the dream.

I walk the beach that I love and stop at the water’s edge to admire the view. I’m wearing a wet suit and carrying a longboard. The same wave begins to swell offshore. As it rolls to shore I can’t say that I’m not nervous — I am. But I know the wave can’t take me out because I’ve learned to surf.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Are You In The Right Story?

May 19 2016

Once Upon A Time you started a book and feel kinda committed to finishing it…

Maybe you took a chance on a new genre, got a recommendation from a friend, found it on the sale rack. After the first few chapters you know it’s not for you.

It lacks character development.

It’s BORING!

It’s stuck in a time or place you’d like to forget.

It’s too racy or

too “groovy”

or TOO. DAMN. CHALLENGING.

There’s no romance.

Or worse…PSYCHOTIC romance — the clinging, needy, I can’t live with you/without you kind.

There’s no adventure.

It’s too dramatic.

It’s a mystery!

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, close the book. There are too many options out there to settle on a story that is bound to end unhappily ever after.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Write your movie ending

May 17 2016

your entire life is your story. befat.net

Since writers dream up stories — characters, obstacles, time period, location — we constantly get to change the world we create until the ending is perfect for the story. In screenwriting (my aspiration) it’s said that the best movies have three kinds of endings.

I suppose you could use these ending suggestions to craft your life story.

Positive. This is a general, totally acceptable, vanilla nice, end of the story. You walk away feeling good and happy. The movie was worth your time and money.

Surprise. A surprise ending is more than good. You walk away feeling satisfied; that the experience was beyond your expectations, too. It’s the ending when you say, “Hmm, didn’t expect that but it was really interesting and cool.”

Meaningful. A story ending that is beyond great. Movies like this change minds, cross cultures and influence the future. This kind of ending is the one where you walk out of the theater and talk about it for days, weeks, months and years later. You are left with an experience that resonates on multiple levels and has a lasting influence. These are the stories we want to see over and over.

Our lives are mini-movies of our own creation. We don’t start our story but we surely can write the ending.

Will you write a positive, surprise or meaningful ending to your story?

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

SIGN UP to receive these posts via EMAIL

Mountains vs Molehills

May 14 2016

molehills

“Don’t make mountains out of molehills,” my grandpa said to us kids.

The idiom of course is a metaphor for the common behavior of responding disproportionately to something — we worried the cops were going to send grandpa to prison for taking a handful of blackberries from a neighbor’s yard.

My friends and I discussed mountains and molehills further at the playground while sharing the candy we’d purchased with grandpa’s hush money.

I’d visited the White Mountains in New Hampshire; huge mounds rising out of the earth that seemed to touch the big blue sky. Back in the ‘hood I don’t recall any molehills bigger than a snow cone. To me, it would take a really long time and serious climate shifting for that little molehill to get as big as even the tiniest mountain.

As a kid your experience is limited, and so is your perspective.

Older wiser adults should know better than to create big trouble over a minor issue. Eventually kids figure out that a molehill will never become a mountain as long as grandpa has change in his pocket.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

SIGN UP to receive these posts via EMAIL

Original graphic: avatel.wordpress.com

The Good Fight

May 13 2016

Self-love quote graphic/befat.net

So you’ve fought the good fight.

For you the road from there to here wasn’t always easy. Or straight. Or marked with clear understandable signs. Maybe the road you’ve traveled to get to where you stand now, sucked. Big time.

Or the beginning was just okay. Average. No major tragedies, but not the supportive or loving surroundings you craved. You were a kid. No matter what happened then, you weren’t necessarily in charge of that leg of the journey. Bigger smarter adults drove the bus and you were cool going along for the ride because you were a kid — not much leverage, right?

Then you grew up. Joined the big leagues. Made your own choices.

You lived and (figuratively) died by the times you said “YES” when maybe the best answer was “No, thank you.”

“Yes, I’ll have another drink.”

“Yes, I’ll date you/marry you.”

“Yes, I’ll take this job.”

“Yes, I’ll lend you money.”

“Yes, of course I trust you.”

Conversely, what about all the times you said “NOPE” (too quickly) when saying “yes” may have made things…easier? Nicer? Better? Less freaking complicated! Ah, hindsight.

After all the shit we put ourselves through, it’s a wonder that we’re still standing.

Let’s sum up: You made some good choices and…not-so-good ones.

Okay, so you fucked up plenty of times. But utilizing basic survival tactics — pigheadedness, drive, curiosity, focus, determination, willpower, sacrifice, fear, etc. — you are still here. Pretty cool when you look back, right?

It’s a long slog to get from being a dependent child to a functioning mature adult. And it ain’t always pretty. Take a breath, relax and reflect on how far you’ve come.

Love yourself for fighting the good fight. You’re here now. Carry on. No looking back.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

SIGN UP to receive these posts via EMAIL

It Depends On Your Perspective

May 12 2016

befat.net

Your perspective is the way you see something.

If you think dandelions are weeds, then from your perspective dandelions are the bane of your beautiful lawn. This is most adults.

If you think dandelions are wishes, then from your perspective dandelions are endless possibilities all around you. This is most children.

Today, be more childlike in your thinking. You just might get your wish!

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

SIGN UP to receive these posts via EMAIL

Grow Into Your Potential

May 06 2016

befat.net. Inspirational Quote Graphic

I’ve heard this excuse MANY TIMES lately. I have said this MANY TIMES myself. I’m too old to start this shit…I should have started ten years ago, twenty years ago…It’s too late for me…I’m competing with people half my age. That’s BUNK.

History is full of LATE bloomers and second act achievers.

Every day we let pass by puts our journey a day behind. We miss yet another chance to fulfill our potential. And, by the way, while you’re hanging around feeling like it’s too late for you, you’re another day older.

Your tree isn’t going to grow until you plant the seed.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Leave A Personal Legacy

May 05 2016

befat.net

Famous people with famous legacies

Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865) inspired the nation with his Gettysburg Address and helped to bring about the abolishment of slavery.

Nelson Mandela (1918 – 2013) campaigned for justice and freedom in his native South Africa. He spent 20 years in jail for his opposition to apartheid. On his release he healed the wounds of apartheid by his magnanimous attitude to his former political enemies.

Marie Curie (1867 – 1934) awarded a Nobel Prize for both Chemistry and Physics. Her discoveries with radiation helped advance medical science. Also, her achievements were even more remarkable at a time when few women gained education.

Martin Luther King (1929 – 1968) the most influential leader of the non-violent civil rights movement, inspired millions of people, black and white, to aspire for a more equal society.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519) – One of the greatest minds in human history. It is wildly believed that da Vinci was centuries ahead of scientific discovery. He furthered advancement in anatomy, astronomy, physics, science and the arts.

Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) – Lived a life of poverty to try to improve the conditions of others. Her devotion and compassion inspired the lives of many people.

Jane Goodall (1934 – ) – Made ground-breaking study into the behavior of chimpanzees. Goodall became a noted campaigner and activist for environmental protection and kindness to animals.

Mozart – A musical genius whose talents give joy to millions of people.

Rumi – Sufi poet. His mystical poetry continues its universal appeal.

Steve Jobs – Charismatic founder of Apple. Helped create new standards of design in technology.

These famous people changed the world at their time of life, and their legacy lives on.

We need not be political or social heroes, gifted in the arts and sciences, or spiritual leaders to leave behind an enduring legacy.

The thing about personal legacies is often we don’t know we’ve left one. Good or bad.

A kind gesture, an encouraging word, a thoughtful gift; human exchanges we encounter throughout our lives make us want to be better people. Conversely, a person who is angry, cheats, lies, proves irresponsible again and again, any kind of destructive behavior…leaves us feeling something else altogether. Both are memorable legacies.

I vote for kind and gentle legacies.

The father who watches his daughter change a tire under his direction teaches her self-sufficiency.

The mother who rehearses “the first dance” with her son demonstrates the importance of tenderness and romance.

A coach who plays everyone on the bench defines what it means to be a player on his team.

The boss who encourages employees understands they are the future of the organization.

The middle-school math teacher who stays after school to tutor a struggling child and just maybe, huh? discovers the child’s obsession with taking pictures of animals. That child learns to believe that he possesses special talents and gifts (okay, not Algebra!), and goes on to a successful career as a National Geographic photographer.

These simple moments, however fleeting and benign, have the ability to leave a positive mark and endure a lifetime and beyond. Sometimes a legacy is just being the right person in the right place at the right time to change or alter or turn someone’s life in new or better direction. For this, you will be remembered as THE person who influenced a life.

Many of the people in our lives exit this world without awards and ribbons. Yet their names more indelible than if they were etched in stone across some alumni building. We fondly remember the ones who left their great legacy on us — parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, mentors, etc. — for their humanity and spirit. Side note: Those of us with parents or grandparents who emigrated to the United States at great personal sacrifice, we owe a debt of gratitude. We must tell and record their stories for the next generation. With any luck, the histories and legacies we tell bare some semblance to the truth!

Part of my writing journey is expressly for my children. Ideas and ideals that were passed to me from people way smarter and wiser than I’ll ever be. The legacy we leave need not be worthy of a statue in our honor or biographical documentary. By doing our best job to not f-k up in this world is a good enough legacy. But to be a regular person who can be an extraordinary influence on our small personal tribe is more than good enough.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic & quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Plant It Forward

Apr 26 2016

befat.net

The first plants I ever purchased for my home were from a local Ladies Garden Club. Mostly older women, they wore wide brim hats and gloves, all proper Victorian-looking to me.

Each plant, harvested straight from their own gardens, had received years of tender administration which I was too immature a gardener to appreciate. For a few dollars I was handed a wrapped ball of Bleeding Hearts, Hostas and Lady Slippers. The warmth and richness of the soil in my hands lingered as the gardener shared the history behind each plant. The Bleeding Hearts, a wedding gift from her mother-in-law. The shade loving Hostas from a neighbor as a welcome gift. The showy, yellow Lady Slippers taken from the woods along a path that lined a dirt beach pathway.

I felt as if she’d just handed me her babies. My duty going forward was to plant them, care for them, let them grow to be big and strong. Was I worthy of this responsibility?

When I thanked the woman for the plants she admonished me. Apparently there’s an old wives tale about thanking someone for plants — don’t do it. “It’s best to take them and say you’ll give them a good home,” she said. Okay, weird.

Nearly 35 years and two homes later (couldn’t leave without some) these plants make me smile each spring when their new shoots break through the topsoil. It’s funny, but I silently thank those lovely ladies for their stories, then look over my shoulder.

Over the years I’ve received many clippings and root balls from friends and family. I cherish the armful of tangerine Daylilies my Mom brought me from her yard. Hers came from my grandmother who received a pot of them from her sister, my neighbor for several years. After my great-aunt’s passing, a young couple moved into the home. I gifted them with pots of divided Daylilies, their great-great-great grandchildren.

Today my garden overflows with Rosemarie’s pink and purple phlox, Sheila’s red poppies, my Mom’s daylilies and Rose-of-Sharon trees, Leah’s Montauk daisies and Autumn Joy sedum. Every year I take pictures and share as a reminder of our longtime friendships that continue to grow.

I’ve given them a good home and given them away to good homes.

Request: Please share images of plants, trees, or flowers someone has given you that you’ve transplanted in your own space, or plants that you’ve given away.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Your Dream Is Supported

Apr 25 2016

befat.net

I heard Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, say this about dreams.

Dreams being the inklings you get, the “little birdie” messages, your gut feelings, your passion (if you have one), your desires, wants — whatever you call that “thing” you want to do.

It’s a comforting thought to know that whatever we dream about will be supported by the Universe. Your universe includes people you know and people you don’t, those who will be put in your path to support and help your dreams come true.

Not once have I ever dreamed about being an astronaut, a ballet dancer or a deep sea diver. And not once has any person in any of these professions shown up in my life.

However, my dream is to write. Countless people HAVE shown up. For years. Mentors, teachers, accomplished writers, movie producers, screenwriters, other writers slogging (like me) to write and rewrite and rewrite. Other people have given me a quiet place to work, loaned me books, read 120 page drafts of screenplays (brave souls rewarded with wine and dinner).

Logic would tell us that what we focus on and work hard at, attracts like mindedness or “helpers”. You must put the effort in for sure but don’t be afraid to think you will go at your dream alone. You won’t.

Your dream would never enter your thoughts if there wasn’t the law of attraction to line the road with others who will nurture your dream, and your own innate talents to fulfill it.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio