Kindness Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Stephanie DelTorchio google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

Category - Kindness

1
Leave A Personal Legacy
2
My Wish For You
3
You Are Beautiful
4
Plant It Forward
5
Be A Listener Today
6
Be Memorable
7
Be Good People Today
8
Be Choosy With People
9
Of Course You Are
10
You Will Be Just Fine

Leave A Personal Legacy

 

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Famous people with famous legacies

Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865) inspired the nation with his Gettysburg Address and helped to bring about the abolishment of slavery.

Nelson Mandela (1918 – 2013) campaigned for justice and freedom in his native South Africa. He spent 20 years in jail for his opposition to apartheid. On his release he healed the wounds of apartheid by his magnanimous attitude to his former political enemies.

Marie Curie (1867 – 1934) awarded a Nobel Prize for both Chemistry and Physics. Her discoveries with radiation helped advance medical science. Also, her achievements were even more remarkable at a time when few women gained education.

Martin Luther King (1929 – 1968) the most influential leader of the non-violent civil rights movement, inspired millions of people, black and white, to aspire for a more equal society.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452 -– 1519) – One of the greatest minds in human history. It is wildly believed that da Vinci was  centuries ahead of scientific discovery. He furthered advancement in anatomy, astronomy, physics, science and the arts.

Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) – Lived a life of poverty to try to improve the conditions of others. Her devotion and compassion inspired the lives of many people.

Jane Goodall (1934 – ) – Made ground-breaking study into the behavior of chimpanzees. Goodall became a noted campaigner and activist for environmental protection and kindness to animals.

Mozart – A musical genius whose talents give joy to millions of people.

Rumi – Sufi poet. His mystical poetry continues its universal appeal.

Steve Jobs – Charismatic founder of Apple. Helped create new standards of design in technology.

These famous people changed the world at their time of life, and their legacy lives on.

We need not be political or social heroes, gifted in the arts and sciences, or spiritual leaders to leave behind an enduring legacy.

The thing about personal legacies is often we don’t know we’ve left one. Good or bad.

A kind gesture, an encouraging word, a thoughtful gift; human exchanges we encounter throughout our lives make us want to be better people. Conversely, a person who is angry, cheats, lies, proves irresponsible again and again, any kind of destructive behavior…leaves us feeling something else altogether. Both are memorable legacies.

I vote for kind and gentle legacies.

The father who watches his daughter change a tire under his direction teaches her self-sufficiency.

The mother who rehearses “the first dance” with her son demonstrates the importance of tenderness and romance.

A coach who plays everyone on the bench defines what it means to be a player on his team.

The boss who encourages employees understands they are the future of the organization.

The middle-school math teacher who stays after school to tutor a struggling child and just maybe, huh? discovers the child’s obsession with taking pictures of animals. That child learns to believe that he possesses special talents and gifts (okay, not Algebra!), and goes on to a successful career as a National Geographic photographer.

These simple moments, however fleeting and benign, have the ability to leave a positive mark and endure a lifetime and beyond. Sometimes a legacy is just being the right person in the right place at the right time to change or alter or turn someone’s life in new or better direction. For this, you will be remembered as THE person who influenced a life.

Many of the people in our lives exit this world without awards and ribbons. Yet their names more indelible than if they were etched in stone across some alumni building. We fondly remember the ones who left their great legacy on us — parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, mentors, etc. — for their humanity and spirit. Side note: Those of us with parents or grandparents who emigrated to the United States at great personal sacrifice, we owe a debt of gratitude. We must tell and record their stories for the next generation. With any luck, the histories and legacies we tell bare some semblance to the truth!

Part of my writing journey is expressly for my children. Ideas and ideals that were passed to me from people way smarter and wiser than I’ll ever be. The legacy we leave need not be worthy of a statue in our honor or biographical documentary. By doing our best job to not f-k up in this world is a good enough legacy. But to be a regular person who can be an extraordinary influence on our small personal tribe is more than good enough.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic & quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

 

My Wish For You

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When you can’t find the right words, these lyrics by Rascal Flatts are perfect.

I wish this for my mate.

I wish this for my children.

I wish this for my closest friends, and by connection, their friends.

I wish this for my colleagues.

I wish this for all the creative people.

I wish this for all the dreamers and thinkers and doers.

I wish this for you.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote/Lyrics: Rascal Flatts

You Are Beautiful

 

If you see someone beautiful say something

Today, if you see someone beautiful, say something.

I’m not talking about gorgeous women (and men) on magazine covers who may or may not have been generously (airbrushed) blessed with flawless skin and thick eyelashes; desirable tall frames in barely there bikinis with stick-like legs that go on for days.  No doubt these freaks of nature exist. Bless them…

I’m talking about TRULY BEAUTIFUL people. The real, inner beauty that once seen for its value should take our breaths away, more than a mock-up version of commercial beauty.

To the harried young mother juggling two babies and a cartload of groceries, wondering if she’ll ever fit in her “regular” clothes again — you are beautiful.

To the elderly man who holds the hand of his struggling wife — you are beautiful.

To the countless volunteers who give their time and energy to causes near and dear to the their hearts — you are beautiful.

To the men and women who put their lives in front of the public to keep us safe and secure — you are beautiful.

To the people who are lost and wandering, we pray your path is illuminated with trust and direction — you are beautiful.

To the ill and the dying, even when your body is struggling to heal or deciding it’s time to take the journey home — you are beautiful.

To the nurturers and caregivers, with their compassion and unselfish dedication to making another person’s life more comfortable — you are beautiful.

To the unsung workers who sweat in the brutal heat and bitter cold to make our public spaces safe and enjoyable — you are beautiful.

To the children who share their innocence and make us laugh — you are beautiful.

To the readers of this page who grant me your time, and the latitude and freedom to share my rants and thoughts — you are beautiful.

P.S.  These are the people I encountered today. Who are the beautiful people you encountered today? Please add to the list and post if you like.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Plant It Forward

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The first plants I ever purchased for my home were from a local Ladies Garden Club. Mostly older women, they wore wide brim hats and gloves, all proper Victorian-looking to me.

Each plant, harvested straight from their own gardens, had received years of tender administration which I was too immature a gardener to appreciate. For a few dollars I was handed a wrapped ball of Bleeding Hearts, Hostas and Lady Slippers. The warmth and richness of the soil in my hands lingered as the gardener shared the history behind each plant. The Bleeding Hearts, a wedding gift from her mother-in-law. The shade loving Hostas from a neighbor as a welcome gift. The showy, yellow Lady Slippers taken from the woods along a path that lined a dirt beach pathway.

I felt as if she’d just handed me her babies. My duty going forward was to plant them, care for them, let them grow to be big and strong. Was I worthy of this responsibility?

When I thanked the woman for the plants she admonished me. Apparently there’s an old wives tale about thanking someone for plants — don’t do it.  “It’s best to take them and say you’ll give them a good home,” she said. Okay, weird.

Nearly 35 years and two homes later (couldn’t leave without some) these plants make me smile each spring when their new shoots break through the topsoil. It’s funny, but I silently thank those lovely ladies for their stories, then look over my shoulder.

Over the years I’ve received many clippings and root balls from friends and family. I cherish the armful of tangerine Daylilies my Mom brought me from her yard. Hers came from my grandmother who received a pot of them from her sister, my neighbor for several years. After my great-aunt’s passing, a young couple moved into the home. I gifted them with pots of divided Daylilies, their great-great-great grandchildren.

Today my garden overflows with Rosemarie’s pink and purple phlox, Sheila’s red poppies, my Mom’s daylilies and Rose-of-Sharon trees, Leah’s Montauk daisies and Autumn Joy sedum. Every year I take pictures and share as a reminder of our longtime friendships that continue to grow.

I’ve given them a good home and given them away to good homes.

Request: Please share images of plants, trees, or flowers someone has given you that you’ve transplanted in your own space, or plants that you’ve given away.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be A Listener Today

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I love obscure words and this one got my attention.

Anyone who grew up in a large family or meets up for drinks with a gaggle of women (or men, of course) can probably relate. Talking over each other when there’s a group of people all vying for control of the floor results in nobody being heard.

My family once hosted a pair of lovely, smart, twentyish German brothers for a few weeks. They spoke excellent English but wanted to improve — mostly to learn slang! One thing we noticed was how attentive they were when anyone spoke. At the dinner table they listened intently, engaged in the conversation and contributed after the speaker had finished. As a mother, I complimented their mother for having raised polite sons.

On the other hand my nature was to babble over the speaker. Although I was aware of the rudeness, it continued. Not because I don’t care about the people speaking (I do!) but I get so excited by what someone is saying that I plan my response while they are at the tail end of their conversation. Bad habit.

Our German guests concluded that we (in Boston) speak so fast and on top of each other that it sounds like the kitchen staff of a Chinese restaurant on New Year’s Eve: Fast, rushed, loud. For the record, we frequented a local pizza shop where the owners yelled orders at and over each other, and back to customers. It seemed part of the entertainment. But because we’d often received the wrong order, it was clear that among all the noise nobody was really listening to each other.

And this is why the “talking stick” was invented. One at a time, people. One at a time. Listen and be heard.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be Memorable

befat.net Be Memorable

For good or bad people form opinions about us. You can’t really change that. Or can you?

I had the pleasure of sharing a lovely afternoon with some dear former colleagues. A woman sitting next to me remembered several things that I’d said to her many, many years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with cancer.

Truthfully my recollection was rather weak, but hers, extremely sharp. She went on to say that when cancer struck her own family, my words came back to her. “This (disease) is bigger than us,” she recalled me saying in a calm voice.

Okay, if my memory serves me correct, I probably had accepted the facts laid out by the medical experts. Inside I felt a bit out of control, overwhelmed, fearful, confused, angry — but not calm! Apparently in my rather numb state I projected a air of Zen.

But to her these (forgotten) words, spoken in a controlled and rational voice not only comforted her but gave her much needed hope, she said. Who knew, right?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the late great American poet, memoirist and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

Today I’m humbled that what I’d said many years ago stayed with my friend when the dark clouds rolled over her family. Knowing a brief random chat later on became (one of many other) sources of comfort and hope (her words) for her and her family is awesome. People who’d been through similar experiences provided her strength and courage to carry on. All because of a few words, dug out of her memory when she needed them most.

When we walk away from conversations, casual run-ins, marriages, careers, families, jobs, or friends, we may never know how we made that person “feel”, but they will remember. Good, or bad.

As nice as it was to hear how my words made her feel, it’s more important to me that whether I knew it or not, on that day, our family’s story of survival helped her take on a horrible situation and handle it well. In love. With faith. And hope.

And isn’t that why we are on this planet?

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original Graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote: Maya Angelou

Be Good People Today

befat.net Be Good People

It never mattered to me what profession or occupation or affiliation or path my children would ultimately choose as adults. All I ever asked of them was to go out into the world and be good people. Thank you children.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original quote and graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be Choosy With People

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My mother, who I’ve dubbed, Our Lady of Wise Advice, recited THE PIG poem for years.  Usually it was after I’d had some altercation with a school mate (i.e. girl in a group) where some silly teenage girl thing escalated beyond immediate solvency. Just when I didn’t think my hurt and anger could get worse, the rumors and the isolation started the next day.

Our Lady of Wise Advice shook a warning finger in my face: “We are often judged (right, wrong or indifferent) by the people we chose to associate with.  These girls are not your friends.”

“What do I do?” I asked the wise one.

” ‘You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses, and the pig got up and slowly walked away…’ Walk away. Find new friends.” Then she went about her business. Our Lady wasn’t big on belaboring the point.

THE PIG poem originates from the most favorite of all poets, Anonymous. It’s been twisted and retold, embellished, even set to music, but the lesson is always the same: choose your company carefully.

THE PIG

by Anonymous

It was the first of May
A lovely spring day
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees were all a-flutter,
And I landed in the gutter
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

Yes, I lay there in the gutter
Thinking thoughts I could not utter
When a lady passing by did softly say
‘You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses’ — And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

“The Pig” by Anonymous. Public domain.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Of Course You Are

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Start off your week knowing that you are already AWESOME.

Tell someone today that THEY are AWESOME, too. You’ll make their day, and yours.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

You Will Be Just Fine

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Today I learned of a casual acquaintance who was having a tough day. Her health took a turn; not life threatening it seems, but nerve-wrecking just the same. Who hasn’t had a personal day or string of days like this? Maybe if not you personally, someone close to you.

I hope this message finds its way to her and anyone else out there whose day didn’t end with a lottery winning but something more reminiscent of a booby prize!

Wash away this crappy day and just know you’ve survived it and you will survive another one. You’re so much tougher than you know.

Blessings!

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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