Be A Listener Today

I love obscure words and this one got my attention.

Anyone who grew up in a large family or meets up for drinks with a gaggle of women (or men, of course) can probably relate. Talking over each other when there’s a group of people all vying for control of the floor results in nobody being heard.

My family once hosted a pair of lovely, smart, twentyish German brothers for a few weeks. They spoke excellent English but wanted to improve — mostly to learn slang! One thing we noticed was how attentive they were when anyone spoke. At the dinner table they listened intently, engaged in the conversation and contributed after the speaker had finished. As a mother, I complimented their mother for having raised polite sons.

On the other hand my nature was to babble over the speaker. Although I was aware of the rudeness, it continued. Not because I don’t care about the people speaking (I do!) but I get so excited by what someone is saying that I plan my response while they are at the tail end of their conversation. Bad habit.

Our German guests concluded that we (in Boston) speak so fast and on top of each other that it sounds like the kitchen staff of a Chinese restaurant on New Year’s Eve: Fast, rushed, loud. For the record, we frequented a local pizza shop where the owners yelled orders at and over each other, and back to customers. It seemed part of the entertainment. But because we’d often received the wrong order, it was clear that among all the noise nobody was really listening to each other.

And this is why the “talking stick” was invented. One at a time, people. One at a time. Listen and be heard.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio