Show Non-Judgmental Compassion

They upset us, tick us off, drive us crazy, exhaust us, anger us -– and because we’re grown-ups, we understand that hurting people hurt people. Still, knowing this doesn’t make the pain of personal attacks easier to handle.

Often the people closest to us cause us the most hurt. The pain of any attack throws us into self-judgment and self-blame. What did I do? What did I say?

It’s more than possible that you did absolutely nothing to invite an assault, but became a convenient target, caught in the crosshairs. They needed someone to point the finger at, to place blame, and in their frustration, chose you. If pressed, they might struggle to identify the exact reason they’re so flippin’ angry, at you.

Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the Four Agreements, says, “nothing others do is because of you.” What other people say and do is not ever about you; it’s about them, drawing you into their own reality.

You might have been the person’s biggest supporter, confidant, caregiver, friend, cheerleader, peacemaker, teacher –- the right person with all good intentions, and doomed to fail. It’s the behavior that hurts our human ego, not the person.

When you can turn away and not take the hurtful and harmful actions of others personally, you protect yourself from needless suffering. Once you’ve shielded yourself, offer a kind, quiet prayer of non-judgment to the person in pain, and move on. Pray that their issues get resolved –that they find peace.

On this day, I choose to not judge any person for where they are standing today. It’s likely they are stuck and panicked, unable to make helpful decisions to save themselves. And also, because I have no clue about the root or continued source of their pain, my opinion or judgment does not serve any higher purpose. I hope someday they will show the same compassion for me.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio