In All Your Splendor
Be you. In all of your splendor.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Worry Less
I was born worry-free. Becoming a worrier evolved over time.
As a kid I worried in private but kept up with the other (tom)boys. We scaled water pipes three stories up the side of Hovey School. I worried we’d get caught (and arrested!) or one of us would fall to our deaths. We fashioned “jiggers” from scrap wood, nails and rope, and screamed as the contraption shimmied and shook down Hampton Hill. A bloody-faced Frankie F. received a group-carry to his front porch. We knocked on the door and ran back to the Hill. I worried his mother would call our parents. She didn’t. Ten stitches later, he was back to co-pilot. No one got sued. All day we passed around a garden hose from kid to kid, and despite ample warnings, no one ever contracted rickets or scurvy.
My worry heightened after eavesdropping on my mother who worried about the Cuban Missile Crisis with her friends. That’s when the school began to practice air raid drills. My feeling of being out of control fed my worry that on any given day a missile (whatever that was) might land in the schoolyard, and not be a good thing.
By adulthood creepy crawly things and over-inflating my tires caused worry. So did taking wrong turns and ending up in the back streets of a shady neighborhood with no outlet. Balloons that suddenly pop and scare the hell out of me. Having correct change at the “correct change only” tolls. I book hotel rooms on low floors, worried that I might need to escape a burning building. Flying (actually it’s a fear, but I WORRY about the logistics of air travel, and whether the pilot has had enough sleep).
When I became a parent the degree to which I worried included my children. Why? Their survival skills weren’t as adequately developed as my friends from the 60s. Isn’t this what all parents believe? I’ve never seen proof that scurvy CAN NOT be contracted through sharing a bottle of Dr. Pepper.
Later I worried about the Cancer. That the late stage of it made the diagnosis bleak, at best. I worried about him. I worried about him and me. I worried about the kids. I worried about him and the kids. I worried about the separations. The treatments. Losing our jobs. Our home. Our insurance. I worried about infections and hospital bills and strict food preparations and germs swirling around — they were everywhere! All that worry consumed every waking (and sleeping) moment. Despite my diligent worrying we made it through it all.
I worried globally, too.
About the planet. The dirty air we breathe. The acid rain falling from the sky, its waters feeding the food we harvest and eat. Oil spills. Fracking. Nuclear weapons. Nasty crazies who want to hurt nice innocent people. I’m still here despite all of it, including consuming some bizarre foods, by choice.
I worried about really stupid things: Thunderstorms. Parking far away at the mall. Well-meaning clerks spraying things on me. High-pitched animal screeches in the night. Running out of milk during a Nor’easter snowstorm — kind of an inside joke around New England.
Guess what? Years and years of worry resulted in…not much. Without exception, NOTHING I’ve spent a lifetime worrying about ever harmed me the way I worried it would. I survived. My husband survived. Our children survived. Their children will survive. The world survived.
Worry, I’ve learned, is such a wasted emotion. It brings fear and anxiety and paralyzes freedom. It stresses our entire being – physically, mentally, spiritually.
If I could tack back all the worry years of course I would. Since it’s impossible, I move forward.
I worry, still. But it’s manageable and fleeting. I recognize worry for the useless, draining emotion it is and send it packing. Better planning gives me more control over the emotion. Now I turn on lights instead of bumbling around in the dark waiting for something to jump out.
I’m not wasting time worrying anymore…
Except I do worry that the second slice of pizza WILL end up on my hips. It will. That’s a fact, my friends. And it’s nothing to worry about.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Of Course You Are
Start off your week knowing that you are already AWESOME.
Tell someone today that THEY are AWESOME, too. You’ll make their day, and yours.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Until Your Last Breath
My great aunt was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in her mid eighties. A normal or expected response to this news might be of resignation and reflection. After all, twenty years ago, living until your mid-eighties could be considered a good run.
She was in fact an elderly woman. She did reflect on her life. A good life, she said. Not without its trials and hard times.
Her father died while she was still in utero. Her mother, blind from untreated diabetes, raised her and several siblings alone. I say “several” because until this day no one is sure who were the blood relatives and who were “the others”. Her mother took in orphaned children and raised them along with her own. To my great-aunt they were all brothers and sisters. This was before bureaucracy and rules. When it was common for immigrants to “adopt” without red tape, forms and lawyers. People took care of the needy when no one watched, without the benefit of welfare or insurance.
She later met and married a wonderful, fun and gregarious man. They raised a family. Built several homes and ran successful “mom and pop” businesses. Her children and grandchildren were her life. Their hurts and challenges took a toll on her psyche but only temporarily, she said. You dig in and do what needs to be done to protect your flock.
Throughout her life she witnessed injustice, persecution, inequality, harassment, discrimination, wars, senseless deaths, natural disasters. She’d also enjoyed the love of a good man, kind and supportive siblings who lived well into their 80s, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and wonderful friends.
She and he husband traveled the globe. They lived a rich and simple life, below their means. Until his death, they were hardly ever apart. Different in demeanor and personality they were like peas and carrots; unique in every way but together, better.
A little cancer scare (she’d had two others in her lifetime) was nothing to sneeze at of course, she said, but nothing to get in the way of her life plan. She relayed to her health care providers that she’d prefer to get on with the surgery and treatment. “I have places to go, things to do, people to see,” she told me the last time I visited her beside. Ever stoic and strong, ever the matriarch, she made sure there was coffee in the pot for visitors and a comfortable chair to relax in and enjoy the visit.
She was a kick-ass role model to anyone who cared to look past her flaws. Hardly Teflon, she’d been born and raised in a tough neighborhood under strained circumstances. She fought for her life all the way and stayed kind and caring to the end. “Fight the good fight until the end,” she said. “God will be happy with what you did with the life He gave you. And how you treated other people.”
Good life lesson.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Your Super Hero Powers
What if you believed, truly believed, in all of the powers that you possess? (Hint: You HAVE super powers.)
What would you do with that power? What could you do? Ponder that a second.
What if you trusted in your abilities? Physical. Mental. Spiritual. I’m talking absolute complete trust. What could you accomplish? Ponder that one, too.
To believe in your powers and abilities might make you think of a Super Hero.
Well, we humans are Super Heroes.
Look at what you’ve done so far in life. Don’t shrug it off and poo-poo it away. I am a card carrying member of the Poo-Poo Club so I know the drill. I’ve long believed that if I can do whatever it is, it can’t be that hard and everyone can do it, too.
But we know better.
Some things we do are hard or require training or time commitments or natural abilities (I’m never playing for the NBA not matter what my Mama told me!)
Consider this: if it weren’t so damn hard every one would do it. Which is why they DON’T DO IT.
We fragile humans perform incredible feats of physical and mental strength. Olympic athletes, survivors of terrible diseases and accidents, true military warriors, and weekend warriors, too — the climbers, runners, builders, creators — those who push their bodies to the limits and one inch more to achieve a personal goal whether for accolades or mere survival.
Mind stretching is another Super Hero achievement. Think of scientists who research tirelessly for medical cures and astronauts who push the boundaries of their equally brilliant support staff for space exploration. Would YOU strap your fanny to the equivalent of a bomb and thrust off into space? In theory, yes I would. In actuality? I’ll pass. Scary shit. But I hear the view is awesome. #gobeyondyourfear
Software designers and engineers develop complex code which enables us math-phobic end-users to point, click, touch a screen, get answers to any question and purchase practically anything using your smart phone. (“You can buy anything on eBay.” – Jake Gyllenhaal’s character in DEMOLITION on buying a bulldozer.) These whiz geniuses, who probably jury-rigged toasters as toddlers, make our regular world super seamless.
The list of super powers is endless. You might be like me — still searching. It’s okay as long as you keep asking yourself questions and stay curious to find answers and brave to cast your fears and keep searching.
Time catches up with us right? You wonder if you’ll ever find your super powers.
It’s easy to settle and cash in too early in life and not experience the depth of your powers and abilities. Some people know their talents, gifts and abilities early on (see toaster tweakers above).
Not me.
You’ll know your boundaries are being tested when you think and say, “this is the best I can do or accomplish in this lifetime.” It only confirms you are still in the hunt.
I swear to you that under your surface there is greatness you haven’t begun to tap. Talents and abilities beyond your imagination — hoping, praying, pleading for you to manifest it. In this lifetime. At any time in your life. Whether you’re ten or a hundred plus ten.
Today, go deep into your closet or back shelf or wherever you’ve been hiding your cape and dust it off. Try it on. See how well it fits. Run around the house and feel how powerful you are. Just like when you were a kid, before somebody told you “you can’t”.
Believe you possess inside you incredible powers and abilities. ‘Cause you do.
Go be your own Super Hero. You will amaze yourself by how far you can fly if you try. Don’t forget to stick the landing.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Image: Courtesy Pixabay
Believe In You
I’m not sure who else needs this message today besides me! The past few days, although very busy, hardly have felt productive, in the sense that nothing I’d planned to do got done. Anybody else out there?
Every once in a while I need to press RESET to remember the goal again, feel the desire again and get back in gear, again.
My recent obstacles, all good, have focused on others and not me. Not a bad thing of course, but I know that I know my “thing” inside me needs attention.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
If You’ve Got It, Rock It
Instead of being critical or spending energy on what you lack, why not rock out all the gifts and attributes you do?
This woman passed me recently and while the moment was brief, I was able to snap her photo from the passenger window of the car. She wore a long thick coat, boots, a kicking hat and formal gloves completed the ensemble. At first site she caused a stir in our vehicle as she sped by in a single-minded purpose. There was some giggling and references to our future old age.
But here’s the thing: the memory of her has stayed with me. Why? I thought that this is EXACTLY the way we should behave. By own our light. In all our glory. Out in the open.
This woman (I’m making assumptions here, of course) used a bike to get to and from where she needed to go. She dressed however she felt was appropriate or necessary for the task or occasion. And she didn’t appear to give a hoot what the pea brains like me might think about any of her choices.
For her to be riding at all meant she’d managed to keep in good shape. She was coordinated, too, balancing the ride with a cell phone in her hand and, trust me, she was cruising through the streets.
Point is she was doing it. Working it. Rocking it.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Image: Personal photo
What Will You Do Today That Matters?
This quote both stirs awareness that today is a gift and this day holds incredible power — your power of choice.
P.S. It was brought to my attention this quote is not the words of the Buddha, but should be attributed to the words of the Insight Meditation teacher and psychotherapist, Jack Kornfield. They’re found in his delightful work, “The Buddha’s Little Instruction Book.” So it’s Buddha-inspired. I still love the substantial message and poetry of the words.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
The Moment of Change
You don’t need anyone to tell you when things aren’t working. You feel it. No matter how many times you do the same old-same old and get the same results, at some point it’s obvious you’re on the wrong path. After beating your head against the wall it finally becomes apparent that change is necessary. The moment you give up on what’s not working for you anymore and choose another option is the moment your path moves in a new direction.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Write Yourself A Love Note
Not every day is a “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner” right?
It felt a bit silly, but I wrote myself a little love note. It’s ballsy to post it but ask me if I care?
If you’re in a bit of a rut, or having a chicken-less day, write out a few kind words about yourself. Go the distance and write the note on a lovely card. Stick it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and mail it to yourself. It will surely bring a smile to your face when it arrives in your mailbox.
If you’re feeling ballsy, post it.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio