Be Underestimated
Use this position to your advantage.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Take A Leap
You’re going to make the decision to leap. Some day.
Here’s the thing: Fear is generally behind not taking the first step. Excuses — even valid ones — are how we cover up our fears. Listen, fear is not an awful thing. It has kept us alive. We make decisions to not do something because we fear what might happen. Walking through a dark parking garage at night alone; eating something still wiggling on our plate. Okay, these are my fears.
Fear is bad when it keeps us from taking a chance to do something that leads us to a good or better place. And here’s another thing: We know it.
The day to start your project, sign up for that class, write your resume, turn in your resignation, walk out of a relationship, etc. is the day you say:
“I accept this is a scary decision to make, but it’s in my best interest to make it. I am worthy of this decision. This is the day I HONOR myself.”
The chasm between here (the place I know) and there (the place I fear but know I must go) often requires a giant leap of faith.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Before I Die
Sterling Vineyards. Napa Valley, CA
This isn’t meant to be dreary — quite the opposite.
I saw this chalkboard on a visit to Sterling Vineyards in Napa Valley, California. It was inspiring to read all of the entries.
I had two: The first was to visit Napa Valley. I was there, so I wrote it on the board and checked it off. The second “Before I Die” is a lofty goal. A stretch for sure, but not unobtainable — like, say, being the first female on Mars to open a Fro-Yo shop with 47 flavors. Probably not going to happen, for me. But my granddaughters have a decent shot at it.
Whether you get the chance to declare it to the world in Napa Valley or scribble it on a sticky note you put on your bathroom mirror as a reminder, what are you going to write?
Before I Die…
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Image: Personal
Be Memorable
For good or bad people form opinions about us. You can’t really change that. Or can you?
I had the pleasure of sharing a lovely afternoon with some dear former colleagues. A woman sitting next to me remembered several things that I’d said to her many, many years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with cancer.
Truthfully my recollection was rather weak, but hers, extremely sharp. She went on to say that when cancer struck her own family, my words came back to her. “This (disease) is bigger than us,” she recalled me saying in a calm voice.
Okay, if my memory serves me correct, I probably had accepted the facts laid out by the medical experts. Inside I felt a bit out of control, overwhelmed, fearful, confused, angry — but not calm! Apparently in my rather numb state I projected a air of Zen.
But to her these (forgotten) words, spoken in a controlled and rational voice not only comforted her but gave her much needed hope, she said. Who knew, right?
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the late great American poet, memoirist and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou:
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou
Today I’m humbled that what I’d said many years ago stayed with my friend when the dark clouds rolled over her family. Knowing a brief random chat later on became (one of many other) sources of comfort and hope (her words) for her and her family is awesome. People who’d been through similar experiences provided her strength and courage to carry on. All because of a few words, dug out of her memory when she needed them most.
When we walk away from conversations, casual run-ins, marriages, careers, families, jobs, or friends, we may never know how we made that person “feel”, but they will remember. Good, or bad.
As nice as it was to hear how my words made her feel, it’s more important to me that whether I knew it or not, on that day, our family’s story of survival helped her take on a horrible situation and handle it well. In love. With faith. And hope.
And isn’t that why we are on this planet?
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original Graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote: Maya Angelou
Until Your Last Breath
My great aunt was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in her mid eighties. A normal or expected response to this news might be of resignation and reflection. After all, twenty years ago, living until your mid-eighties could be considered a good run.
She was in fact an elderly woman. She did reflect on her life. A good life, she said. Not without its trials and hard times.
Her father died while she was still in utero. Her mother, blind from untreated diabetes, raised her and several siblings alone. I say “several” because until this day no one is sure who were the blood relatives and who were “the others”. Her mother took in orphaned children and raised them along with her own. To my great-aunt they were all brothers and sisters. This was before bureaucracy and rules. When it was common for immigrants to “adopt” without red tape, forms and lawyers. People took care of the needy when no one watched, without the benefit of welfare or insurance.
She later met and married a wonderful, fun and gregarious man. They raised a family. Built several homes and ran successful “mom and pop” businesses. Her children and grandchildren were her life. Their hurts and challenges took a toll on her psyche but only temporarily, she said. You dig in and do what needs to be done to protect your flock.
Throughout her life she witnessed injustice, persecution, inequality, harassment, discrimination, wars, senseless deaths, natural disasters. She’d also enjoyed the love of a good man, kind and supportive siblings who lived well into their 80s, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and wonderful friends.
She and he husband traveled the globe. They lived a rich and simple life, below their means. Until his death, they were hardly ever apart. Different in demeanor and personality they were like peas and carrots; unique in every way but together, better.
A little cancer scare (she’d had two others in her lifetime) was nothing to sneeze at of course, she said, but nothing to get in the way of her life plan. She relayed to her health care providers that she’d prefer to get on with the surgery and treatment. “I have places to go, things to do, people to see,” she told me the last time I visited her beside. Ever stoic and strong, ever the matriarch, she made sure there was coffee in the pot for visitors and a comfortable chair to relax in and enjoy the visit.
She was a kick-ass role model to anyone who cared to look past her flaws. Hardly Teflon, she’d been born and raised in a tough neighborhood under strained circumstances. She fought for her life all the way and stayed kind and caring to the end. “Fight the good fight until the end,” she said. “God will be happy with what you did with the life He gave you. And how you treated other people.”
Good life lesson.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Swim Back To Shore
I live near the ocean. One of the things you learn around here as a kid is to find your way out of a riptide. The first thing is to not panic — easier said than done. You swim parallel to the shore away from the current and back to shore.
But for the person who hasn’t learned this and panics, the consequences can go from bad to worse quickly.
In life, to allow circumstances to overwhelm you versus keeping a cool head and making good choices can be the difference between life and death.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Stop Dreaming. Start Living.
Stop dreaming. Start living.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Start Over
When yesterday sucked, but the good Lord saw to it that you should open your eyes today, rejoice! You get today to start over.
There wasn’t a thing I could do to change my husband’s cancer diagnosis. It-is-what-it-is, as they say. That day was, and still is, the absolute worst, most sucky day of my life. It felt as if life became a silent movie; there was action and words but we just sort of numbly watched the scenes play out, without popcorn or comfortable seating.
The next day reality hit. Bleary-eyed but resolute, we took a collective deep breath and agreed that this day was a good day to start over. Since there was no getting around this “thing” we really had no choice but to go through it. Together. (If there were other choices I sure didn’t know about them.)
Today is a good day to START OVER. #BeFAT
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The “rules” had changed, of course. Everything felt upside down and twisted inside out, Bizarro World. Life would never be the same, at least not in the foreseeable future. That was yesterday we said. Not so great. But today?
Can I tell you how freakin’ grateful we were to wake up with a shared, determined purpose? (Trust me, we don’t always agree on stuff!)
We tapped our coffee cups and began a toast that has continued for the past seventeen years: “To us, and no more tumors.” Today we ask for blessings for others who need some love and hope, forever grateful for each and every day we get to start again, and pray they do too.
“Life isn’t fair,” we say.
“Shit happens.”
“You need to go through the rain to enjoy the rainbows.”
Etc.
We know all the lines. Heck, we’ve got posters and screen savers and bumper stickers to support the cause. But sometimes a simple ritual, like having coffee in the morning, is a good enough place to start over.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Image: This crazy couple having an Eat, Pray, Love moment, and a delizioso cappuccino, in Italy.
You’ve Got This
When you feel today is the day you’ve reached the end of it — your rope, your patience, your trust, your faith, your sense of humor — take a deep breath. Let it out. Give yourself a moment. Take another and let it out. Do this as many times as you must until you feel the control return.
At the very least cut yourself some slack.
Sometimes the shit piles on and creates a divide wider and mightier than the Nile. Our better days seem a million miles behind us, maybe never to return again? That’s when we put on the hip boots (waders) ’cause sure as we’re standing knee deep in it, we’re gonna sink further into darkness before making it completely to the other side. And while we’re trudging through our personal pile of crap it’s hard to believe we’re actually ever going to see daylight again. But we build strength, little by little, all the way. And that strength will take us to solid ground.
Imprint this warning in your mind: Most shit that happens in your life is (usually) smaller than it appears. Think rabbit droppings, okay? And if the mountain is super high, it may take longer to complete the crossover. Either way, have faith. You’ve got this.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
A Good Day Prayer
Today, I pray you have a very good day.
May you be safe and sheltered from all harm —
your body be strong and energetic and healthy,
your mind sharp and open and accepting,
your spirit free and evolving and kind-hearted.
May you find the peace you seek —
the joy you yearn for,
the contentment you desire,
and the love you deserve.
May you spend quality time alone to think —
to pray for guidance and direction,
to ask for help and forgiveness,
to accept the limitations of others, and yourself.
May you notice beauty everywhere —
in the morning mirror as you rise,
in the afternoon light as you go,
in the evening shadows as you rest.
May you appreciate all your special gifts and talents —
the ones I see in you, lying in anticipation,
wanting you to create them, imagine them, bring them alive
and, please, generously share it all with the world.
Today I pray that you may understand your time here is precious and short —
That you truly enjoy this moment, and all the moments.
Be amazed by life’s wonderful unexplainable craziness,
and blown away by its constant bizarre twists and turns.
I pray you keep your chin up when things get tough.
I pray you keep your sense of humor when nothing’s funny.
I pray you strive for compassion when you’d rather punch somebody.
Most of all I pray you realize that people you don’t know love you, care about you and respect you.
Today, I pray you have a very good day. A most awesome day.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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