Health Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Stephanie DelTorchio google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

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Category - Health

1
Lighten Up
2
10 Quotes on Self-Love
3
Is It Good For You?
4
10 Reasons To Get Out of Bed Today
5
Start Over
6
You’ve Got This
7
Things You Can, Should and Must Do
8
A Good Day Prayer
9
Have A Good Cry
10
Believe in Second Chance Love

Lighten Up

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We know that humor can lighten a mood and change the direction of a conversation. It’s no joke that laughter is a great stress reliever, too. Sure, a good laugh cannot cure all diseases or erase serious problems. But the medical community has long touted the benefits of laughter; from changes in organ function to immune system improvement.

Oftentimes laughter is the only medicine. At least it was for us during the time my husband was quarantined to a hospital room for several weeks as he recovered from a bone marrow transplant. Despite the previous months of failed chemo treatments which resulted in a weakened physical state, my husband kept his sense of humor. It not only got us through another day but provided comic relief to some of the hospital staff.

Meal choices during his confinement period was extremely limited — my best recollection is of petrified chicken, canned beans, fried potatoes. Nothing fresh or resembling the homemade foods he’d been used to eating. Strict menu choices were meant to protect a weakened immune system from potential food borne illnesses. No matter how pitiful the offerings, he never complained.

Each day food services provided a sadistic Scantron menu card. (Scantron is a card where you fill in circles next to your selection, like the old school tests, and then a machine “reads” the answers.) I say this because virtually nothing on the menu could be ordered, so what was the point other than to give a patient fighting to stay alive something to ponder. And he spent a long time making his selections. This was the highlight of his day. But no matter what he chose, the tray arrived with the same shriveled chicken, fried potatoes and green beans.

One afternoon a young food service worker, dressed from head to toe in protective clothing, delivered his meal. She placed it on his bedside table and giggled: “We enjoyed your menu selection today, Mr. DelTorchio.”

When she left the room I asked what he’d done. As he chewed the fried chicken nugget, he too giggled then handed me the Scantron menu. He’d figured out that if he scribbled outside the circles, the Scantron reader kicked it out and a person would need to read it. That day’s menu choice: Baked Stuffed Lobster, Baked Potato with sour cream and butter, a garden salad with blue cheese dressing and for dessert, a brownie with ice-cream.

In the toughest time of our lives, a little humor became a daily blessing.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

10 Quotes on Self-Love

befat.net Charlie Chaplin on Self Love

“I will not allow anything outside of myself determine my happiness.”
~Unknown

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”
~Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.”
~Ellen Sue Stern

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.”
~Buddha

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.”
~ Thaddeus Golas

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” ~Fred Rogers

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”
~Oscar Wilde

***********************************************************************
Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday…

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Is It Good For You?

befat.net It's not selfish 2.24.2016

Take care of YOU. The tender administration of self is a necessary gift. Not only for you but for the people around you, too. Remember the saying: “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? Yeah, that. (And Daddy, too!)

My father once told me that it takes courage and a certain amount of selfishness to be the person you know you were meant to be. Sage wisdom.

Make yourself a priority, the same way you put your child, partner, family pets, financial obligations, civic duties, etc. You easily bend. You are the go-to. You are dependable and reliable for every person in your world. But do you write in ink, private time to discover, dream, create, run, read, etc.?

Putting yourself first (for a change) invites accusatory finger waggling. How dare you leave me/us and do this thing you say you need to do? Our internal voice tends to agree — the gourmet meal isn’t on the table, you’ve declined to serve on a committee, you said ‘no’ to an invitation, you leave work ON TIME! How selfish can you be? Haha.

Doing what is best for you is not self-absorbed, narcissistic behavior but sound internal and creative self-care. Do this, and everybody, including Mama, will be happy.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

10 Reasons To Get Out of Bed Today

10 reasons to get out of bed first posted by Stephanie DelTorchio befat.net 2.22.2016

So it’s rainy or cold or too dark outside this morning to wake up. Besides, your nose is stuffy. You’re still tired.

If you use an alarm clock, maybe you’ve hit the snooze twice already and you’re really, I mean really close to chucking the thing across the room. But you need to get up. Preferably now.

The hubs is nudging you, “Are you awake, honey?” or the kiddos need to be roused or else they’ll miss the bus and you’re going to be the reluctant chauffeur. Maybe you can’t stomach work or school or the obligations another day. Not today anyway, not the way you’re feeling. You seriously consider calling in sick. Maybe you wake up alone, or lonely. Or you’re still reeling about yesterday or how the night ended and you just can’t, absolutely CAN NOT, face another repeat. It’s been a string of days like this.

I’m in agreement, okay? Any one of these “gray” beginnings  makes the top of the list for a reason to pull the covers over your head and tell the world to fuck off. But here’s the upside to your self-imposed downside. And, yeah, sorry, this one is all on you. Why?

Because you FRIGGIN’ WOKE UP TODAY!

And that’s the number one reason to get out of bed. There’s plenty of people who didn’t get the chance to complain about the dark or the cold or the crying baby or the life sucking this or that. I’ll bet my last dollar that any one of those people, given the chance, just might trade this “I’m not feeling it” day with you.

Here’s 9 more reasons to consider before your feet hit the floor:

2. You have two feet to hit the floor.  No reminders from here but there are soldiers and accident victims and cancer survivors who don’t have any feet, or just one foot, or legs that don’t work without some assistance. Get Out of Bed.

3. You have an actual soft mattress to get out of and it’s probably covered in clean sheets and a pretty cover, maybe from Wayfair. You’re not asked to roll up the thin temporary bedding and place it at the end of the bunk, in a room you shared with fifty strangers. Get Out of Bed.

4. You have a place to put the bed. Not in a cardboard box or under a bridge or the back of a car. But a place with a roof, protected from the elements. Get Out of Bed.

5. You have a spouse or partner or dog or cat or goldfish or a plant dependent on you to get up. Chances are good that someone cares about you enough to want you to make coffee or water their roots, or let him out to pee (talking about the dog here people). Get Out of Bed.

6. You have food, or something edible in the refrigerator or cabinets. My mother declared she was not a short-order cook. She made oatmeal for breakfast or tea and toast and we ate it or starved. We didn’t starve. Get Out of Bed.

7. You have crusties in your two eyes or maybe just one good eye that needs water to splash open the windows to the world. If you’re near-sighted, far-sighted, color blind…no problem, join the club. You’ve probably got eyeglasses or contacts. I have blind relatives who would welcome the chance to take your blurry, correctable, lazy-eyed vision for a test drive. Get Out of Bed.

8.  You have places to go, people to see, things to do. If you say you don’t, then please, for the love of the Almighty, go somewhere, visit someone and do something today. Because you can. Get Out of Bed.

9. You have clothes to wear, shoes to put on your feet — ah, the feet again. Get Out of Bed.

10. You have excellent, or are in reasonably good health. If you are struggling today with medical issues, we (the reasonably healthy whiny ones) are sending you a special blessing for full and complete healing. But you are still alive. Please, Get Out of Bed.

Honor all the blessings — the ones we scoff at, take for granted and discount on the days when we just would rather roll over and snooze for a while longer. There will plenty of time for resting and lazying about when we’re…waiting at the drive thru. K? Get Out of Bed.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Image: Pixabay

Start Over

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When yesterday sucked, but the good Lord saw to it that you should open your eyes today, rejoice! You get today to start over.

There wasn’t a thing I could do to change my husband’s cancer diagnosis. It-is-what-it-is, as they say. That day was, and still is, the absolute worst, most sucky day of my life. It felt as if life became a silent movie; there was action and words but we just sort of numbly watched the scenes play out, without popcorn or comfortable seating.

The next day reality hit. Bleary-eyed but resolute, we took a collective deep breath and agreed that this day was a good day to start over. Since there was no getting around this “thing” we really had no choice but to go through it. Together. (If there were other choices I sure didn’t know about them.)

Today is a good day to START OVER. #BeFAT

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The “rules” had changed, of course. Everything felt upside down and twisted inside out, Bizarro World. Life would never be the same, at least not in the foreseeable future. That was yesterday we said. Not so great. But today?

Can I tell you how freakin’ grateful we were to wake up with a shared, determined purpose? (Trust me, we don’t always agree on stuff!)

We tapped our coffee cups and began a toast that has continued for the past seventeen years: “To us, and no more tumors.” Today we ask for blessings for others who need some love and hope, forever grateful for each and every day we get to start again, and pray they do too.

“Life isn’t fair,” we say.

“Shit happens.”

“You need to go through the rain to enjoy the rainbows.”

Etc.

We know all the lines. Heck, we’ve got posters and screen savers and bumper stickers to support the cause. But sometimes a simple ritual, like having coffee in the morning, is a good enough place to start over.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Image: This crazy couple having an Eat, Pray, Love moment, and a delizioso cappuccino, in Italy.

You’ve Got This

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When you feel today is the day you’ve reached the end of it — your rope, your patience, your trust, your faith, your sense of humor —  take a deep breath. Let it out. Give yourself a moment. Take another and let it out. Do this as many times as you must until you feel the control return.

At the very least cut yourself some slack.

Sometimes the shit piles on and creates a divide wider and mightier than the Nile. Our better days seem a million miles behind us, maybe never to return again? That’s when we put on the hip boots (waders)  ’cause sure as we’re standing knee deep in it, we’re gonna sink further into darkness before making it completely to the other side. And while we’re trudging through our personal pile of crap it’s hard to believe we’re actually ever going to see daylight again. But we build strength, little by little, all the way. And that strength will take us to solid ground.

Imprint this warning in your mind: Most shit that happens in your life is (usually) smaller than it appears. Think rabbit droppings, okay? And if the mountain is super high, it may take longer to complete the crossover. Either way, have faith. You’ve got this.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Things You Can, Should and Must Do

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There is a difference between things you CAN do, things you SHOULD do and things you MUST do.

You CAN for instance, chose where you live. What you do for work. People you associate with, date, marry. How well, or not, you treat yourself.

You SHOULD chose to live in a place that brings you comfort and joy. Whether a pitched tent in the woods, a boat, a house in the country, an apartment in the city or a bunk in a commune, the physical environment doesn’t matter so long as it suits your needs. Find a corner of the Universe that is yours to decorate and dwell, and invite over people you love, cook delicious food, tend a garden — rooftop or acres or a single potted tomato plant. (Wait, this is my place.)

You SHOULD chose to do work that feeds your soul and makes you happy. Do work that feels like play, if at all possible. Do work that at the end of the day makes you satisfied and exhausted in such a good way that you will want to repeat it tomorrow and the next day and the next. You’ll spend many hours doing work over your lifetime and if you go there every day grudgingly, hating it, dying inside until Friday, what’s the point? No amount of money is worth your unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

It’s okay to take a job or jobs, in order to support a lifestyle that leaves time to do the work you love. Consider this a means to the end to pursue a hobby or go back to school or focus on Act 2.

You SHOULD associate with people who elevate and complement you (not necessarily COMPLIMENT you and your ego). Understand that not everybody will love you, or like you, or tolerate your very existence. And that’s fine. Different strokes, right? Maybe get a dog, or a cat, or a horse or a gaggle of geese if human interaction is your struggle.

Avoid the negative cads and zealots. They are generally humorless and will over time suck the life blood out of you. Accept, too, that people ebb and flow in your life, like the tide. Invite them in, be willing to let them go. Be as good a friend and support to the people you associate with as they are to you.

Here’s what you MUST DO: You MUST take care of your body, your mind and your inner spirit. If you won’t do this, who will? You’ll need the discipline and strength of all three to carry you through during the times you lose your way, overindulge, trip and falter over the things you CAN and SHOULD do.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

A Good Day Prayer

befat.net

Today, I pray you have a very good day.

May you be safe and sheltered from all harm —
your body be strong and energetic and healthy,
your mind sharp and open and accepting,
your spirit free and evolving and kind-hearted.

May you find the peace you seek —
the joy you yearn for,
the contentment you desire,
and the love you deserve.

May you spend quality time alone to think —
to pray for guidance and direction,
to ask for help and forgiveness,
to accept the limitations of others, and yourself.

May you notice beauty everywhere —
in the morning mirror as you rise,
in the afternoon light as you go,
in the evening shadows as you rest.

May you appreciate all your special gifts and talents —
the ones I see in you, lying in anticipation,
wanting you to create them, imagine them, bring them alive
and, please, generously share it all with the world.

Today I pray that you may understand your time here is precious and short —
That you truly enjoy this moment, and all the moments.
Be amazed by life’s wonderful unexplainable craziness,
and blown away by its constant bizarre twists and turns.

I pray you keep your chin up when things get tough.

I pray you keep your sense of humor when nothing’s funny.

I pray you strive for compassion when you’d rather punch somebody.

Most of all I pray you realize that people you don’t know love you, care about you and respect you.

Today, I pray you have a very good day. A most awesome day.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

 

Have A Good Cry

befat.net It's okay to cry

My four-year-old son came into the kitchen crying. I scooted down and wrapped my arms around him. The dog had died in the movie he was watching. C’mon. Old Yeller? While my husband wanted our child to suck it up (the kid was 4 for chrissakes) it wasn’t just a mother’s instinct to want to console my child.

It took me a long time to accept that a good cry is a healthy way to deal with and express sadness, not a sign of weakness.

I never saw my parents cry. Never. Though I’m sure they did. They carried themselves stoically. Through funerals and a variety of family disruptions, their stiff upper lip, to me, was a symbol of emotional control.

In fact I don’t remember crying much as a child. I’m sure I did. An incident in high school upset me enough to bring my pain home and cry in front of my parents. It made them uncomfortable I could tell. My father insisted I stop. He walked out of the room saying whatever my problem was it wasn’t something to be upset about. Basically denying MY feelings.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, crying wasn’t my first reaction. I mirrored very well what I’d learned. Around me I wore an invisible armor, a survival suit of sorts, keeping my emotions contained and thereby protecting everyone. But the reality is that a cancer diagnosis is VERY SAD. And hearing this news makes people cry.

My mother was both proud and curious how I managed to keep my life together during the darkest days. After all I had three young children and a dying husband, yet the food shopping got done and the laundry folded into neat piles. On the outside I put up a good front.

Every morning I got up before the sun and the family, to take a hot shower in a place where I could remove my armor in private. As the warm water ran down my backside I visualized all the fear and anger and questions and doubts washing away, down the drain. Then one day I mentally collapsed. In deliberate slow motion, I slid down the shower wall until my ass hit the floor. As the water ran from hot to cold I hugged my knees, and rocked fast back and forth, balling my eyes out uncontrollably. The crying was primal, from a deep scary place. It went on until I couldn’t tell when my tears stopped. The release of the hard cry provided, surprisingly, a great relief.

I got everyone up and fed, backpacks filled and off to the bus. I dispensed my husband’s medications, flushed out his port and pleaded for him to please eat just a few bites of food. The household chores and work obligations got met. Together we creatively financed another day, somehow. When the night ended I tossed in bed waiting for morning when I could have my cry, alone.

Today I stupid cry over EVERYTHING. Grandbabies, puppies, sweet online videos, movies (happy and sad), news of cancer diagnoses, news of remissions, other people’s good fortunes, weddings, funerals, unexpected flowers, etc. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you are a human being with real emotions, and instead of keeping them to yourself, you let them out. That’s why tissues were invented, right?

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Believe in Second Chance Love

befat.net

One might wonder when they see an old couple, what they must have been like as young people. I do. Now wrinkled and hunched, slow in step with tired bodies, surely they’ve weathered the years through shared views and single-minded beliefs. I’m often curious about their past, what experiences they’ve been through and put each other through. How many times they’ve put aside their hard lines and worked it out. I’m in awe of these old married couples; carrying their wounds and their triumphs together until the end, in the name of love. Oh, silly, romantic girl you say? Yep.

I’m married. Happily. To the only guy I’ve ever loved. After 40 years together I’m not stretching to call our relationship “old love” because we met when we were twelve and began dating in high school.

We’re a normal couple, relatively speaking. As anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship will attest, it’s not all roses and rainbows every day of the week. As much as he (still) makes my heart go pitter-patter, there have been occasions when a Louisville Slugger would have solved some domestic issues — on both sides. Luckily, cooler heads always prevailed and we more often than not retreated to opposite corners to cool off and then split a bottle of wine. In between the rises and falls we laughed. A lot. I’d put us in the win column.

We were going along nicely, in a period I sweetly called “comfortable boredom”; working, raising a family, planting a vegetable garden…when my husband was diagnosed with late stage cancer. No exaggeration to say this news knocked the wind out of us.

It felt as if we’d been hurled off the side of a cliff into a black abyss without a parachute.

Without much warning I feared losing the man of my dreams. The details are too many for this post, but the professional consensus given was to go home to settle our “affairs”. Not something you want to hear, ever, especially when you’re mortgage heavy and with young kids to feed.

The end of the story is a happy one. Defying all odds my husband survived, and after several years of treatments we emerged a stronger couple. We found our old love that wasn’t really lost. It just had collected dust like a cherished piece of art set on a shelf. We loved it, looked at it, occasionally dusted it, but took it for granted — that something we expected to be with us, I don’t know, like forever? might fall and break.

The physical and mental scars are reminders of where we had been and how hard we’d fought. Together. Today we continue on, one of the lucky couples who got a second chance at love.

As I get older my appreciation for romantic enduring love, especially after life has thrown you a few curves, makes me a bit giddy. I am a sucker for “old love” and believe all the cliches and song lines: “Love Will Find A Way”, “All You Need Is Love”, “Love Will Keep Us Together”…

I believe in the love of good men and women, however it manifests. And I believe love finds a way to continue or renew. Call it fate, call it blind trust, call it destiny.

Today we met Gus and Dottie, a lovely couple in their mid-late 70s, having dinner in a small Greek diner about 1,500 miles from our home in New England. They were in a booth near us speaking with the owner, in Greek.

Gus overheard our Boston accent and stopped at our table on the way out. We exchanged niceties and learned he and Dottie were from a Boston suburb. I mentioned that my daughter lives in Union Square. This excited Gus, as his family opened the original Union Square Diner.

He went on to tell some wonderful and funny stories about his and Dottie’s life together. They met at the diner some sixty years ago when she was a young waitress, but her romantic interest was with another boy. Forward another fifty or so years when they met again. By then both were widowed and retired. Somehow their lives were meant to cross for a short time early on, only to reunite many years later. Today, Gus and Dottie have been married for 10 years. Second chance love.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Copyright 2012-2016 Stephanie DelTorchio All rights reserved.