Health Archives - Page 2 of 5 - Stephanie DelTorchio

Chocolate and Hugs Heal Everything

Hugs and Chocolate Cake | befat.net

A bit of chocolate goes a long way. A nice hug lasts longer…

Life happens, right? We live in a world that hands us our share of bumps and bruises. How we handle what happens to us is THE only choice we get.

See the situation for what it is.

There are big shit problems and little shit problems.

For the little ones, ask yourself if you’re making mountains out of molehills. Is there something you can do to change the situation? To make it better or eliminate it?

Plenty of things set people off. Instead of over-reacting count to ten like mother taught you. Get real. Fix it. Make it right. From a parking ticket to a spat with a friend, clear it up, if possible.

Big shit problems won’t go away overnight, of course. When you’re facing the fire it’s hard to imagine you’ll walk through it unscathed. You might. You might not. But you will come out the other side, eventually.

Tackle the problem bit by bit

“When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” – Creighton Abrams

Same for whatever size dung’s been plopped on your doorstep. Trying to consume it all at once isn’t brave. It’s dumb. You will choke — and die, according to my mother who always added “and die” to everything.

Reflect on previous wins

Think back to the times you faced adversities and survived. You’ve done well handling yourself and your problems all of your life. You did it then. You can do it again.

Putting on a brave front when your world is closing in is a common tactic. It’s the alternative to running down the street naked and screaming at everybody. The people closest to you know the mask you’re wearing isn’t your normal one. And you’re lucky to have those people around. Luckier still when they don’t judge but instead reach out and hug you. And double points if the hug is followed up with chocolate cake.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Choosing Your Inner Circle

Be with those who help your being. Rumi|befat.net

We get to hand pick the people to let into our super-selective circle.

Who do you let in? A person who helps, supports, and guides you is a cherished gift — that person belongs inside your circle. S/he will hold your hair back while you heave over the toilet bowl after a very long night (okay, college days remembered or a really stupid adult night — sadly, done both).

We DO eventually grow up — somewhat.

As a grown-up, a person deserving of your circle DOES NOT need to be summoned to take your hand while you hear a rotten diagnosis. She’s already there. She bakes a cake and hands you the other fork and you both swear not to tell a soul. She breaks out into riotous laughter that makes you both pee your pants, and then you laugh some more. It’s easy and natural and oh so juvenile, but perfect.

Somehow these people just KNOW when you need a cheer-me-up. An extra pair of hands to hold a ladder. Or advice on making funeral arrangements for your dad. They bring flowers or wine or chocolate for no reason and call just to say “hello”, I miss your company.

Any material offers are given generously without her ever keeping a secret score card to shove back in your face. Because she owns a pure and kind heart and wouldn’t harm a flea on the back hairs of a dog. And for the record, NOT ONCE has her integrity been in question because she demonstrates her loyalty and love to you over and OVER again. Consistent. Reliable. Solid as rock.

Even when you (Me) have been a bit of a shit.

The people we let into our tight circle want for us exactly what we want for ourselves, even when we don’t know it. They are the few, the select, the inner circle. They are gold.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Get Rooted in You

Grow You | positive quote |befat.net

Rich soil, clean water, bright sunshine grows a happy plant.

Self-respect, kindness, forgiveness grows a happy you.

You don’t forget to feed your plants. Don’t forget to feed yourself.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Image: iClipArt

Without Shoes? No Problem

#withoutshoes befat.net

This is the time of year (in New England) where any quasi-warm day is a reason to kick off your shoes. Finally after the cold and snow, the toes breathe a sigh of Spring.

Of course around here the early spring of May is no guarantee of flip flop weather. No problem for the diehards who walk around barefoot and in shorts beginning May 1st, no matter if there are traces of frost on the grass or not.

Each year, the folks at TOMS shoe company spend one day #withoutshoes to raise awareness for children’s
health and education. Their dream is that some day, all kids will have shoes.

Today, May 10th, TOMS is asking everyone to Instagram your feet #withoutshoes or your TOMS and help give 100,000 new pairs of shoes to children in 10 countries.

No shoes? No problem.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

My Wish For You

befat.net

When you can’t find the right words, these lyrics by Rascal Flatts are perfect.

I wish this for my mate.

I wish this for my children.

I wish this for my closest friends, and by connection, their friends.

I wish this for my colleagues.

I wish this for all the creative people.

I wish this for all the dreamers and thinkers and doers.

I wish this for you.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote/Lyrics: Rascal Flatts

Be Memorable

befat.net Be Memorable

For good or bad people form opinions about us. You can’t really change that. Or can you?

I had the pleasure of sharing a lovely afternoon with some dear former colleagues. A woman sitting next to me remembered several things that I’d said to her many, many years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with cancer.

Truthfully my recollection was rather weak, but hers, extremely sharp. She went on to say that when cancer struck her own family, my words came back to her. “This (disease) is bigger than us,” she recalled me saying in a calm voice.

Okay, if my memory serves me correct, I probably had accepted the facts laid out by the medical experts. Inside I felt a bit out of control, overwhelmed, fearful, confused, angry — but not calm! Apparently in my rather numb state I projected a air of Zen.

But to her these (forgotten) words, spoken in a controlled and rational voice not only comforted her but gave her much needed hope, she said. Who knew, right?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the late great American poet, memoirist and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

Today I’m humbled that what I’d said many years ago stayed with my friend when the dark clouds rolled over her family. Knowing a brief random chat later on became (one of many other) sources of comfort and hope (her words) for her and her family is awesome. People who’d been through similar experiences provided her strength and courage to carry on. All because of a few words, dug out of her memory when she needed them most.

When we walk away from conversations, casual run-ins, marriages, careers, families, jobs, or friends, we may never know how we made that person “feel”, but they will remember. Good, or bad.

As nice as it was to hear how my words made her feel, it’s more important to me that whether I knew it or not, on that day, our family’s story of survival helped her take on a horrible situation and handle it well. In love. With faith. And hope.

And isn’t that why we are on this planet?

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original Graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Quote: Maya Angelou

Be Happy. Don’t Worry.

befat.net/shelve-the-worry

Worry will mess up your day.

Today a dear friend emailed me with a worry list that disturbed her sleep. Although she didn’t ASK my advice, I sent her back a suggestion for putting her worries in its place.

I recently wrote about my own struggle and concluded that worry is a wasted emotion, but it’s tough to intellectualize worry when every cell of your being needs to feel in control. Telling yourself or anyone, “Hey, don’t worry about it,” could get you the kind of look your mother once gave after you put a ding in her car.

Being a take charge kind of gal, my friend might benefit from turning the mental strain of worry into a proactive task to temporarily contain it. To get a handle on her worries she needn’t run a marathon or enroll in primal scream therapy, although either is an option. Just saying.

Instead I suggested she try something that worked for me.

Write down all your worries on a piece of paper. A large sheet. Sticky notes. Paper bags. Whatever. Do your very best to let each and every worry leave your brain, exit out your body and record it. Then take the list and shelve it out of sight. Leave it there for a week.

After a week take out the list. Here’s a few things you’ll notice:

Some issues resolved themselves.

Some issues you thought were issues are now non-issues.

Some issues are problems or situations no amount of worry will resolve.

Some issues, after a short incubation period, give you a clearer perspective on what to do next, if anything.

It’s hard to discount worry. We’re human after all. But it’s imperative to get a handle on worry unless we enjoy a state of being physically and mentally stressed out.

Write down your worries. Put them away. Revisit later.

I heard this song from Bobby McFerrin on the radio this morning. Choosing happiness over worry is a choice, my friend. Don’t Worry. Be Happy. And…

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Image: Pixabay
Original remastered graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be Choosy With People

befat.net

My mother, who I’ve dubbed, Our Lady of Wise Advice, recited THE PIG poem for years. Usually it was after I’d had some altercation with a school mate (i.e. girl in a group) where some silly teenage girl thing escalated beyond immediate solvency. Just when I didn’t think my hurt and anger could get worse, the rumors and the isolation started the next day.

Our Lady of Wise Advice shook a warning finger in my face: “We are often judged (right, wrong or indifferent) by the people we chose to associate with. These girls are not your friends.”

“What do I do?” I asked the wise one.

” ‘You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses, and the pig got up and slowly walked away…’ Walk away. Find new friends.” Then she went about her business. Our Lady wasn’t big on belaboring the point.

THE PIG poem originates from the most favorite of all poets, Anonymous. It’s been twisted and retold, embellished, even set to music, but the lesson is always the same: choose your company carefully.

THE PIG

by Anonymous

It was the first of May
A lovely spring day
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees were all a-flutter,
And I landed in the gutter
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

Yes, I lay there in the gutter
Thinking thoughts I could not utter
When a lady passing by did softly say
‘You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses’ — And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

“The Pig” by Anonymous. Public domain.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Until Your Last Breath

befat.net

My great aunt was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in her mid eighties. A normal or expected response to this news might be of resignation and reflection. After all, twenty years ago, living until your mid-eighties could be considered a good run.

She was in fact an elderly woman. She did reflect on her life. A good life, she said. Not without its trials and hard times.

Her father died while she was still in utero. Her mother, blind from untreated diabetes, raised her and several siblings alone. I say “several” because until this day no one is sure who were the blood relatives and who were “the others”. Her mother took in orphaned children and raised them along with her own. To my great-aunt they were all brothers and sisters. This was before bureaucracy and rules. When it was common for immigrants to “adopt” without red tape, forms and lawyers. People took care of the needy when no one watched, without the benefit of welfare or insurance.

She later met and married a wonderful, fun and gregarious man. They raised a family. Built several homes and ran successful “mom and pop” businesses. Her children and grandchildren were her life. Their hurts and challenges took a toll on her psyche but only temporarily, she said. You dig in and do what needs to be done to protect your flock.

Throughout her life she witnessed injustice, persecution, inequality, harassment, discrimination, wars, senseless deaths, natural disasters. She’d also enjoyed the love of a good man, kind and supportive siblings who lived well into their 80s, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and wonderful friends.

She and he husband traveled the globe. They lived a rich and simple life, below their means. Until his death, they were hardly ever apart. Different in demeanor and personality they were like peas and carrots; unique in every way but together, better.

A little cancer scare (she’d had two others in her lifetime) was nothing to sneeze at of course, she said, but nothing to get in the way of her life plan. She relayed to her health care providers that she’d prefer to get on with the surgery and treatment. “I have places to go, things to do, people to see,” she told me the last time I visited her beside. Ever stoic and strong, ever the matriarch, she made sure there was coffee in the pot for visitors and a comfortable chair to relax in and enjoy the visit.

She was a kick-ass role model to anyone who cared to look past her flaws. Hardly Teflon, she’d been born and raised in a tough neighborhood under strained circumstances. She fought for her life all the way and stayed kind and caring to the end. “Fight the good fight until the end,” she said. “God will be happy with what you did with the life He gave you. And how you treated other people.”

Good life lesson.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

You Will Be Just Fine

befat.net

Today I learned of a casual acquaintance who was having a tough day. Her health took a turn; not life threatening it seems, but nerve-wrecking just the same. Who hasn’t had a personal day or string of days like this? Maybe if not you personally, someone close to you.

I hope this message finds its way to her and anyone else out there whose day didn’t end with a lottery winning but something more reminiscent of a booby prize!

Wash away this crappy day and just know you’ve survived it and you will survive another one. You’re so much tougher than you know.

Blessings!

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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