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Taking a stand, pleading for your case, making a point…lucky are we to have the freedom to stand up for our convictions.
Remember when we do this — narrow our focus, close our minds, draw lines (build walls?) — we are bound by the limitations of our thinking.
Today, give yourself the gift of open-mindedness.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Having a co-pilot is a choice when you want to share the journey. A reliable source who shares your vision and looks out for dangerous curves and potholes can save you time and money.
Being a “panster” means you take the road as it comes and make it up as you go along. No map. No true destination. No end zone.
It’s exciting to live this way — open, rogue, fearless — so long as you’re okay where you land. Someday.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is an annual novel writing project that brings together professional and amateur writers from all over the world. The CHALLENGE: Write a 50,000 word novel in a MONTH. The GOAL: Survive the challenge.
On November 1st I jumped into the writing “craze” known as #NaNoWriMo — National Novel Writing Month. This is the Olympics for writers from all over the world — beginners to accomplished — who accept the challenge to write a novel, roughly 50,000 words, in a month.For the past few years I’ve toyed with joining but each year withdrew at the last minute. This time I’m walking the walk. Wish me luck, okay?
I have the germ of an idea. And that’s about all. I’m not 100% sure of the one-liner; a complete sentence that conveys the story. Here goes (and note it WILL change):
Three estranged generations of a dysfunctional family take a road trip on the 50th anniversary of Woodstock to find the woman that connects them.
Rather, if no one is looking, or f*ck, even if “they” are, you’d be well within your right to hurl those lemons at the first moving object that tells you “every little thing’s gonna be alright.”
But let’s be reasonable humans a second. Physical violence doesn’t become us. Normally.
Today, take a quick assessment of the world around. Go on…you know the drill. You are blessed with…FILL IN THE Blah-blah-blah. Maybe on THIS DAY you’re not feeling the universal hug of all you possess.
No problem.
His rust bucket of a car with its bumper held in place with duct tape didn’t exactly fit into the neighborhood. On this street, these kinds of visitors are rare — they stand out.
We have no idea the struggles of a stranger. Instead of creating an imaginary story about what their life must be like, today, when you come into contact with a stranger, be the first one to smile. Such a small random gesture might pivot their entire day for the better.
A woman ventured from her home and tightened the belt on her coat as she walked to the end of the driveway. She approached the man hovering over her recycling bin, and her sudden presence caught him off-guard. Holding up her hands, she smiled to let him know everything was okay.
“Do like turkey?” she asked.
“What?” the old man said, pointing to his ear.
She nodded. Ah, yes…This time she asked in a louder voice, sure to move her lips slowly in a way he could understand.
“Turkey? Do – you – like – turkey?”
“Yes,” he said. His tone was quick and crisp but not offensive.
She motioned for him to wait.
When she disappeared, he continued digging through a neighbor’s bin.
A few minutes later the woman returned with a filled grocery bag — sliced deli turkey and cheese, a loaf of bread and some cookies. She handed it to the man and patted his arm.
He thanked her, put the food in his car and carried on with his work day.
By now his trash bag bulged from a neighborhood where they tossed money out like trash, one nickel at a time.
A few houses down the street, the old man was approached by a gentleman about his own age. The man smiled, opened his wallet and handed over a folded twenty dollar bill.
“Son, I want you to get yourself a nice hot lunch.”
“What?” the man said.
“A hot lunch.”
“Okay. I will.”
Sweet, right?
But this “bum” old man is a retired gentleman who could probably buy and sell that neighborhood. He’s old-school frugal and a supporter of free enterprise. He owns a state-of-the-art hearing aide but refuses to wear it while he’s “working” because people interrupt his rhythm. Collecting cans? Well, to him, it’s a way to stay busy and stick it to the government — eight grand a year tax-free. The old car? He’s not about to litter his “nice new car” with bottles and cans most people don’t bother to rinse out.
For the rest of the week he enjoyed turkey and cheese sandwiches for lunch. And let me know that the $20 went to someone who really needed it.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Listen my darlings, we live in a crazy world. Every day we’re bombarded by external obstacles — big shit and little shit. Remember the difference? Let the little ones go. Accept that the big ones will swallow you whole…unless… you understand that you cannot carry the world for long before it breaks you into pieces.
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No amount of worry or self-beating is going to fix the problem. Do the best you can with the knowledge you have and then cast your care. Write down what’s eating at you. Then rip it up. Or burn it. Or charge yourself one dollar every time you speak or think about it. (I could have traveled around the world had I done this one.)
It’s taken years but I finally gave up on the “little”. Such a friggin’ waste of time. And now I recognize the BIG. And guess what? I can’t do squat about the BIG.
Don’t let someone else who “woke up” and decided theirs wasn’t worth pursuing keep you from chasing yours.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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I‘m not sure who coined the phrase “curious octopus” but I first heard it beautifully explained by Paola Antonelli. She’s the Senior Curator of Architecture & Design at New York’s Museum of Modern Art. Voted as one of the top 100 most powerful people in the art world, Antonelli is an Italian-born architect (who, curiously, never practiced architecture).
But she’s a “curious octopus” — defined as the reaching and grabbing from a wide spectrum of disciplines to create something new. Antonelli is speaking about art and design, but for those of us with other interests, the process of cross-pollinating ideas opens up infinite possibilities.
Consider our friend the Octopus (for some reason I think he’s purple?). Picture his “tentacles” as the different areas of the brain, all firing powerful information and ideas for consideration. Now take a basic idea, say, a game to delight a five year old. Then mix and match the tentacle firings to create something fun and entertaining for an entire day.
For a kindergartner, creative play is the octopus’s imagination on a sugar high. It’s funny how easily small children take ordinary objects — empty toilet paper rolls — and turn them into kazoos, pins for “bowling”, spy glass for birdwatching or pressed together to make a tunnel for Matchbox cars. (Can you tell what I did this weekend?)
Adults, too, can be curious octopuses. Our “tentacles” are the life experiences and varied interests that resonate with our core being.
Harness your aptitudes and loves (art, child-rearing, woodworking, mountain climbing, cake decorating, horse riding, etc.) and mix them with your curiosity. This opens you up to the possibilities of creation and innovation way beyond your imagination.
Go and be any color Curious Octopus you like. I’m sticking with purple.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Come the Monday morning after you’re gone, the only person who will care about what’s left in your Inbox is the person who inherits it.
“There’s only one thing worse in the world than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” ~Oscar Wilde
Within two weeks time your work will be absorbed. You’ll be a periodic memory, reminder or footnote in one of two ways:
“Gosh, we miss Annie.”
If your work was stellar and brilliant, your inheritors will want to emulate your system, traits and processes. They might engrave your name on something to remind the new hires that ANNIE was here, and her contribution mattered to the collective success of this place. “Gosh, we miss Annie.”
Or…
“Gosh, Annie left us in a mess.”
When the first phone call ends with the realization that you coasted more than you counted, it quickly becomes apparent to your inheritors that you didn’t contribute as much as you took. Your name will be the scapegoat for weeks, perhaps months to come. Nobody can find an order, a reference or the place you left off. Excuses will mount as “the ghost of Annie” rises over and over. The only part of your legacy worth salvaging — staplers and sharpeners and expandable file binders — will be taken from your former desk before it’s assigned to someone new. “Gosh, Annie left us in a mess.”
We get one spin around this great big ball. Whatever we’ve accomplished or achieved matters, to the good or not-so-good, based on the people who follow us.
Take the stapler and the pens if you feel they’re token parting gifts. Just know that on the first Monday without you, the people who fill your space will miss you in accordance with how you left them to carry on. But seriously, leave the stapler.
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Okay, sure, there are uber obligations — most notably your job and your family, but there’s some wiggle room there, too. Unless physically unable, your family is capable of feeding themselves and finding clean underwear without your help. Trust me they can. An entire generation survived on two day old undies and SpaghettiOs, and we’re still here.
At work, take five minutes to be alone. Don’t say “you don’t understand my boss”. Oh, yes I do. Even more reason to lock yourself in the bathroom. Take a drive around the block. Walk up the street.
Nobody can suck you in or drag you along without your permission. Seriously, you guys, NOBODY.
People with their hands raised, shouting “ooh-ooh pick me!” doesn’t obligate you to do so. Every schoolteacher I know has learned to tell the class: “Put your hands down.”
I know…you’re so nice and want to make everyone happy. It’s sweet. And the world loves to take advantage of your always being one they count on to volunteer. To give a ride. Stay late on Friday night to finish the proposal. Think about your time you’re giving up to a person or situation that doesn’t A. Have your permission and B. Doesn’t make you feel good/helpful/appreciated for doing it.
People pleasers are asked to turn in your badges as you exit this life.
Stop accepting the belief that everyone is entitled to your time and space just because they invade it.
There is no rule that says you must open your door just because somebody knocked on it. Put up a freakin’ force shield. Draw a circle around your space. Install caller-ID.
Just as the world clambers for a piece of you, be sure you’re not stepping on somebody else’s day without permission. Respect in this world is a two-way street, so my mother said. Thank you, Mom.
You have dreams, goals and desires. They are waiting for you to breathe life into them. Make the time TODAY to work towards what you want to achieve.
When someone gets in your way, play a friendly game of “Mother, May I?” If you answer “yes, you may take two baby steps forward,” at least it’s on your terms. (The other answer is of course, “No, you may not. And for the love of God, change your underwear.”
BE F*CKING AWESOME TODAY!
Original graphic & quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
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Copyright 2012-2016 Stephanie DelTorchio All rights reserved.
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