Adventure Archives - Page 7 of 7 - Stephanie DelTorchio

BeFAT in 2016

Happy New Year 2016!

Dear Friends,

Happy New Year!

Today is our youngest day on Earth.

Digest that for a second.

Because it’s true.

The idea behind BE F.A.T. started as a casual conversation that grew into a simple mantra that freaking changed my perspective on life.

Instead of signing off my emails with ‘Have a nice day’, I started writing: B.A.T. (Be Awesome Today). A friend was having a less than stellar day so I added an extra punch: the ‘F’, which got a laugh. In a skinny obsessed society I hope you get the tongue-in-cheek of BeFAT without being offended.

Which almost happened at a convention when a rather large woman got all in my face and pointed to my name tag. “Explain that.” I’d written my name, drew a smiley face and in big letters, #BeFAT. She Bobbleheaded me as I explained the evolution of BeFAT. Satisfied, she smiled. “Well, that’s f-g awesome.”

When I get pissed off (rare these days) or become impatient (uhm, sometimes) or feel lazy (too often!), this little voice in my head says: “Shut Up!” followed by “BE F.A.T.”

Today I sign off emails and end phone calls with #BeFAT and #FYA (Find Your Awesome).

It’s a short, laser pointed kick-in-the-pants reminder to Be Fucking Awesome Today, before the sand in the hourglass runs out. To appreciate the finite time on this planet and LIVE your life.

Let’s face it: Life is a crap shoot. Any day the knock might come on your door, and just like that, the party is over. You’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen it happen. None of us is special enough to escape the inevitable. But we’re all great, wonderful creatures, special enough to grab this short-term existence by the balls and run with it.

No matter your path in this life you will affect somebody’s life. It might not be big or newsworthy, published or screened. You may not get your name etched in stone on a building (except a headstone!) or have a bridge named after you, but your life matters big time to someone. Enough that you should want to squeeze in as much as you can and love as many people as your humanity is capable of. Even if it’s yourself.

Not sure about you my friends, but there’s lots I want to do before I go TITS UP.

BE F.A.T. forced me to list my blessings, for real this time. To try to make TODAY matter, which is especially hard on days when unpleasant things happen. And if we live long enough, shitty things and sucky people and ugly situations always happen.

The silver-lining, and there’s always one, is the ability to choose to shift our thinking. Make the experience, good or bad, count for something.

Agree to practice less pissing and more praising.

I don’t know much, but trust me on this one: If you let it, BE F.A.T. will become an acronym that haunts you every time you want to hurl something, punch somebody, give in or give up. So basically, it’s your daily reminder to go for it!

Screw the little voice in your head, the naysayers, Debbie Downers, self-loathing talks, man/woman-created obstacles, all the junk, and let this be the time you take a chance on YOU.

Let the little voice call to you, my friend. Be Fucking Awesome Today. And every day.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

#FYA (Find Your Awesome)
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be Childlike

The word AWESOME gets thrown around a lot.

It’s a subjective word, of course. What I find awesome might bore you to death, and vice-versa. I still love the word because it makes me feel childlike. Not childish. There is a difference.

Childish is acting like a baby or with immature tendencies. Acceptable from a toddler. Draining and boorish when adults behave this way, no? You know the type. Whiners. Complainers. Demanding. Feet stompers.

Being childlike is sort of whimsical; trusting, innocent, fearless. All the endearing qualities of children. I remember watching my six-year-old son’s face as we entered the Magic Kingdom. It lit up. He couldn’t take it all in at the same time. Standing there, frozen, in awe of Main Street, the music, the characters – all of it like a dream.

Adults experience this too. Seeing a natural wonder (Grand Canyon anyone?), a Key West sunset, the streets of Paris at night from the top of the Eiffel Tower — your adult eyes open in wide-eyed childlike wonder. You process this differently than a child but it still leaves your heart fluttering. Is this real? Can I bottle it up?

Trying something new, with or without fear, brings on the giddies, right? I remember my first (and only) white water rafting trip in Acadia National Park. No lying, this gal’s heart raced, and not the good kind! Petrified, panicked, were the emotions bubbling under my surface. Crying for Mommy, under my breath.

Despite all logic to stay away from danger, we paddled hard in the direction of a waterfall. A waterfall! Every survival instinct said “turn the raft around” and paddle like hell in the opposite direction. To calm, safe waters.

Instead we paddled hard and fast towards the fall until our arms ached. At the exact moment we reached the crest of the fall my entire body went all rubbery. Fear. Just over the rim I spotted rafts filled with rafters who’d gone over the fall before us. They seemed so tiny, distant, really far down below. Excuse me, what was the size of this drop again?

“HOLD ON!!” came our guide’s instruction from the rear of the raft.

Hold on? Bet your ass!

We dipped over the crest (I swear my feet flipped over my head) and the raft arced downward, then we were airborne. The bow crashed the churning water and went under, followed by our rafting crew. One by one we bobbed to the surface like ducks; drenched, spitting and choking on icy cold freshwater, unlike ducks. Safe and stable again, we high-fived each other, screaming our brains out, elated, and alive. And like all endearing children, once we realized we’d survived the waterfall drop, collectively yelled: “Let’s do it again!”

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Image: Viktor Jakovlev

Quit Running The Universe

At some point in your life the Universe seems like the biggest baddest bossman (or bosslady). Overwhelming, unfair, crushing, disappointing. Fear not; the Universe has no idea who it’s dealing with. We’re bigger, badder Star Troopers with juggling abilities! We can wield a sword, tap dance and juggle dozens of balls, at the same time, like forever. And we do it forever.

Until…

Forever gets to be a really long time. We drop one ball. Then another. And another. Nobody can carry the Universe with aplomb. Eventually the Universe Juggler Sword fighter in you gets tired.

And, hey, who assigned you this shitty job in the first place? Or did you volunteer? Why do we do that??

We’re good at it too. Until one day you finally realize controlling the Universe offers no room for growth. Your martyrdom award collection sitting on your credenza, the ones you earned by worry, compromise, and delay of your best self, amount to nothing but dust collectors. You tell people: “See my struggles, my pain, my anxiety and worry.” Yep, there’s an award for that.

The day will surely come when you can’t drag your sorry ass into the “office” one more time. Only drinking lots of alcohol or curling up in a dark room moaning a chorus of Kumbaya seems like the best options. Then you declare the following, as loud and brave as you can (grab an award if it empowers you):

I quit.
I resign.
I give up.
I hereby tender my resignation. I no longer wish to control the Universe.

Tell the Universe you’re 100% on board with handing the reins over to some other sucker. You’re done with headaches, nausea, fatigue and all the rest that make you look ten years older than you should — despite the expensive Hollywood-sanctioned night creams hawked on late-night TV.

Take my desk, and my stapler, the cough drops and chipped coffee mug, all yours.

Parking spot? Done.

Position on the organization chart? Cross me out.

I no longer wish to be in charge. Of anything. Of anyone. Except myself. And that’s going to be challenge enough.

I don’t have all the answers. Okay, maybe I learned one or two things. Use caution here. I’m not sure they’re fact or a figment of my imagination. I have a long-standing history of accepting other people’s bullshit as truth. On second thought, don’t listen to my answers. I don’t know anything. And don’t listen to “them”. They certainly don’t know more than you. They just use really nice wrapping paper.

Rest assured, the Universe will do its thing when we all retire. The sun will rise and set; the oceans will ebb and flow.

I have questions. Lots of them. And since I’ve turned in my badge and locker combination, now is the time to be curious enough to figure out the answers. By myself. For myself.

Maybe it’s time for you to give up Keeper of the Universe and ask your own questions. Be curious enough to explore your life. By all means, I hope you take up juggling.

Forget what I said about not having the answers –just on this one. The Universe will carry on without you.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Go Out And Play

Adults at play caution befat.net

Play isn’t just for children. The big kids need time out to relax and let go too.

And it’s not all fun and games. Playing relieves stress, provides physical and mental stimulation, and opens up opportunities to share time with friends, or make new ones.

Some of the reasons we enjoy playtime as adults is to:

Learn a new skill: Power Tools, Tiling, Knitting, etc.
Create something: Painting, Woodcraft, etc.
Feel challenged: Rope courses, trail hiking, etc.
Calm down and focus ourselves: Retreats, Canoe trips, etc.
Compete: Team or individual sports.

Many children’s play centers have tuned into the needs of adults to play. After the kiddos are tucked in bed, places around the country and the world, open their doors for adult only play. They feature theme nights (e.g. dress in your favorite team gear), adult beverages, and prizes. Play centers and adult only sports are favored as fundraisers, corporation team building and events and private parties.

Here are a few fun adult game centers –not open to children!

Battle Axe Throwing is popular in Canada and England.

Battle Axe Throwing

Adult Bubble Soccer is touted as both physical fun and great for team building.

Whirly Ball is played in a “whirlybug”, a bumper car you drive with a joystick and a foot pedal. Add a whiffleball. Swat it around the court while spinning in circles, and you’ve got whirlyball.

Whirlyball

Legoland Discovery Centers opens up in the evenings where adults can channel their childhood memories and get lost in construction.

Unique play centers for adults around the world.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Sources: Battle Axe Throwing, Whirly Ball

A New Day

By it’s very definition, Zen is a total state of focus

Zen incorporates the togetherness of body and mind. Maybe a little “out there” for some people, but I challenge you to look at a beautiful sunrise or sunset and not feel your body and mind come together.

The moment this photo was snapped I felt that whatever (bad stuff) had happened the day or week or month or year(s) before wash away.

With the new tide, the beach is reborn and gets another chance to be a beach.

A new possibility.

New feet will sink in it’s sand, new birds will scurry at the shoreline, new children will collect the shells that gather. Can you tell the beach is my happy place?

“It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new life, for me…and I’m feeling good.”

This is my anthem for today.

Anthony Newley and Leslie Briscusse wrote the song lyrics to the song It’s A New Dawn for the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd.

Nina Simone recorded the song for her 1965 album I Put a Spell on You and it became a standard. It’s been recorded by many artists. Listen to her version. My apologies to Michael Bublé @MichaelBublé, my favorite contemporary version.

Please forward this graphic to your friends who need a prayer, a note of encouragement, a nudge or a KICK IN THE PANTS today.

It’s a new dawn, my friends. And I’m feeling good.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Photo and Original Graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Take The Plunge

Thanksgiving Day Swim

Around 8 a.m. Dick and MJ open their front door to welcome all ages to participate in the Annual Thanksgiving Day Swim. They’ve organized the neighborhood tradition of taking a dip in the river for 27 years.

This is New England. It’s cold in the early morning. Air temps in the 20s or 30s is typical; water temperature, 40s or 50s. Snow and ice floats always a possibility. A Turkey Day swim is not for the thin skinned.

The swimmers arrive, dressed head toe in warm gear, towels draped around their necks, some with just a bathrobe to cover their swim suit. Boots and flip flops are both appropriate footwear.

All swimmers sign the guest book -– a signature binds the swimmer to take the plunge. A warm drink, breakfast treats, and then the year’s group gathers outside for a photo.

The procession of swimmers and spectators makes its way through the neighborhood to the river’s edge. For many it’s a reunion. Kids who’ve grown up and left return for the holiday weekend and the swim. As the years pass, older folks (now spectators) give way to another generation.

There’s no official announcement, no whistle, no ready-set-go shotgun. Swimmers peel away the layers and (depending on the tide) walk across large rocks to the hard sand and the waiting river.

Spectators, who often outnumber the swimmers, cheer on their braver neighbors and friends.

Swimmers dunk in and run out. The hardiest (or warmed by liquor) show off with a few leisurely strokes. They wrap themselves in towels and blankets, their frigid baptism complete.

One teenage girl shivered: “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done,” followed by, “and it was awesome!”

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Images: Stephanie DelTorchio

The Secret of Life

Is…As soon as you find the answer let me know, will ya?

The Secret of Life is different for everyone. But it has a common theme. It’s the realization that your life matters; you matter. And you get a lifetime to figure that one out. Here’s a hint:

The secret? It’s the “thing” (or person or place, etc.) that makes you aware that you are a living and breathing human being.

And whatever secret you discover is the key that unlocks your best life. Not mine. Not your partner’s. Not your boss’s. Not your country’s. Not your parent’s (or their ghosts). Meaning you never need to explain it or defend it. Ever.

Here’s the kicker: Time. You don’t know how much you’ve got.

I think some of us have an easier time finding the secret to our life. Maybe you knew at age six you wanted to be a veterinarian. Your Dr. Dolittle office filled with stuffed animals in need of care. During school years you volunteered at the animal shelter. Then on to Vet school and now you are a bonafide animal doctor just like you knew you’d be. Then there’s people like me.

I spent most of my life being scared shit. That I would die without ever understanding the purpose and meaning and “secret” of my life.

I ran here and there, zigged this way and that, went up the hill and over the mountain looking for this elusive secret. Maybe it will never make itself known. Or worse, it does and I miss it! I’m aware of that too.

I’ve wandered around the planet, a deranged potpourri brain trying on a zillion masks to see which one fits best.

Remember that famous Confucius line? “Life is really simple; we insist on making it complicated.” Sometimes we inject unnecessary drama. We overthink.

We try too hard to seek what’s already there — you know all that constipated lip service about counting your blessings, gratitude, blah-blah-blah, etc.

It’s all good, okay? But only if you believe it at your core. It does no good to tack up a poster on your wall because the pictures behind the words are pretty.

Time to discover the secret to your life. Before time is up.

(To me) one of the best takeaway lines on finding The Secret of Life comes from the 1991 movie City Slickers. This isn’t new but it’s worth revisiting…

Here, text from the screenplay, where Jack Palance’s character Curly asks Billy Crystal’s character Mitch the following:

Curly
Do you know what the secret of life is?
(holds up one finger)
This.

Mitch
Your finger?

Curly
One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that
and the rest don’t mean shit.

Mitch
But, what is the “one thing?”

Curly
That’s what you gotta figure out.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Video source: 1991 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.

Nov 24 2015

Walk Across the Bridge

I live in an island town that is attached to the mainland by a bridge. The locals joke about “going over the bridge” as if crossing to the other side leads to some vast foreign abyss. And for some people it might be. They stay, from birth to death, with or without regrets. I don’t know. What is clear is that many people only toy with the idea of trying something new; someday, right?

Whatever the bridge represents to you — new job, begin or end of a relationship, health choice, a new home, etc. –- requires you to face your fear of the unknown. Fear can be paralyzing. Fear keeps us stuck on this side of the bridge. The side where we know every crack in the street and how to side step them. Where the old man sitting on the street corner waves when we drive by because he knows us by name. It’s familiar, and safe.

By staying on this side of the bridge we may never know what else is out there. Maybe it’s better, maybe not.

Don’t buy into the “grass is always greener” nonsense. This is spoken by people afraid to try a different brand of sliced bread.

Any deviation from the same, regular, predictable behavior is blasphemy. I heard this when I dared to move off the island.

You are here to explore and expand beyond your fenced in safe little yard. To not do so is to cheat yourself of what could be.

The challenge is to go over the bridge. Pack up your fears and worries and stomach butterflies and go. Crawl, walk, run or skip over. It doesn’t matter. Just go.

You can always come back over the bridge, but never in the same way.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Poem and original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Pick the Orange Team

Mashed or Baked?

Black pair or Brown pair?

Coke or Pepsi? I drink neither, but pressed to pick one, my favorite is whichever brand produces the best SuperBowl commercial.

Most choices we make are actually personal preferences. Choosing one over the other is not a life-changing experience.

Exception: Green Team or Orange Team?

This choice requires more thought.

To ride Disney World’s Mission: Space at Epcot Center you must choose the Green or Orange Team. The popular attraction is a centrifugal motion simulator thrill ride. It simulates what an astronaut might experience aboard a spacecraft on a mission to Mars, from the higher g-force of liftoff to the speculative hypersleep.

I’d all but given up rides that go around and around, upside down, back and forth or propelled up and dropped down. Tower of Terror anyone?

I considered the choice to be a little brave and step out of my comfort zone in an effort to face my fear of throwing up in public.

You’re given several opportunities to choose from two levels of intensity while waiting your turn at Mission: Space. The Orange Team is the more intense experience, while the Green Team enjoys the same visual attraction but with less intensity. Of course “intense” is relative to your ability to handle motion sickness and scream “Mommy!” at the same time.

The Green Team experience is a motion simulator ride that does not spin. According to the warning signs, it’s less likely to cause motion sickness. Less likely.

The Orange Team experience uses a centrifuge (spins around and around). It further tilts (upside down, back and forth) to simulate speed and tremendous G-forces during launch and re-entry. I recalled the condition of my daughter’s doll after a spin in the washing machine. Never found the leg.

The wimps who opt-out are moved directly through to the gift shop, naturally.

I’m no wimp but I’m not adventurous either. I over-interpreted every warning notice: More likely to blurt obscenities. Dizzy as a top. Black out. Become permanently disoriented. Crap in your pants.

I swore allegiance to the Green Team.

Until I got to the entrance.

The young attendant’s smug face, trained no doubt to analyze fear, certain I’d follow the older crowd. To his surprise, and mine, I picked the Orange Team.

I rode it out and exited a bit shaky but with all my limbs intact.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Awesome ADVENTURE

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Category - Adventure