May 2016 - Be F-g Awesome Today! #BeFAT google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

Archive - May 2016

1
What’s Your Fear?
2
Choose Happiness
3
Ticket To Ride
4
8 Things To Do When Your Day Sucks
5
Ride the Wave
6
What If Life Doesn’t End The Way You Envisioned?
7
Choosing Your Inner Circle
8
Your Life In A Sentence
9
At The Crossroads
10
Get Rooted in You

What’s Your Fear?

Fear graphic befat.net

Fear holds us back again and again.

We miss opportunities out of fear.

We don’t start at all because of fear.

We’re afraid because of fear!

But fear is really insurance that keeps us safe, or stuck. Depends how you look at it.

Fear is what keeps us alive; our instincts and gut feelings doing their job to protect. But fear also paralyzes  us. And we get angry at ourselves, don’t we? for being afraid to step out.

Just for today, pretend you don’t don’t have any fears. What would you do?

Fill in the blanks:

If I had no fear, I would _________________________.

If I was ______________ (select from suggestions below) I would  __________________.

Some common fears, uhm, excuses:

  • Taller
  • Shorter
  • Thinner
  • Younger
  • Smarter
  • Had a degree (or more degrees)
  • Knew somebody/Had connections
  • Was more talented
  • Could sing
  • Could write
  • Could draw a straight line
  • Sew
  • Hammer a nail
  • Didn’t fear heights
  • Wasn’t afraid to fly
  • Could drive
  • Had more money
  • Had a car
  • Had a spouse/partner
  • Didn’t have a spouse/partner
  • Had children/didn’t have children
  • Was prettier
  • A blonde
  • A brunette
  • Not bald
  • Healthier
  • Stronger

…of course the list goes on.

Forget any of these “answers”. They’re just more excuses for not doing what you are meant to do. And you already know that.

Step away from fear

Today, take a step ahead away from fear. Tell someone you trust one thing you want to do. Make yourself accountable to try to do one thing to move ahead. Agree to report back in a day or week. Do the same for that person — everyone is in the same boat.

Fear is all in our head. Okay, not if you are standing on a rooftop 600 feet above the street about to walk a thin tightrope between two buildings, without a net. That rising sick feeling in your belly IS FEAR for most of us. That too can be overcome.

Most of the fears we face are minor in scope but monumental in terms of us getting from where we are to where we want to be.

I repeat this idea often because it’s a big issue for me and many of my closest allies. The accountability thing really works. I’m embarrassed (more than fearful) to report back that I’ve not done what I’d promised. That’s good enough motivation for me.

Writing a query letter to pitch an idea to an editor or producer made my palms sweat. Silly, right? But for a long time it was the FEAR OF REJECTION that kept my letters and manuscripts in the drawer. I finally reasoned 1.I wasn’t getting any younger, and 2. What was really at stake here? Answer: Nothing.

I’m not afraid anymore. I send out an idea then move on to write the next one. If I get rejected, big deal. Nobody died. And I can do it every day now, without a net.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Graphic design and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio/Image: iClipArt

Choose Happiness

Insanely Happy wood sign positive image befat.net

Often we can’t change our circumstances, but we CAN change our attitude towards our circumstances. Happy people CHOOSE to be happy despite their circumstances.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original image: Personal photo (a sign I painted that hangs in our home)

Ticket To Ride

Inspirational Quote|befat.net

What kind of amusement park goer are you?

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth. Keep your eyes and heart open until your vehicle comes to a full and complete stop.

I make weird analogies about life. Today it’s an amusement park because it most resembled my life for a long time.

From a distance the park was this glowing, beckoning place of wonder. As I got closer my insides bubbled up, barely able to control the excitement. I hoped it was everything I’d dreamed it would be — thrills, greasy food, and lots of fun.

But once our ticket is forked over the initial sensory overload has a certain “walls closing in” feeling, no?

There’s the noise of course — wild screams, hawkers and pitchy music bouncing off scaled versions of familiar buildings.

Visually, the distractions, uhm, attractions, all tug for attention causing one’s eyeballs to skew and look more funhouse than focused. We feel the urgency to hop on every ride, play every game, experience every side show, eat every battered and fried food. And why not?

We understand that each of us is given exactly ONE TICKET to ride and that park hours are limited. We hustle in constant bumper car mode with strangers. Often herded into corrals like mindless cattle, forging the same goal — get it all in before closing time. So many choices, so little time.

Here’s a question: As a ticket holder how do you navigate your “amusement park”?

1. The Wanderer

You wander the park and wait/look for the “right” attraction.
Doing this not only wastes precious time, but you pass on experiences you should try at least once. The Wanderer is a seeker without a plan. A window shopper.

2. The Jumper

You jump on the first ride you come to, based on fear. 
“SEIZE THE MOMENT” is The Jumper’s motto, which can be a good thing, sometimes. For legitimate reasons, in or out of his control, The Jumper fears this ride may never be available again. There’s not much forethought and the consequences are often mixed.  But remember, although the road is full of many flattened squirrels who couldn’t make a decision, The Jumper creates a different brand of road kill.

3. The Adventurer

You take the ride you want, alone or with others.
The Adventurer shows a bit of The Jumper with the exception of thought-out purpose. Every new opportunity and new introduction is a potential experience to add to the resume and check off the list.

4. The Planner

You map out the park and formulate an attack strategy.
The Planner will get the layout in advance. Methodical by nature, The Planner often gets the to best attractions in the shortest time.

5. The Follower

You are content to to accept the decisions of someone else.
The Follower makes no decisions on their own behalf. Quietly there may be some grumbling or complaining but the blame of not getting on the ride or play the game of choice rests on The Follower.

As you leave the park after the fireworks, a belly full of junk food, loaded down with souvenirs you have a smile of contentment across your face. You should right? Memories of the amusement park – the sights, the sounds, the fun — and the people you’ve shared them with carry you home like a giddy sleepy child.

I want to leave my amusement park feeling that this was the greatest show on earth. You?

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

8 Things To Do When Your Day Sucks

Things to do when you have a sucky day befat.net

There are those sucky days. And when you get one, it’s best to cut your loses and give in. Until tomorrow…when you’ll go back to being awesome.

P.S. You’re still awesome — just misplaced, like between the seat cushions.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Ride the Wave

Positive graphic |befat.net

Am I the only one with recurring dreams?

I have had the same dream for several months. I’m walking the beach I love and stop at the shoreline to admire the view. A large wave begins to swell and build far off shore. I know this is no ordinary wave and its impact will crush and kill me. When I try to run my feet won’t move. They’re buried deep in the sand. I can’t even wiggle my toes.

In super slow motion the wave grows several stories high (it’s a dream, ok?). I look up to a Biblical wall of water; the top is beyond my sight. My breathing becomes rapid and heavy until no air goes in or comes out. Any last attempt to flee is moot. The wave leans forward, curling over the open sky, inches from my face. I wake up in a panic. Trembling. Clammy. Panting. But alive and safe in  my bed.

Why does this keep happening? I’ll spare my long self-analyzing reasoning but there’s been major changes in my life that require a shift in unfamiliar directions. It’s no wonder I feel crashed on and consumed.

I saw a version of this quote (source unknown to me – please, tell me if you know). The meaning of the message has allowed me to breathe a bit easier during the day.

Now when I go to sleep I’m prepared for the dream.

I walk the beach that I love and stop at the water’s edge to admire the view. I’m wearing a wet suit and carrying a longboard. The same wave begins to swell offshore. As it rolls to shore I can’t say that I’m not nervous — I am. But I know the wave can’t take me out because I’ve learned to surf.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

What If Life Doesn’t End The Way You Envisioned?

What If I Fall|positive graphic befat.net

What if your life doesn’t end the way you envisioned?

After all, you went through the long process. You did your best. Lived by the Golden Rule (mostly). Paid your taxes. And your dues…

You failed sometimes (or what looked like failure).

You won sometimes (or what looked like success).

You trusted your instincts. Went with your gut.

You trusted people. Worked out with some. Not-so-much with others.

You made a freaking decision, or many decisions. (More than the majority who never do, by the way)

You stepped out and learned something — applicable or not, you stretched your arms, your vision, your brain.

You took a chance.

You showed up. Every. Single. Day. (Alright, just about every single day)

You sweated it, tolerated it, promised it.

You honored it, stood by it, gave it everything you had.

You fixed it when it broke and tried again.

You kept the faith. (When you wanted to throw in the towel)

You tried. Again. And again.

You got involved in something that made you happy and free.

You opened your eyes and your heart to love. (Sometimes it worked out)

So maybe it doesn’t end the way you’d hoped or planned or envisioned.

Just what if it ends a whole lot better? Imagine that.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Choosing Your Inner Circle

Be with those who help your being. Rumi|befat.net

We get to hand pick the people to let into our super-selective circle.

Who do you let in? A person who helps, supports, and guides you is a cherished gift — that person belongs inside your circle. S/he will hold your hair back while you heave over the toilet bowl after a very long night (okay, college days remembered or a really stupid adult night — sadly, done both).

We DO eventually grow up — somewhat.

As a grown-up, a person deserving of your circle DOES NOT need to be summoned to take your hand while you hear a rotten diagnosis. She’s already there. She bakes a cake and hands you the other fork and you both swear not to tell a soul. She breaks out into riotous laughter that makes you both pee your pants, and then you laugh some more. It’s easy and natural and oh so juvenile, but perfect.

Somehow these people just KNOW when you need a cheer-me-up. An extra pair of hands to hold a ladder. Or advice on making funeral arrangements for your dad. They bring flowers or wine or chocolate for no reason and call just to say “hello”, I miss your company.

Any material offers are given generously without her ever keeping a secret score card to shove back in your face.  Because she owns a pure and kind heart and wouldn’t harm a flea on the back hairs of a dog. And for the record, NOT ONCE has her integrity been in question because she demonstrates her loyalty and love to you over and OVER again. Consistent. Reliable. Solid as rock.

Even when you (Me) have been a bit of a shit.

The people we let into our tight circle want for us exactly what we want for ourselves, even when we don’t know it. They are the few, the select, the inner circle. They are gold.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Your Life In A Sentence

Inspirational quote|befat.net

NOTE: I’m writing this post after reading author Dan Pink’s book, DRIVE. This is a snippet of information and I suggest you read his book for more information.

Have you ever been told that the way to conduct your life is to write your own obituary?

It’s a popular college assignment. And many life coaches ask their clients to write their obituary as a goal-setting exercise. You write the end of your story first and then set out to do all those great things you said you did.

In Dan Pink’s book, he poses an alternative assignment. He asks the question: “What is your sentence?”

The origin of the question is attributed to journalist and pioneering Congresswoman Clare Booth Lace –a badass in her day. Worried that the young President John Kennedy might be in danger of trying to do too much, she told him: ” a great man is a sentence”.  Meaning a leader with a clear and strong purpose could be summed up in a single line.

For example: “Abraham Lincoln preserved the union and freed the slaves.”

Martin Luther King lost his life by trying to better the lives of the African-American people.”

Pink says that to find your true motivation you don’t need to be president of anything for this exercise to work.

“To make your sentence come alive and provide motivation that lasts, ask yourself these two questions every day,” Pinks says:

1. What is my one sentence?
2. Was I better today than yesterday?

If your goal(s) has not yet been achieved, ask yourself: How do I live my life to line up with the sentences I say about myself?

I’m going to work on mine.*

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio
Image created with DreamSpace app.

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*For now: “She gave everything honest effort, and ate an obscene amount of chocolate” is a good start.

At The Crossroads

inspirational quote|befat.net

Remember when Dorothy followed the yellow brick road and arrived at the crossroad? Here she met the Scarecrow where he pointed one way, then the next, then both ways. He couldn’t point her in the right direction —  no brain, right?

We can ask our friends for help but ultimately we must decide which is the right path.

A crossroad is a point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences.

When you find yourself at a crossroad it should be a time of pause and reflection. Evaluate where you’ve been and where you want to go.  What changes do you need to make? What are your interests? Where will you NEVER return? Hint: Backwards.

There may be no “right” answer, but the choice made will be important to your future.

Use your brain.

Summon your courage.

Search your heart.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Get Rooted in You

Grow You | positive quote |befat.net

Rich soil, clean water, bright sunshine grows a happy plant.

Self-respect, kindness, forgiveness grows a happy you.

You don’t forget to feed your plants. Don’t forget to feed yourself.

BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Image: iClipArt

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