Have A Frivolous Day
Just because every once in a while it’s fun to do something for absolutely no reason at all.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome FUN
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
You’ve Always Had the Power
Today you might face a struggle. You question your strength to start, or continue. It’s a battle. Uphill. There are obstacles. Some you know are coming but have no idea around which corner you’ll trip and fall, or when.
It’s slow going, or worse, a step backwards. You ask: How long can I keep this up? When will it end? Will it get better?
I know it’s a simple movie line, but it’s incredibly powerful:
You’ve Always Had The Power. #BeFAT
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“You’ve always had the power,”
A confirmation statement that within you is all the strength, courage, fearlessness, tenacity and resources you need to overcome today.
And that’s a key, my friends. Today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Today.
When you realize that you only need to have the power to get through today, the huge burden you carry is a teeny tiny bit lighter. You don’t have to solve it or resolve it all.
ON THIS DAY, you have the power to make it. To figure out how to get from Point A to Point B in one piece with your sanity intact. You’ve always had the power. Use it.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome POWER
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
Eat Well. Exercise. Die Anyway.
Most days I am good to my body.
In a blender goes some spinach or kale, a clump of parsley, spoonful of avocado, a stalk of celery, filtered water and a scoop of green pea protein powder. I might do a few reps with hand weights to fight the underarm jiggles, or walk the beach, or ride the bike.
Then there’s the other days. When I eat a chocolate-covered donut or anything fried. When the most exercise I get is throwing some clothes into a washing machine –- not exactly dragging them down to the river and beating them with a stone eh?
I’ll bet our ancestors didn’t count carbs or check their Fitbit or practice intermittent fasting. No…their regular day was packed with physical exercise: up at dawn, milking cows, tilling land, scrubbing clothes (with a stone??), chopping wood, etc. They ate what they grew and raised and slaughtered. Their daily focus was survival.
It’s doubtful I’d survive such a life. I’ve been domesticated, like some prairie animal. Television and magazines bombard me with ads for exercise equipment, creams, lotions, potions, medications to help me do this, or, God forbid, not do that!
I’ve made peace with getting older and my inconsistent eating and exercise patterns. I consider it a privilege to wake up. And I offer up gratitude every day my feet hit the floor. Sagging underarms, drooping lids, gray hairs and all.
It’s my obligation to enjoy my life. And not beat myself for eating half a bag of salty pretzels. And not doing 100 burpees. Tomorrow I’ll eat better and do some squats. Maybe.
Today I’m holding to the mantra I adopted a few years ago:
EAT WELL. EXERCISE. DIE ANYWAY.
It’s going on a t-shirt. Because you can’t have too many t-shirts.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Tshirt
Awesome Self-Love
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
10 Things Never To Do Again
“Happiness is not a goal; it’s the by-product of a life well lived.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
I got to thinking about the things I really enjoy doing and why I don’t do them more often. For me these things revolve around relationships, travel, food (and yes that includes wine), and writing.
What do you enjoy? Do you find yourself skipping over the fun stuff because there’s just “not enough time”?
Unless you plan or schedule time to do those fun and interesting things, it’s easy to become a proverbial hamster on the wheel. The 24 hour cycle of daily life and minutia: work, cook, clean, meetings, appointments, kids, volunteer, etc. All those tasks fill up most of your days (and nights) and keep you in motion, but lead to a place called Not-Much-Fun-For-Me-Land.
A few years back I took a hard look at how I’d spent the previous few months. I made two lists:
#1 Time Suckers; all the ways I filled my days, and
#2 Things I Never Want to Do Again.
I learned that I’d wasted a lot of time, and pleasurable things happened much less than I realized.
Time Suckers:
- Work
- People
- Volunteer/Committees/Appointments
- Errands
- Household tasks (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc.)
- Standing/Waiting in line (for something/somebody)
- Shopping
- Watching television
- Mindless reading
- Mindless computer/internet surfing/playing
- And a few other G-rated time suckers I’m embarrassed to list.
Someday…when the Prince of my dreams…
I’m ordinary, not royalty, so until I marry a Prince and inherit his kingdom, this is my life. Some items are necessary of course. And most of those Time Suckers actually bring me joy. But I knew that with a conscious shift in scheduling, the fat could be cut to make more time for the good stuff.
The Time Sucker list was the easy part. Just by lowering my self-imposed housecleaning standards, a fair amount of time opened up. My new motto: There is an acceptable amount of dog hair I can live with.
.Ruthlessly eliminate or reduce Time Suckers in your life. #BeFAT
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Just like any fat cutting diet, you will have withdrawal symptoms. I needed to agree with myself that getting rid of Time Suckers made me leaner, i.e. to do the things that really matter.
I hacked away at the list by consolidating tasks and shutting off the television. Then something big happened. I shifted from seeing my life as a fixed list of time sucking To Dos to the creation of a mini-manifesto:
10 Things I Never Want To Do Again
1. Work for someone on the 9 to 5 clock.
There are plenty of employment opportunities that don’t require a gatekeeper or time clock.
2. Work with people who don’t have a passion for the work we share.
Together we can move mountains, or furniture!
3. Work only for the money.
Money brings financial security but I’ve met plenty of miserable wealthy people.
4. Miss an opportunity to be with my family or friends.
A recital, ballgame or a dear friend just passing through town can never be bought back.
5. Excuse an opportunity to help someone.
There’s always someone worse off. We’re on this planet to help each other.
6. Miss the chance to travel.
The view is only so wide from my front porch.
7. Associate with crazy people.
This includes the mean-spirited, egocentric, selfish, angry, gossiping, vengeful, spiteful, unkind, or paranoid. For the record, I’ve been all of them and don’t ever want to be one again.
“I don’t do crazy any more.” #BeFAT
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8. Wait in line or for an appointment longer than required for the intended purpose.
Or make someone wait for me. Unless I got a flat tire on the way, it’s rude, arrogant and thoughtless to be late.
9. Be afraid to try something new.
And do it anyway. Not on a dare, but because I know it might be fun or provide real growth.
10. Take my mental or physical health for granted.
Be mindful that both need constant care and attention.
Writing this kind of list requires you to be a bit selfish, but, it’s your life, right?
Start simple
Listing 10 things you never want to do again is fairly easy. Putting your 10 things into practice is hard. Not everyone is going to be a fan of your list. And because you say “never want to do” doesn’t mean you never will. Let’s call this a lifetime achievement goal in the making.
I’m a big believer in starting small by doing ONE THING. Take a first step without becoming overwhelmed with an exhaustive list. Start with one thing you never want to do again in order to give you back some time to do something that truly makes you happy and adds quality to your life.
Write it down. Stick it on the fridge.
I never want to (THIS ONE THING) again in order to (THIS ONE THING) more often.
In the end, we are all looking to live a happy life, right? Make your lists. Please share at least ONE THING to encourage others to do the same.
Eliminate your Time Suckers to gain the time to do one thing that makes you happy.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Life
Awesome Choice
Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio
All Treats, No Tricks
Whether you shut out the lights and pretend you’re not home (Halloween humbug, really? ) or host or attend a Halloween party, here are a few ways to Treat yourself sometime today (or maybe tomorrow!).
- Take a long hot bath. Go all in with bubbles or a book or a glass of wine. Here’s 5 reasons why it’s better than chocolate.
- Get a massage. Relieve your week’s worth of stress, get the kinks out, and let your mind travel far, far away. More than a good feel!
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Take a road trip alone, preferably with the music turned way up. Start by taking a drive around your own city or town. Amazing what you might see when you’re not focused on getting to the market.
- Ditch the candy (you’ll just hate yourself in the morning anyway) and have a glass of wine, or coffee (they’re both getting rave health benefit reviews). By the way, chocolate isn’t so terrible. Blogger divinecaroline says it’s good for your hair.
If you plan to attend a Halloween Bash, or two, here are some great Halloween Pun Costume ideas. My thinking is if you have to explain the pun, give up: Put on a white sheet and cut out two holes for your eyes.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Sources: Consumer Reports, divinecaroline.com, Travel Soul Therapy, Best Health Magazine/Canada, Prevention.com, Pinterest.
Awesome Celebration
Awesome Self-Love
Awesome Holiday
Grow Anywhere
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Growth
Forgiveness Free Pass
We are taught that when we forgive others we give ourselves the greater gift. And that when we hold on to unforgiveness it’s like ingesting poison hoping the other person will suffer. And that’s bad, and kind of a stupid plan to your being awesome today.
But what about the unforgiveness we hold against ourselves, huh? Aren’t we harder on us than anybody else? Who exactly does that serve? Um, no one.
As human beings we are very good at beating ourselves up for what we did, or didn’t do. It holds us back. We’re grown up smart people and we know this. But we wrap the noose tighter anyway. For years and years. How awful is that?
Lower animal creatures, like the squirrels in my yard, don’t seem too concerned about what they did or didn’t do yesterday. Or that the squirrel down the street muscled in on their territory, or ran off with a slimmer squirrel.
Every day they show up to do their job: to be squirrels. They gather a slew of acorns; shove ‘em in their cheeks until it burdens them enough to unload them in their hiding place.
But I sense no despair or self-loathing as they hunt and gather and unload. In fact, they chirp and chase each other in fun, until something bigger (my dog) comes along and chases them away. I sense that’s all part of the game, a hierarchy of cat and mouse. And the animals get it.
Today, let’s be like squirrels. Gather up all the things you can’t forgive yourself for doing or not doing and unload them in a hiding place.
Hand your FREE PASS over to the Universe.
Say: “I forgive myself for…[Insert a fault, any fault here]” and go outside and play like a squirrel, or bark like a dog.
Awesome Forgiveness
Preparation Ache
Every day we make a choice of what to wear. Sounds simple. Does everyone have this figured out but me?
In the morning I stare at the closet. Clueless. Don’t like this shirt, this one has a coffee stain, this doesn’t match, the button is loose here, too tight there, too bulky…it’s easy to get overwhelmed even before the sleepies are wiped away.
But this is probably going to be the easiest decision of the day.
Your mother (at least my mother) was right. She called it, “Preparation Ache”. The remedy: figure it out the night before.
In case you thrive on drama and indecision, get two outfits ready. A or B. This or that. Be daring. Make a choice. Go with it.
It’s my new policy.
In fact whenever I come across “basics” that fit well, I’ll buy them in different colors. This helps too. Sorta.
It’s early morning. I chose outfit B. Then rethink it and change into outfit A. I dry my hair, then change back to B and head out the door. I have a few appointments, a trip to the bank, the post office, meet up with someone for coffee late in the afternoon and finally back home…where I hang up my coat.
It’s when I notice my shoe choice. (Almost) the exact same style. One black, one brown.
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Choice
Born to be Awesome
Despite everything we’ve been fed from pre-school on up, we weren’t born to be AVERAGE.
Being Average is (mostly) a choice.
Average people are mediocre at everything, by choice.
Average people sleepwalk through their day, by choice.
Average people read about other people doing great things, by choice.
Average people barely show up, by choice.
Average people waste a lot of time, by choice.
Average people wish for a lot of things, by choice (and because of all thos
e pretty catalogs that flood mailboxes!).
It’s easy to fall into a day of being Average by excusing the choice to do better: I’m cold. I’m hot. I’m tired. I’m this. I’m not that.
One Average day turns into a string of days, then years; an entire lifetime goes by. You die Average.
But you aren’t Average, remember?
Take some time alone and write down everything in your arsenal to prove to yourself that you are way beyond Average. Don’t underestimate what you take for granted or poo-poo to others: musical abilities, fine art talents, physicality, mental prowess, spatial design, nurturing, salesmanship, mentoring, arbitration, culinary skills, etc. These are your superpowers.
Average people fear to admit their superpowers because it requires something be done with them. Even if you came from less than royal beginnings, my dear Royal Highness, you were born to be AWESOME.
Can I get an “AMEN!”?
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Self-Love
Awesome Discovery
Are you a successful failure?
We’ve all heard the kick-ass term: “Failure is not an option.”
Do you know where the phrase came from?
In preparation for the movie, Apollo 13, the script writers, Al Reinart and Bill Broyles interviewed Flight Dynamics Officer, Jerry C. Bostick to learn what the people behind Mission Control are really like. Bostick said the staff remained calm, and when things went wrong they laid out all their options, and failure was not one of them.
The screenwriters later had a Eureka moment and came up with arguably one of the best movie lines ever: “Failure is not an option.” It’s become the rally cry of athletes, military, heads of businesses and governments, and a myriad of weekend warriors.
But flip this saying a bit, and one realizes: Failure IS an option.
Failure is an option.
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You can always fail. Now yours (and mine) may not be the super critical malfunction of an operating system that potentially leaves men to die in space, but…failing at a job or a career happens.
I spent years searching for the right path to take. I knew down in the dark deep places of my mind what the right path was, but rather than taking that road and risking failure, I chose other paths. Safe paths. Acceptable paths. Financially stable paths.
And I failed.
Over.
And over.
I wasn’t the deadbeat drop-out kind of failure. I was very good at being a very good diligent worker.
My walk and talk matched. Everything about me projected an honorable gal doing an honest day’s gig for a middle-class wage. And I liked my work and my co-workers. Even one boss, who was enormously gracious and supportive.
Actually, I was a “successful failure.”
Huh?
Every job I had was wrong for me because it didn’t scratch at the core of who I knew I should be. I’d mastered the fine art of successful failure by taking a career trajectory doomed to crash and burn. It killed me to know it.
You can fail at doing a good job.
You have choices in this world. Sometimes those choices involve risks. Take a chance on you and if you are going to fail, at least fail doing something you love.
When your gut and your heart tell you it’s not right for you, do your best to give yourself a get of out jail free card. Try doing that thing you are meant to do.
Give Yourself a ‘I’ve F-d Up Again, So What?’ Gift Card.
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If you fail? So f—g what?
If it doesn’t work out, or it isn’t everything you hoped it would be, go back and do that job again until you retire. I’m betting you won’t do it.
Are you a successful failure?
BE F-G AWESOME TODAY!
Awesome Inspiration
Awesome Second Chance
Awesome Rewind
Screw It Today | BeF.A.T. (Be F--g Awesome Today)
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