5 Things To Tell Yourself When Nobody Gets Why You Want To Do THAT | Be F-ing Awesome Today google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

5 Things To Tell Yourself When Nobody Gets Why You Want To Do THAT

Butterfly image. Post: inspiration and motivation transformation personal growth self-love befat.net

A caterpillar doesn’t care what the other caterpillars think about its journey to become a butterfly. The change doesn’t come easy. After four development stages, each necessary for the next, the caterpillar struggles to emerge as an entirely new creature.  When it fulfills its destiny there’s no argument over the beautiful and awe-inspiring results.

Transformation in life is hard, especially when nobody in your circle gets why you want to change. They love you but wish you’d stay stuck in your cocoon because it’s easier on them. But you are not caterpillar. While you may be wrapped in your cocoon for the moment, inside you’re working magic to develop wings.

Silence the other caterpillars

This time you’re going to do it. For real.

Leave a good job to start a small business.

Go back to school.

Do an about face after investing years in a career.

Maybe you’ll take a sabbatical to travel and photograph the world.

Retire earlier than planned and turn your life experiences into a memoir.

Move to a new place. Far far away.

Your cocoon is starting to wiggle!

Whatever is calling, know that you rock! Because it’s a gutsy move to take a leap and make a major change. At any time. At any age.

This shouldn’t be so hard. After all you’ve been through metamorphosis before: from infant to adult and shades in between — teenagers seem to transform daily! You’ve experienced relationship changes, employment changes, many beginnings and endings throughout your lifetime.

Perhaps your goals aren’t as Band-Aid® ripping as a total shift in interest, career or location.

But it’s often the less lofty ones that hang us up the most.

You want to take an oil painting class although the last time you picked up a brush was to paint your fingernails.

You see all these bendy gals in their lululemon® gear and decide to give hot yoga a try, wondering if it will help or hurt your bum knee.

You love the lyrical rhythm of Romance languages and always thought it’d be cool to order something in French in a French restaurant in freakin’ France.

Quick flashback to Monsieur Carter’s Intro class where you eeked a passing grade with an extra credit poster. Thanks to a quart of Elmer’s glue and grandma’s National Geographic magazines.

Time to secure your position

Despite our internal critic, this time, FOR REAL, we friggin’ want to parlez-vous Francais! Or paint. Or move. Or dance…

Dean Jackson quote on transformation using the butterfly analogy from the blog post: Leave The Caterpillarswww.befat.net

Then here comes the rub.

Enter your well-intentioned circle of family, friends and colleagues. You tell them the thing you want to do. First you get the polite half-smirk smile.

“Here she goes again.” The unspoken words practically visible above their heads. Not exactly the enthusiastic fist bump you’d hoped for, right?

They bring up, nicely, all the other hare-brained ideas you’ve had before.

Times you’ve started then quit.

Your already full schedule .

The cost.

What about your other obligations?

You agree because you know it’s probably the truth.

I remember telling my mother about the skit I wrote for the high school Christmas show: “That’s nice. Set the table for dinner, and use paper cups this time, Jacqueline Susann.”

The transformation begins

But this time it’s different. YOU are different. Comprenez vous?

Constructive criticism is super helpful at the right time, in the right doses.

Say you want to quit your sales job (someday) to become an elementary school teacher. You’ve always loved kids. You’re tired of constant travel, strange hotel beds, clients who give off the vibe that you’re just another intrusion.

You’ve made a decision. You’re ready to roll. Except…

Seems nobody’s as enthusiastic as you.

All of the little roadblocks and pitfalls  that have kept you up at night just got some major reinforcement from people who KNOW you and LOVE you.

They have a clear head, an objective opinion and shine light on the darkness ahead that you can’t see. For God’s sake woman, we’re saying this for your own good!

How do you stay focused when you feel like the odd gal out?

Here are 5 things to tell yourself when nobody gets why you want to do THAT:

♥  I don’t need to blindly accept their wisdom

It can be a real momentum killer if you do.

If you ask for an opinion, a real helper will lay out the pros and cons with you. Offer resources and experiences to bend the learning curve in your favor.

For those who don’t get you, ask for their support in any way that’s easy for them to give and that truly helps you move forward. Maybe a friend will walk your dog for an hour while you listen to a podcast. Or take your kids for an afternoon. I had a friend offer her home while she was away for a weekend so that I could focus on a project.

Support from the people around you is just a bonus. Thank them very much and carry on with what is in your heart and gut.

“Don’t base your decisions on those who won’t deal with the results.”

♥  I am committed to the long game

If your thing is a passing interest like to make a set of pottery bowls, take a pottery class. But this BIG THING of yours isn’t fleeting. It’s pretty serious. Try it for a year. Yep, make it a serious commitment. At the end of that time if it didn’t turn out the way you imagined you can carry on with your head up high for having seen it through.

Where you’ve failed in the past, find solutions to overcome them so you’re ready when they rear up again. ‘Cause they will.

“Commitment transforms a promise into a reality.”

♥  I will find my people

Funny thing. Butterflies don’t hang out with caterpillars.

Surround yourself with people in a similar mindset. You can find people all over the internet who want to learn beekeeping and start a business. There’s literally some group for interest. Finding people who speak your language, in this case, honey, you won’t need to seek support from people who don’t get you.

Find a mentor or an accountability buddy, someone who will keep after you, like a pitbull on a pork chop.

“Great mentors inspire!”

♥  When I get stuck I’ll dig deeper

Things WILL go wrong. You will have days where you feel stuck or worse, just spin your wheels, going no place fast. Just because your besties don’t get you and your mentor is AWAL, don’t stop your progress. Keep resources on hand that you can refer to when the answer eludes you. Find one of your like minded people and hash it out. This is where consistency and perseverance pays off.

“If the hole is deep enough get a bigger shovel.”

♥  I will celebrate my small wins

Every little victory is a cause for celebration. Chances are even a tiny gain took hours of work and commitment. Enjoy your moment and then get back to create the next one.

“A little progress each day eventually adds up to A LOT!”

When you’ve made a decision to begin a transformation in your life hold tight to that idea. For you, this time the change is for real. No matter what “they” (the caterpillars) say or think.

Hello butterfly!

Remember that your family and friends truly want to see you happy and successful, and you want that for them too. It can be disheartening when those who love you don’t get why you want to put yourself through all the trouble to do THAT thing.

Yes, there will be many stages and struggles ahead, but in the end the world (and your circle) will be wowed by the new creature you’ve become. Bien joué!


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You have lots of good ideas on your want-to-do list. But which one to tackle first? Use this self-evaluation guide to figure it out. Let me know if you try it and what you think. Your Next Big Thing Self-Evaluation Guide and Worksheet

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Dean Jackson quote on transformation using the butterfly analogy from the blog post: 5 things to tell yourself when nobody gets why you want to do THAT by Stephanie DelTorchio befat.net

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