Be F*cking Awesome Today

Release The Albatross Around Your Neck

Number One: We’ve all done things we’re not necessarily proud of. inspiration freedom

Number Two: Whatever you call them — errors, sins, poor judgements, misdeeds, crimes — what’s the freakin’ pride in carrying them year after year? inspiration freedom

I’m tired already of doing this like it’s my job. Not to mention my back isn’t as strong or limber as it once was to shoulder such a heavy load until the end of my days. Hopefully, you’re with me on this one.

The origin of the phrase

The phrase “an albatross around your neck” alludes to Samuel Taylor Coleridge ‘s poem “ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” in which a sailor who shoots a friendly albatross (a large sea bird) with a crossbow, is forced to wear its carcass around his neck as punishment.

In more modern interpretations, it’s meant to symbolize the crap we carry as a badge of penance. Oh the drama…

Stop torturing yourself

I’m thinking had I forgiven myself for all my “stuff” years ago, I’d be tall enough to play in the WNBA as a point guard. Instead, on tippy toes, I barely pass the marked sign: “You need to be THIS TALL to ride the rollercoaster.” (Post: Real life moves up and down)

So when is it the right time to release yourself from the yoke of past transgressions and carry on with your one beautiful life?

Probably yesterday. inspiration freedom

The view from the world

It’s doubtful you’ve ever killed an albatross with a crossbow, but something you did has caused you to shoulder a heavy burden. In this lifetime it’s impossible to keep your nose out of trouble. And your mouth shut.

The outward signs of the stigma or shame hold you down. You aren’t light enough to take flight. And the people close to you see your everyday struggle.

What if you skew your perception of the old Albatross?

Rather than clinging to it, accept it.

Own it.

Atone for it. T

hen let it the frig go.

And by the way: The onus is on you. Nobody can do it for you. So don’t ask.

Give your albatross freedom

Treat the burdens you’ve chosen to lug around as a friend; someone who looks to you for help and a hug and a glass (or bottle) of wine.

As freely as you’d give dear friends compassion, understanding and a pass for her actions, be as kind and generous to yourself.

Remember, at the time you committed these acts, you did so with the collective wisdom you had to date. To hang on to something from your 20s or 30s, or whenever, with all your present day sense and faculties is ridiculous.

If you knew better then you would have done better. You didn’t know. You fucked up.

But you’re experienced now.

You know better than to lie and steal and leave bags of flaming dog poop at someone’s doorstep. At least we hope you do.

Your personal albatross is the permission slip YOU write.

To stay stuck and weighted down is pure self-torture.

It’s not a pretty sight okay?

Carrying the albatross stymies progress and growth and limits opportunities. If you move at all, it is with the foresight of a sloth.

Release the dead carcass. Release the burdens you’ve shouldered. Release yourself from under the weight of what no longer serves any purpose — as if it ever did.

Step up. Stand straight. You ARE tall enough to ride.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

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I Spy With My Little Eye…A Mirage

A mirage is an optical effect where an object in the distance appears as a mirror or water.

We’ve all seen movies where a person stranded in the desert is in desperate need of water. Hovering above the horizon he “sees” a lifesaving pool. With their last once of energy the person crawls toward the vision.

Why is it never chocolate cake?inspirational motivational quote

Some days we see what we want or need to see.

Omar Sharif rides his horse through a mirage in his opening scene of Lawrence of Arabia. Photo source: Columbia Pictures.

In the children’s game I SPY you try to guess what the other person sees.

We were four adults entertaining a group of children by “spying” and guessing various objects while waiting for a restaurant table.

“I Spy with my little eye…” Each child said this while looking directly at the object, which made the game, well…easy.

Except for one child.

“I Spy something gray…,” said the precocious four year old looking all around, giving nothing away.

Every guess from the adults and older kids ended with a proud “nope.”

By the time our table was ready we’d exhausted every object we could see.

Proudly, the youngest player pointed to my husband’s cropped gray hair.

We were looking “out there” — at mirages. The winner focused on what was right in front of her.

Looking too far ahead is a double-edged sword.inspirational motivational quote

Done as part of a long term strategy, such as having a retirement plan, is prudent. A bucket list vacation that takes serious planning provides fun and a carrot-at-the-end-of-a-stick kind of excitement.

Although it’s good to have something to look forward to in the future, these items should run in the background of every day living.

Having an eye “out there” wastes time “here”.

In the moment, making rash decisions or wild guesses or heading for a mirage seems like a good idea.

Sometimes the present isn’t pleasant. When we can’t or don’t want to confront it or take helpful action it’s easier to abort.

Crawling in the direction of what we think will be a lifesaver could have the opposite effect.

The thing is, often the best approach to survival (and winning at I SPY) is to pay attention to what’s in front of you. “Out there” is okay for planning or adventure but not as a day to day living plan.

The journey is real.

Seize the moments of this day because they won’t come around again.

Depending on the day you’re having you may hope and pray for the sun to go down. 🙂 Or maybe the day is so unbelievably magical you don’t want it to end. Either way, it’s a piece of your path.

So compelling is the desire for what’s “out there” that we’re willing to forgo what’s in front of us — real or imagined — to get to it.

It’s okay to look up at the horizon. Just be wary of making the far away destination your only goal. Its view changes as you walk towards it. Sometimes better. Sometimes not so much.

You guys, mirages are acceptable if you’re lost in the desert and in search of water. Otherwise, look closer. “I Spy with my little eye..something chocolate.” inspirational motivational quote

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

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Be F.A.T. Inspiration For Newbies

Some of you have been on this BE F.A.T. journey with me for a while. Thanks for staying when there are lots of options out there. Humor me a minute okay? There are new people checking out this site and I’d like your help in crafting our BE F.A.T. message. How I see it and how YOU see it could be as far as the east is from the west. inspiration motivation humor blog

My daughter says that the “F” word is wide open to interpretation. It means something different to every reader — Fabulous, Fantastic, Free, Forgiving, etc. True?

If you don’t want to read the text there’s an audio link option. It’s my first attempt at trying this. I’m way out of my comfort zone making a recording, but what the hell right? My dog kept looking at me, like, “you talking to me?”

I’d appreciate your feedback on where we go from here together. Please leave a comment.

Thanks.

(Audio Version of Welcome message…I could have been less serious…)

A message to our new friends:

Choose Your Words Wisely

Mark Twain quote on word choice.jpg

Sometimes the answer you received is directly related to the words you chose to ask the question.

The next time you ask a question consider the words you choose. And if you want a different answer, ask a different question.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

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It’s Time To Live BIGLY

FUNNY QUOTE: Bigly* pronounced: big-lee. An adverb meaning to do it in a big way. *It's a real word. I know, right? Me too.

Constantin Stanislavski, a Russian stage actor and director, remarked that “there are no small parts, only small actors.” The meaning as it pertains to your life is easily transferred: You were not created to live playing small. Even in your select little world you get to choose to play the lead actor. live bigly

However, every moment you waste rolling over all the shouldas, wouldas or couldas in your head takes away from doing shit that matters.

Time is your most valuable commodity, and it’s running out. The kicker is that you have no idea when the end buzzer will go off. So the question then becomes: “How do you suck it in for all it’s worth for as long as you can?” The short answer is, no matter where you are in life, “Live BIGLY.”

You Have Options, For Now

In the 1970s my grandmother believed there were only four job options for a young woman: teacher, nurse, secretary, or to marry fictional heartthrob, Keith Partridge and make babies.

………………………………………………………………………….

My dad poked me to go on.

“College,” I said. “Data processing, you know, computers.” This was me trying to explain to my lovely Italian grandma why I wasn’t getting married.

“Nurse-a”? she said, a bit confused.

I could have been speaking English, Greek or Swahili. It didn’t really matter because it wasn’t her Sicilian dialect.

Living in America for seventy plus years, she’d survived just fine with a toddler’s vocabulary and hand gestures. Yet she could sing every word of the Partridge Family‘s theme song. With an early version of a fist bump to the heart, she made it clear “bello” Keith Partridge and I should get together. Which was the goal of every girl sleeping with a Tiger Beat magazine under her pillow.
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5 False Expectations That Will Ruin Your Day

funny life quote false expectation

You want to believe in people, right? That what they say to you is the truth. And promises made will be honored. But when the bond of expectation proves false — for example: I promise to always put the seat down — who can you rely on? Well, you of course. Or a foot powered seat closer. Trust me, it’s a thing.*

See we have these lofty expectations about people. The right guy or gal. The co-worker or supervisor. The kid who takes your order over the phone. The government. Hell, everybody is capable of feeding you a line. And you, Mr. and Miss Gullible, believe it all — hook, line and sinker.

And why not?

Your mamma taught you tell the truth, so help you God.

Politicians swear to defend the Constitution of the United States, “so help me God”. Witnesses swear to “tell the truth, the whole truth, so help me God”. Men swear to put the seat down, so help me God, THEY DO NOT.

Do you see a pattern here?

So when did someone’s word become crap?

Your Flaws Are Nobody’s Business

“Ilike my flaws. They define me.” That comment set me free from the daily self-sabotage of not feeling worthy. I’m only sorry that it took so long make peace with my flaws.

Should you need to feel complete and amazing and inspired today for no particular reason, there are three things you can do: inspiration funny fl

1. Take a good, extra long look in the mirror.

I’m gonna slap you if you focus on your “flaws”.inspiration funny flaws

Why is it so HARD to see beyond the surface of crow’s feet and acne scars and friggin’ ‘stache hairs? Because we (society) place so much worth and value on the superficial view.

You notice age spots multiplying faster than fruit flies. Your once plump skin slowly sinks below your jaw to party with the other two chins.

Welcome to the club.

Suck it up, and then,

7 Funny Inspirational Quotes And Musings About Life

funny inspirational quotes

We know one thing for sure: The moment we are born the countdown clock to death begins. We must rely on small bits of funny and inspirational wisdom collected along the way to make the journey livable. Or laughable.

1. “Not every day is perfect. Sometimes it needs chocolate and beer.”

Achieving perfection is nearly impossible. That said, if perfectionism is unobtainable, is chasing it a bad thing? Let’s hope our doctors and tax accountants don’t think so.

Writer Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love and BIG MAGIC fame) says “perfection is just fear in really good shoes.”

Truthfully, most of us are comfortable going through life barefoot. It’s seem the way nature designed us and besides that, we’re less likely to trip on our way back from the bar.

Mop The Floor And Shut The Lights

inspirational quote on moving on after adversity.jpg

There comes a point when there’s nothing more you can do to make a situation better other than to shut off the lights and exit the building. moving past failure

Too many of us spend precious days or (gasp) years on the wrong people. At the wrong job. Walking on the wrong path. Wasting daylight hanging on to false promises, believing the same lies over and over.

Are you wishing and hoping that soon, THE day of change will arrive? You know…the one where s/he comes back. The top brass finally fires your baffoon office manager. The kid flies straight?

Are you waiting for the dark clouds following you to break up and shower unicorns from the sky farting strawberry-scented rainbows?

C’mon.

Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.

You are not insane.

By now you’re spent and exhausted, depleted and drained.

If the reflection in the mirror is a face you’re tired of greeting every morning, stop. Make this is THE DAY you end the craziness controlling your life.

Ah…yes, you say. I don’t need to put up with this shit any more.

No, you don’t.

But wait, maybe it’s not all that tragic or dramatic.

It might be way more benign, but just as exasperating.

Like the lemon of a car you bought. The stupid thing went back and forth to the dealership like a teeter totter.

Every mechanic looked under the hood. Every possible part was checked, rechecked, refurnished or replaced. Meanwhile the warranty expired. And still the piece of crap didn’t work as promised.

What did you do?

You ended it. Replaced it with something that didn’t make you want to rip the hairs out of your head every single day.

You’ve tried YOUR BEST. There’s nothing left in your bag of tricks. What do you do now?

Mop the floor of your blood, sweat and tears. Shut the lights. And move the frig on.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

Other posts you might like:

When It’s Time To Move On

Make Your Own Freaking Lemonade

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The origin of the phrase

Stop torturing yourself

The view from the world

Give your albatross freedom

funny inspirational quotes

1. “Not every day is perfect. Sometimes it needs chocolate and beer.”

Join our Tribe of Awesome Folks! We have places to go, people to see & things to do.

Join our Tribe of Awesome Folks!
We have places to go, people to see & things to do.