Be F-ing Awesome Today | Page 2 of 49 |No B.S. Inspiration & Motivation To Live What You Love google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html
Why Do It At All?
Playing It Safe, And Why It’s Killing You Inside
So You Had A Bad Day
Believe In Self-Made Magic
Keep On Truckin’
Borders, Boundaries, Fences and Locks
Outwit The Time Bandits
Time Is Running Out But Don’t Hurry
Control Freaks Not Wanted
When Nothing’s Funny Order The Lobster

Why Do It At All?

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Just as a sunflower doesn’t sprout unless the seed is planted and watered, you can’t expect to grow and bloom if you don’t at least disturb the soil.

My mother, who I often refer to as Our Lady of Doom and Gloom, among other things, feared her own shadow. That’s why she protected (uhm, sheltered) us from going out in the world. To her the planet was filled with lions and tigers and bears (oh my) lying in wait to tear small unsuspecting children to smithereens.

“You want to play what? Have you EVER played tennis?”

I stood in the kitchen watching her cut the crusts off peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. “You don’t have a racket. Or tennis sneakers. Besides it’s hot outside. You’ll sweat to death and die,” she said, taking a long drag on her Virginia Slims.

She’d made me think about everything that could possibly go wrong, as if it would go wrong.

She was right of course.

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Playing It Safe, And Why It’s Killing You Inside

Don't die with your music still inside you. Dr. Wayne Dyer quote.jpg

Playing it safe is about the worst thing you can do if you expect to make progress on anything. Living comfortably within the borders ensures that your greatest desires itching to get out remain confined. What to do? You need to step outside what feels comfortable or you’ll die with your gifts and talents inside. What a shame for you and us too.

What if instead of playing it safe — painting everything beige, staying between the lines, living the status quo — you reached out or stretched up and dared to say OUT LOUD that one thing you want to do that scares the crap out of you?

How do you think you’d feel if you lived your truth instead of what everybody else believes (or tries to convince you) is your truth?

It would be, in an overused word: Awesome.

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So You Had A Bad Day

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Let’s face it folks, every day can’t be a winner. No matter how well you’ve planned it out or how positive your attitude when you rolled out of bed, someone, somewhere, some thing will mess it up.

Here’s the good news: You’ve been down this road before.

So if you had a bad day yesterday, congratulations. Guess what?

You’re still here to talk about it. Ready to tackle another one. 

Keep up the good work.


Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Believe In Self-Made Magic

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Magic isn’t stuff of movies, sleight of hand trickery or for children at Christmastime. Fascinating, enchanting and spellbinding opportunities circle around you every day. Trouble is we believe it’s there for other people, not us.

To that we say POPPYCOCK! (A proper British term meaning “bullshit“).

When we take a break from our daily bread of murmuring, whining and complaining, the silliest of things can appear magical. The hints show up in the craziest places too. In quiet whispers or banging drums. In rustling leaves or ocean waves. Often IN YOUR FACE.

But only if you wipe away the skepticism. Stop the self-pity behavior. Release the anchors holding you in place.

By burying your face in your hands you can’t possibly see the world moving around you and all the goodness passing by you. And eventually you’ll get light-headed and pass out.

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Keep On Truckin’

Don't focus on what went wrong Focus on making it work inspiration.jpg

Is there anything worse than being derailed on the way to paradise?

You’re driving along, having a nice ride through beautiful vistas and valleys, road map in hand, headed for a destination you’ve been dreaming about and planning — for weeks or months — when WHAM!

Flat freakin’ tire.

This was not the plan. This is NEVER the plan.

Your perfect getaway itinerary was set in stone.

Not once in all the preparations did you make provision for detours or delays or bad luck.

No one (mostly no one) expects that you’ll be forced to wobble away to the breakdown lane like injured roadkill.

A flat tire is a temporary setback. If you’ve got a decent spare in the trunk and the know-how to fix it, it’s not a big deal. Sure you lose a bit of time, utter a few curse words, but no real harm’s done.

But what if you find yourself stranded in the middle of God damn nowhere? Without a spare. Out of cell phone or GPS range. Maybe night is falling.

The stakes are raised a bit.

Besides putting a slight cramp on getting to your destination as expected, a lengthy stop often incites chaos among the passengers.

Fingers point. Blame is laid. Tempers flare.

Somebody ALWAYS needs to pee.

Isn’t day-to-day life like this?

You start off with a perfect agenda — the right man/woman of your dreams, career path in your chosen field, excellent robust health, well-behaved children, loving extended family — and then without notice, things go flat.

You don’t necessarily have alternate options for a bad marriage, company lay-off, cancer diagnosis, troubled teen or family arguments. Most times you’re blindsided by shit flying off the back of a truck. Then you have two options:

  1. If you’re quick, zigzag the hell out of the way
  2. If you’re panicked, hit it dead on (risk a flat, or worse)

Sometimes you must not look back on what just went wrong. In some cases you might need to ride with the flat along the shoulder longer than you’d like, and ease your way into the closest available rest stop. Hopefully they serve hot coffee. Or cocktails.

Often it’s better and more productive to focus on making the situation work. You can try pleading and compromising and sweet treats, but understand that despite all your efforts to change the damn tire, not everything is 100% fixable.

It’s up to you whether you spring for a new tire or keep riding with a flat.

The point is to get back on the road and just keep truckin’.


Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Photo credit: Will Langenberg on Unsplash



Borders, Boundaries, Fences and Locks

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Creating boundaries.

Every once in a while you make yourself feel safe by creating invisible borders, imaginary boundary lines or even building a physical fence to keep others out. Here’s the problem: None of those do squat to stop a persistent person (or pesky critters for that matter) from crossing the line.

Locks as such were invented to keep honest people honest. With few exceptions (locksmiths, thieves, panicked parents) we’re not going to pick the lock to get in. Most of us are respectful and observant enough to see the fence, “feel” the cold hard line, and then walk away.

Sure sometimes we need to feel the safety we (think) we’ve created. To be left alone. To avoid confrontation. To forbid those who’ve hurt or threatened us to stay far far away.

There are times that the only way to protect yourself so that you can move forward (or mourn or reflect or think) is to shut out the world.

But if we’re on the “other side of the fence” trying to get in, we can only hope that some day you’ll leave the key under the door mat.



Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Photo credit:Jason Blackeye on Unsplash


Outwit The Time Bandits

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One day you look in the mirror and see this older version of yourself and wonder: When did the time bandits break in and enter my life and steal all the years?


For me it’s more like: “Who the hell are you, and what did you do with the young gal who used to live here?” stop-wasting-time

A wise person sees beyond the obvious —wrinkles, spots, sagging — and assesses below the skin surface. You understand the truth: it is a privilege to age.

Time is both an enemy and a friend.

You buy the creams and lotions in hopes of salvaging (or warding off) the inevitable, of course, but you’re also quite conscious of the time stamp on your life.

Maybe reality hits and today’s the day you start taking inventory, asking:

Have I done what I’ve wanted to do in this life?

Am I satisfied with the path I’ve taken or choices made?

Have I reached out and stretched and challenged myself to discover my potential?

Fulfilled my wildest dreams?

Am I making the best use of the time I have left?

Have I let the cat back in? Fluffy!??

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Time Is Running Out But Don’t Hurry

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Hurrying through is not the antidote for finishing on time.

What you end up with is usually sub-par.

It’s true when making a chocolate souffle for a special dinner. And it’s true in living your life.

Be aware that time is a commodity. But don’t hurry it along or you’ll miss the good stuff. And end up with a flat souffle.


Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash
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Control Freaks Not Wanted

Cartoon quote: A CONTROL FREAK has an over-inflated EGO. Shut up and trust me. I'm smarter, better and know more.jpg

At some point in life maybe you’ve either been a control freak or have come across this breed of human — a supercharged ego who dictates how things are to be done. control freaks inspirational motivational

You know the type.

They can’t quite let anyone else do anything because they’re better, smarter, stronger, more capable…the list of their superiority is never-ending. Just ask them.

Growing up we called my father a little dictator (control freak), behind his back of course.

In his defense, he dealt every day with a gaggle of kids in a tiny house, sort of like a pilot cooped up in a plane at 30,000 feet…no where to go, no lock on the cockpit door, and hearing from the flight attendant that there’s a riot in 27B because somebody just took the last snack box.

My experience has shown these freaks crave control like a street drug. Often obsessive, angry, phobic and mood-swingy men and women, you’re never sure exactly what will set them off.

Not the kind of people you want to challenge to a game of, say, Monopoly.

My father was always “The Bank” because apparently none of his children owned enough toes to give the correct change. During a good game he’d buy up the majority of properties and grin over his stack of $500 bills. When he was on the verge of losing (to a kid who owned Park Place AND Boardwalk WITH hotels) the game board and pieces suddenly were overtaken by a rogue tornado.

They are gloating winners. And worse, poor losers. control freaks inspirational motivational

Getting older didn’t make dealing with control freaks any easier.

Towards the end of a contract job, after spending months dealing daily with a longtime card carrying member of the control freak club, I began to treat each day as if I were a contestant on a game show. It made the finale bearable and mildly entertaining.

“Welcome to the show…who is the guest host today?” I’d say this to myself before entering the building because I never knew which personality disorder would show up.

My supervisor had given me a lengthy to-do list. When I presented the finished product, along with the checked off list, he meticulously reviewed it in front of me. Then I was asked whether I’d completed a task NOT ON THE LIST.

“Never mind. I’ll do it myself,” he said and walked away.

At that moment I felt like I’d landed in JAIL. Do not pass GO. Do not collect your $200.

Psychologists, I’m guessing, have had a field day studying the control freak personality. No matter the psychological or chemical imbalances, their explanations do nothing to help we mortals to fend off the”crazies”.

Control freaks can’t admit they’ve done anything wrong. Ever.

They’re often delusional. Think: The Emperor’s New Clothes.

They’re zealots.

They’re humorless.

But as long as they stay far, far away, it’s rather amusing to watch them self-destruct.

When they do, they’ll point to everybody else in the room because control freaks don’t make mistakes. Or accept responsibility, unless they’ve stopped a tornado in its tracks. And they’ll hold a company-wide meeting or press conference to tell you how great they handled the situation.

Here's a fun fact...people don't always do what you tell them to do.jpg

We’ve all heard the lines:

“It’s a good thing I’m here to make this place run.”

Yes, it must be a tough burden to carry a building, a country or an ego that large.

“I will do it myself because everybody here is incompetent.”

If this isn’t said out loud, it’s pretty clear by the eye stares and the stupid notes they write, who’s the truly incompetent party.

“I’m the best there is at this (or that).” control freaks inspirational motivational

When you’re the best, it’s clear I can’t compete with this (or that). So I won’t (or don’t).

It’s funny to be around a control freak when so much of life is clearly out of anyone’s control. The next time one of them stops a tsunami or produces a correct drive thru order, I’ll be first in line to kiss feet.

I’m sure there are ways to combat these people but it’s a futile effort and I’m too tired to try.

I spent years as one myself. Mostly in my home. Because I did EVERYTHING better than everybody. Actually, I did everything. Not better. I just did it. The laundry, the dishes, food shopping, doggie duty…it’s what mothers do, right? So for brief periods in life being a control freak makes the system work. For real.

If a control freak can get to the point of giving up control, their life would become much calmer, at least for the people within hearing range. But calm seems to be the anti-thesis of their existence. Creating chaos and controlling that chaos is how they earn their stripes.

Hey control freaks, guess what?

If you don’t do it someone else will.

Maybe not like you.

Maybe better.

Until then, clear the runway folks. It’s going to be a bumpy landing.


Other posts you might like:

Your flaws are nobody’s business

The hard way to change your life

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When Nothing’s Funny Order The Lobster

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Menu for day one: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth. cancer humor

Menu for day two: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth.

With a little variety — fried pork and canned cling peaches — these were the basic food choices for my husband for the 100 days following his bone marrow transplant. Restricted foods included fresh fruits and fresh vegetables, raw foods, milk products, medium cooked meats, seafood…pretty much anything not canned or cooked to death was off the list.

How many days would it take you to fling the hospital food tray across the room (assuming you had the strength to do it)?

After a few days of the repetitive, boring, “petrified food menu” my husband chose to order the lobster.

This went over big with the food service staff.

Let me back up a minute:

There are (too) many times in life when it’s tough to find something to laugh about.

Nothing’s funny about a cancer diagnosis, or the treatment protocols. Or for that matter, attending funerals for family and friends. Or being the victim of natural disasters…or any of the hundreds of crappy twists and turns that can happen in your life.

Lucky for us humans we have the gift of humor and laughter. No other creature shares the same level of ability to be entertained by stupid things.

Life can lead you through a battlefield, where you find yourself ill-equipped to protect yourself. Often finding the humor, especially during the most difficult times, is good medicine no doctor can prescribe. The ability to laugh when nothing’s funny is your radical self-care weapon.

It’s that defiant, in-your-face, lighthearted attitude that just might be the defense to carry you through toughest circumstances.

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Back to the lobster…

My super smart husband figured out how to order dinner “off the menu.”

The hospital used a scan card system where the patient filled in the circle next to the desired limited choices. One day, when my husband seemed especially weak, I read the food items out loud and asked him to choose.

“Give me that card,” he said. “I’m cooped up here (in isolation) for six weeks. Filling that out is the highlight of my day!”

Never attempt to separate a man from his menu…

Later that evening a sweet young girl arrived with his meal. She was covered head to toe with protective clothing; only her eyes were exposed, and they were smiling.

“We enjoyed your menu selection today, Mr. DelTorchio.” She giggled, placing his tray of over-cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and fried potatoes in front of him. “Can’t wait to see what you order tomorrow.”

Once she left he showed me his scan card.

He knew that by scribbling on the face of the card the scanning machine couldn’t “read” it. A real person was required to manually do something with the rejects.

“What did you do?” I asked.

He turned the card over and read while crunching his nuggets:

“Baked stuffed lobster…

Baked potato with butter and sour cream..

Caesar Salad…


Coffee milkshake…

Strawberry Shortcake.”

On day 100, recovering at home, our children helped make a baked stuffed lobster, stuffed with a second lobster. On the side we served a loaded baked potato and salad. For dessert? Ice-cream sundaes for everybody.

Nothing funny about that.


Other posts you might like:

When the word of the day is challenge

Chocolate and hugs heal everything

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Laughter is spiritual warfare quote.jpg