When Nothing's Funny Order The Lobster - Stephanie DelTorchio google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

When Nothing’s Funny Order The Lobster

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Menu for day one: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth. cancer humor

Menu for day two: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth.

With a little variety — fried pork and canned cling peaches — these were the basic food choices for my husband for the 100 days following his bone marrow transplant. Restricted foods included fresh fruits and fresh vegetables, raw foods, milk products, medium cooked meats, seafood…pretty much anything not canned or cooked to death was off the list.

How many days would it take you to fling the hospital food tray across the room (assuming you had the strength to do it)?

After a few days of the repetitive, boring, “petrified food menu” my husband chose to order the lobster.

This went over big with the food service staff.

Let me back up a minute:

There are (too) many times in life when it’s tough to find something to laugh about.

Nothing’s funny about a cancer diagnosis, or the treatment protocols. Or for that matter, attending funerals for family and friends. Or being the victim of natural disasters…or any of the hundreds of crappy twists and turns that can happen in your life.

Lucky for us humans we have the gift of humor and laughter. No other creature shares the same level of ability to be entertained by stupid things.

Life can lead you through a battlefield, where you find yourself ill-equipped to protect yourself. Often finding the humor, especially during the most difficult times, is good medicine no doctor can prescribe. The ability to laugh when nothing’s funny is your radical self-care weapon.

It’s that defiant, in-your-face, lighthearted attitude that just might be the defense to carry you through toughest circumstances.

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Back to the lobster…

My super smart husband figured out how to order dinner “off the menu.”

The hospital used a scan card system where the patient filled in the circle next to the desired limited choices. One day, when my husband seemed especially weak, I read the food items out loud and asked him to choose.

“Give me that card,” he said. “I’m cooped up here (in isolation) for six weeks. Filling that out is the highlight of my day!”

Never attempt to separate a man from his menu…

Later that evening a sweet young girl arrived with his meal. She was covered head to toe with protective clothing; only her eyes were exposed, and they were smiling.

“We enjoyed your menu selection today, Mr. DelTorchio.” She giggled, placing his tray of over-cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and fried potatoes in front of him. “Can’t wait to see what you order tomorrow.”

Once she left he showed me his scan card.

He knew that by scribbling on the face of the card the scanning machine couldn’t “read” it. A real person was required to manually do something with the rejects.

“What did you do?” I asked.

He turned the card over and read while crunching his nuggets:

“Baked stuffed lobster…

Baked potato with butter and sour cream..

Caesar Salad…

Corn-on-the-cob…

Coffee milkshake…

Strawberry Shortcake.”

On day 100, recovering at home, our children helped make a baked stuffed lobster, stuffed with a second lobster. On the side we served a loaded baked potato and salad. For dessert? Ice-cream sundaes for everybody.

Nothing funny about that.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

Other posts you might like:

When the word of the day is challenge

Chocolate and hugs heal everything

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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