Stephanie DelTorchio - Page 47 of 48 - Inspiration and motivation tips to empower you to do what you love before you die google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html
Be A Little Brave Today
I Don’t Do Crazy Anymore
Daily Examination of Faults
One Day
Be the Parent of You
Have A Frivolous Day
You’ve Always Had the Power
Eat Well. Exercise. Die Anyway.
10 Things Never To Do Again
All Treats, No Tricks

Be A Little Brave Today

Don’t confuse personal achievements (being a little brave) with giant and heroic acts of bravery.

Unexpectedly brave

Men and women in the military. First responders. Our brothers and sisters who run toward the chaos when most of us run in the opposite direction; brave giant acts of the highest order by true heroes.

Cancer patients, women and children in crises, lonely and ailing elderly, and many others who face day to day struggles, whose today is the brave decision(s) they will make to survive.

Please send them all a blessing today.

I’m speaking about those of us who live afraid, under the awning, three rows back in the crowd. Raise your hand.

Do you remember as a child being egged on by friends to do something? Be your friend. Give yourself a nudge. Push just a little bit to get to the next level. If you don’t know about levels ask anyone under twenty-one. Your collecting coins towards the top of the leader board.

To be a little brave is to step outside of what’s normal. It’s reaching a bit deeper, away from what feels comfortable.

To be a little brave today is to take the stairs instead of the elevator, knowing you may need to stop after five steps to catch your breath. You’re overweight. It’s no secret. Your body knows it needs the exercise.

To be a little brave today is to talk to the stranger who looks lost. Not everyone who doesn’t look like you is a psychopath. They may need to find an emergency room, the post office or the nearest coffee shop!

To be a little brave today is to volunteer for the community play because you always wanted to be on Broadway. It’s too late you say? Don a fun wig, assume a strange accent. Go play in a play. They need extras.

To be a little brave today is to send out your poem or story or pitch or enter your photographs, drawings or paintings into a show. Trust me, the world will not fall to pieces (and neither will you) if you don’t win a blue ribbon.

To be a little brave today is to make a call, send a note, or knock on the door of the person you want to reconcile with before you die. (If they’ve put a restraining order on you, skip this little act of personal bravery — this is the definition of flagrant stupidity).

To be a little brave today is to say “YES!” this one time when you routinely say no. Yes, saying “no” is the easy, familiar, and predictable path. Imagine the possibilities when you finally say yes. Imagine the good ones!

One little brave act begets another and another. Five stairs today, six tomorrow. A simple “I’m sorry” card today, the potential for a rekindled relationship next week. Those amazing photos you shared all over social media today get the attention of a fine arts dealer next month. Say “yes” to volunteer (yes, again!) and meet the most amazing mentor or confidant or supporter.

The possibilities of being a little brave today? Endless.



Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio


Daily Examination of Faults

As I put my head down at night I’m of the belief that my place on the planet is made better because I’ve cleared my conscious of my every fault. (Insert laugh track here).

I’ve been taught to ask/pray for forgiveness and poof, it is granted. Like some all powerful wizard waving a big magic wand with the admonition “go forth and do better next time girl.” It sounds too simplistic: A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card for Dummies.

Where’s the responsibility here?

In reality, I stop counting my faults (and flaws) after a dozen or so or I’d never sleep. If you’re anything like me, you are riddled with (decades long) guilt, shame, intolerance, fear, dilution, incompetence, gluttony — c’mon sistahs and brothas, pizza and chocolate are the fault line between pleasure and pain.

This daily examination is exhausting! But probably necessary. It doesn’t clean the slate but it does make us acutely aware of each day we are here. Our responsibility then is to live this awesome life, on purpose.

Today I find myself more in tune with my mortality. I refuse to waste an entire day mulling over some person or some thing out of my control. I’m okay dealing with shit within my cone of existence, but I’ve handed the Baton of Control to those who can handle it a whole lot better than me.

Our purpose here is to live an awesome life. It is given to us pure and whole, with great love and affection. And we do a very fine job fucking it up.

When we re-examine our faults the “collateral damage” shows on the faces of the people closest to us.

This daily check-in gives us a do-over. It’s a free pass with conditions, provisos and stipulations. You get to do it again but this time you know better so you are implored to do better.

And if you think you have nothing to fix, adjust or re-arrange, go back and look again. We’re human. We’re fallible. We mess up. A lot. And we can fix it.


Awesome Do-Over

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

One Day

One day you are born, and the entire world opens its arms to let you in…

One day you run and jump and play.
One day you sit and sulk and stare.

One day your spirits soar above the clouds.
One day your universe is broken into a million pieces.

One day you open your mind and learn something new and exciting.
One day you shut down; you know everything.

One day you form a hard opinion based on hearsay, innuendo and speculation.
One day your opinion is challenged by facts.

One day you carelessly judge a friend, relative or stranger.
One day you are carelessly persecuted by a friend, relative or stranger.

One day you dismiss someone as insignificant.
One day you are dismissed as trivial.

One day you fall madly in love and forget everyone around you.
One day your love slowly fades away and you are forgotten.

One day you are easily impressed.
One day you are quickly disappointed.

One day you feel lucky.
One day you feel cursed.

One day you feel blessed.
One day you feel targeted.

One day you feel healthy.
One day you feel deathly ill.

One day your mind is sharp and clear.
One day you have trouble remembering.

One day you are happy.
One day you want to curl up in a ball.

One day you’re on top of the world.
One day you are in the pit of despair.

One day you receive a wonderful gift.
One day you are the wonderful gift.

One day your heart is light.
One day your heart aches.

One day you feel free.
One day you feel stuck.

One day you are proud.
One day you are humiliated.

One day you blindly point the finger.
One day you are falsely accused.

One day you feel joy.
One day you feel turmoil.

One day you feel love.
One day you feel loveless.

One day you are strong and invincible.
One day you are weak and vulnerable.

One day you think you’ll live forever.
One day you face the reality of your mortality.

One day you die, and the entire world releases you and lets you go.

So much can happen in one day.



Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Be the Parent of You Be the Parent of You by Stephanie DelTorchio

How many times has the “adult” you pointed blame at your (elderly, or deceased) parents for your “adult” life’s shortcomings? (quotes intentional)

Let this one go away. Please. Besides it being in the past, the replay of your tirades and whining is annoying to everyone around you. Every word you utter and thought you circle over and over chips away at your health and happiness.

I mean, c’mon. We’re all grown-ups here. Whose childhood didn’t suck on some level? I didn’t get a brand new bike for Christmas. So what. Should I go back and sue my parents? When I reached high school, I got a job and understood the value of an earned dollar.  I bought a bike which I rode for over 25 years (yeah, it was a nice bike). I treated it like the prized possession it was to me.

Maybe your parents didn’t have the money for a new bike at Christmas. Or have friends to invite your family to their beach house. Perhaps their marriage lacked passion, or partnership and they hid their feelings from you; or you had a single parent who faced their fears of raising you alone.

Do you think your parents’ dreams, aspirations, goals and desires got put on hold a while because they were raising you? Surely your parents felt the pain of their flaws, inadequacies, fears. They too were misunderstood, judged, lonely, rejected, and ridiculed under the noses of their own parents, your dear sweet Granny and Grampy.

So you have this burden. This SOS (Sack of Shit) you’ve carried around since when? Fourth grade? And because why? You didn’t get a friggin’ pony?  You weren’t perched on a pedestal revolving under a white light 24 hours a day?

My parents had six kids and one income; I have three and two incomes. My worry is one-half minus one-half of theirs. I have no idea how they raised six kids into adulthood.

I’ll bet many parents, mine for sure, grappled each day with how to provide a balanced meal and electricity; your ego, however fragile and developing, nary a thought.

It’s a circle of life thing. And each generation tries to do better.

Here are three facts to consider:

You cannot change your childhood.
You cannot change your parents.
You certainly as hell can change your attitude.

And if you are a parent, please rip out the lesson(s) from your own parent’s playbook; the one(s) that sends you off the deep end, make you crazy and angry and grumble and complain.

Because sure as the sun rises and sets, your children will find something to hold a grudge against you someday. And worse of all you’ll be shocked and cry “Foul!” by the allegations.  All you did was try to provide for your children in the best way you could with the tools and knowledge and resources available. And however that is perceived twenty years down the road by your children is none of your business!

Today, forgive your parent(s) for whatever crap they did or did not do. Like it or not they got you here. Today, send a silent blessing to your parent(s) and offer a quick prayer of forgiveness. Get that monkey off your back once and for all.

Shut up. Grow up.

Today, be the parent of you. Nurture yourself. Inspire yourself. Encourage yourself.

Shower yourself with all the love, affection and adoration you didn’t get from them. Support your dreams, goals, desires without censorship; swing for the bleachers on this one. Go after whatever it is that speaks to you. Be to yourself what you wish had been given to you way back when.

Just stop pointing blame and using your parent(s) as the excuse for not making a good life for yourself. It’s stale.

You’re in charge now. Use today as the starting point. Get up. Wash your face. Be grateful for the day. Go get a damn pony if you want. Where your life goes from here is all on you.

Go BeF.A.T.

[Serious note here: If you indeed had parents who were truly abusive, I pray the collective Universe shines brightly upon you and heals the deep wounds that have been the source of your lifelong pain. I can never scratch the surface to begin to understand such betrayal of a parent to a child. Please do your very best to be good to you.]


Awesome REWIND

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

You’ve Always Had the Power

Today you might face a struggle. You question your strength to start, or continue. It’s a battle. Uphill. There are obstacles. Some you know are coming but have no idea around which corner you’ll trip and fall, or when.

It’s slow going, or worse, a step backwards. You ask: How long can I keep this up? When will it end? Will it get better?

I know it’s a simple movie line, but it’s incredibly powerful:

“You’ve always had the power,”

A confirmation statement that within you is all the strength, courage, fearlessness, tenacity and resources you need to overcome today.

And that’s a key, my friends. Today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Today.

When you realize that you only need to have the power to get through today, the huge burden you carry is a teeny tiny bit lighter. You don’t have to solve it or resolve it all.

ON THIS DAY, you have the power to make it. To figure out how to get from Point A to Point B in one piece with your sanity intact. You’ve always had the power. Use it.


Awesome POWER

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Eat Well. Exercise. Die Anyway.

Most days I am good to my body.

In a blender goes some spinach or kale, a clump of parsley, spoonful of avocado, a stalk of celery, filtered water and a scoop of green pea protein powder. I might do a few reps with hand weights to fight the underarm jiggles, or walk the beach, or ride the bike.

Eat Well. Exercise. Die Anyway.

Then there’s the other days. When I eat a chocolate-covered donut or anything fried. When the most exercise I get is throwing some clothes into a washing machine –- not exactly dragging them down to the river and beating them with a stone eh?

I’ll bet our ancestors didn’t count carbs or check their Fitbit or practice intermittent fasting. No…their regular day was packed with physical exercise: up at dawn, milking cows, tilling land, scrubbing clothes (with a stone??), chopping wood, etc. They ate what they grew and raised and slaughtered. Their daily focus was survival.

It’s doubtful I’d survive such a life. I’ve been domesticated, like some prairie animal. Television and magazines bombard me with ads for exercise equipment, creams, lotions, potions, medications to help me do this, or, God forbid, not do that!

I’ve made peace with getting older and my inconsistent eating and exercise patterns. I consider it a privilege to wake up. And I offer up gratitude every day my feet hit the floor. Sagging underarms, drooping lids, gray hairs and all.

It’s my obligation to enjoy my life. And not beat myself for eating half a bag of salty pretzels. And not doing 100 burpees. Tomorrow I’ll eat better and do some squats. Maybe.

Today I’m holding to the mantra I adopted a few years ago:


It’s going on a t-shirt. Because you can’t have too many t-shirts.


Awesome Tshirt
Awesome Self-Love

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

10 Things Never To Do Again

“Happiness is not a goal; it’s the by-product of a life well lived.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

time suckers 10 things to never do againI got to thinking about the things I really enjoy doing and why I don’t do them more often. For me these things revolve around relationships, travel, food (and yes that includes wine), and writing.

What do you enjoy? Do you find yourself skipping over the fun stuff because there’s just “not enough time”?

Unless you plan or schedule time to do those fun and interesting things, it’s easy to become a proverbial hamster on the wheel. The 24 hour cycle of daily life and minutia: work, cook, clean, meetings, appointments, kids, volunteer, etc. All those tasks fill up most of your days (and nights) and keep you in motion, but lead to a place called Not-Much-Fun-For-Me-Land.

A few years back I took a hard look at how I’d spent the previous few months. I made two lists:

#1 Time Suckers; all the ways I filled my days, and

#2 Things I Never Want to Do Again.

I learned that I’d wasted a lot of time, and pleasurable things happened much less than I realized.

to do list filled

Time Suckers:

  • Work
  • People
  • Volunteer/Committees/Appointments
  • Errands
  • Household tasks (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc.)
  • Standing/Waiting in line (for something/somebody)
  • Shopping
  • Watching television
  • Mindless reading
  • Mindless computer/internet surfing/playing
  • And a few other G-rated time suckers I’m embarrassed to list.

Someday…when the Prince of my dreams…

I’m ordinary, not royalty, so until I marry a Prince and inherit his kingdom, this is my life. Some items are necessary of course. And most of those Time Suckers actually bring me joy. But I knew that with a conscious shift in scheduling, the fat could be cut to make more time for the good stuff.

The Time Sucker list was the easy part. Just by lowering my self-imposed housecleaning standards, a fair amount of time opened up. My new motto: There is an acceptable amount of dog hair I can live with.

Just like any fat cutting diet, you will have withdrawal symptoms. I needed to agree with myself that getting rid of Time Suckers made me leaner, i.e. to do the things that really matter.

I hacked away at the list by consolidating tasks and shutting off the television. Then something big happened. I shifted from seeing my life as a fixed list of time sucking To Dos to the creation of a mini-manifesto:

10 Things I Never Want To Do Again

1. Work for someone on the 9 to 5 clock.

There are plenty of employment opportunities that don’t require a gatekeeper or time clock.

2. Work with people who don’t have a passion for the work we share.

Together we can move mountains, or furniture!

3. Work only for the money.

Money brings financial security but I’ve met plenty of miserable wealthy people.

4. Miss an opportunity to be with my family or friends.

A recital, ballgame or a dear friend just passing through town can never be bought back.

5. Excuse an opportunity to help someone.

There’s always someone worse off. We’re on this planet to help each other.

6. Miss the chance to travel.

The view is only so wide from my front porch.

7. Associate with crazy people.

This includes the mean-spirited, egocentric, selfish, angry, gossiping, vengeful, spiteful, unkind, or paranoid. For the record, I’ve been all of them and don’t ever want to be one again.

8. Wait in line or for an appointment longer than required for the intended purpose.

Or make someone wait for me. Unless I got a flat tire on the way, it’s rude, arrogant and thoughtless to be late.

9. Be afraid to try something new.

And do it anyway. Not on a dare, but because I know it might be fun or provide real growth.

10. Take my mental or physical health for granted.

Be mindful that both need constant care and attention.

Writing this kind of list requires you to be a bit selfish, but, it’s your life, right?

Start simple

Listing 10 things you never want to do again is fairly easy. Putting your 10 things into practice is hard. Not everyone is going to be a fan of your list. And because you say “never want to do” doesn’t mean you never will. Let’s call this a lifetime achievement goal in the making.

I’m a big believer in starting small by doing ONE THING. Take a first step without becoming overwhelmed with an exhaustive list. Start with one thing you never want to do again in order to give you back some time to do something that truly makes you happy and adds quality to your life.

Write it down. Stick it on the fridge.

I never want to (THIS ONE THING) again in order to (THIS ONE THING) more often.

In the end, we are all looking to live a happy life, right? Make your lists. Please share at least ONE THING to encourage others to do the same.

Eliminate your Time Suckers to gain the time to do one thing that makes you happy.


Awesome Life
Awesome Choice

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

All Treats, No Tricks

Whether you shut out the lights and pretend you’re not home (Halloween humbug, really? ) or host or attend a Halloween party, here are a few ways to Treat yourself sometime today (or maybe tomorrow!).

  1. Take a long hot bath. Go all in with bubbles or a book or a glass of wine. Here’s 5 reasons why it’s better than
  1. Get a massage. Relieve your week’s worth of stress, get the kinks out, and let your mind travel far, far away. More than a good feel! Closeup photo of massage of female back
  1. Take a road trip alone, preferably with the music turned way up. Start by taking a drive around your own city or town. Amazing what you might see when you’re not focused on getting to the
  1. Ditch the candy (you’ll just hate yourself in the morning anyway) and have a glass of wine, or coffee (they’re both getting rave health benefit reviews). By the way, chocolate isn’t so terrible. Blogger divinecaroline says it’s good for your hair.

Chocolate isolated on white background.

If you plan to attend a Halloween Bash, or two, here are some great Halloween Pun Costume ideas. My thinking is if you have to explain the pun, give up: Put on a white sheet and cut out two holes for your eyes.Taco Bell, pun Costume. All Treats, No Tricks. www.befat.netBE F-G AWESOME TODAY!

Sources: Consumer Reports,, Travel Soul Therapy, Best Health Magazine/Canada,, Pinterest.

Awesome Celebration
Awesome Self-Love
Awesome Holiday