Be F-ing Awesome Today | Page 2 of 49 |No B.S. Inspiration & Motivation for Time-Crunched Humans google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html
Believe In Self-Made Magic
Keep On Truckin’
Borders, Boundaries, Fences and Locks
Outwit The Time Bandits
Time Is Running Out But Don’t Hurry
Control Freaks Not Wanted
When Nothing’s Funny Order The Lobster
Release The Albatross Around Your Neck
I Spy With My Little Eye…A Mirage
Be F.A.T. Inspiration For Newbies

Believe In Self-Made Magic

Believe in magic quote.jpg

Magic isn’t stuff of movies, sleight of hand trickery or for children at Christmastime. Fascinating, enchanting and spellbinding opportunities circle around you every day. Trouble is we believe it’s there for other people, not us.

To that we say POPPYCOCK! (A proper British term meaning “bullshit“).

When we take a break from our daily bread of murmuring, whining and complaining, the silliest of things can appear magical. The hints show up in the craziest places too. In quiet whispers or banging drums. In rustling leaves or ocean waves. Often IN YOUR FACE.

But only if you wipe away the skepticism. Stop the self-pity behavior. Release the anchors holding you in place.

By burying your face in your hands you can’t possibly see the world moving around you and all the goodness passing by you. And eventually you’ll get light-headed and pass out.

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Keep On Truckin’

Don't focus on what went wrong Focus on making it work inspiration.jpg

Is there anything worse than being derailed on the way to paradise?

You’re driving along, having a nice ride through beautiful vistas and valleys, road map in hand, headed for a destination you’ve been dreaming about and planning — for weeks or months — when WHAM!

Flat freakin’ tire.

This was not the plan. This is NEVER the plan.

Your perfect getaway itinerary was set in stone.

Not once in all the preparations did you make provision for detours or delays or bad luck.

No one (mostly no one) expects that you’ll be forced to wobble away to the breakdown lane like injured roadkill.

A flat tire is a temporary setback. If you’ve got a decent spare in the trunk and the know-how to fix it, it’s not a big deal. Sure you lose a bit of time, utter a few curse words, but no real harm’s done.

But what if you find yourself stranded in the middle of God damn nowhere? Without a spare. Out of cell phone or GPS range. Maybe night is falling.

The stakes are raised a bit.

Besides putting a slight cramp on getting to your destination as expected, a lengthy stop often incites chaos among the passengers.

Fingers point. Blame is laid. Tempers flare.

Somebody ALWAYS needs to pee.

Isn’t day-to-day life like this?

You start off with a perfect agenda — the right man/woman of your dreams, career path in your chosen field, excellent robust health, well-behaved children, loving extended family — and then without notice, things go flat.

You don’t necessarily have alternate options for a bad marriage, company lay-off, cancer diagnosis, troubled teen or family arguments. Most times you’re blindsided by shit flying off the back of a truck. Then you have two options:

  1. If you’re quick, zigzag the hell out of the way
  2. If you’re panicked, hit it dead on (risk a flat, or worse)

Sometimes you must not look back on what just went wrong. In some cases you might need to ride with the flat along the shoulder longer than you’d like, and ease your way into the closest available rest stop. Hopefully they serve hot coffee. Or cocktails.

Often it’s better and more productive to focus on making the situation work. You can try pleading and compromising and sweet treats, but understand that despite all your efforts to change the damn tire, not everything is 100% fixable.

It’s up to you whether you spring for a new tire or keep riding with a flat.

The point is to get back on the road and just keep truckin’.


Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Photo credit: Will Langenberg on Unsplash



Borders, Boundaries, Fences and Locks

Borders, Boundaries, Fences and Locks.jpg

Creating boundaries.

Every once in a while you make yourself feel safe by creating invisible borders, imaginary boundary lines or even building a physical fence to keep others out. Here’s the problem: None of those do squat to stop a persistent person (or pesky critters for that matter) from crossing the line.

Locks as such were invented to keep honest people honest. With few exceptions (locksmiths, thieves, panicked parents) we’re not going to pick the lock to get in. Most of us are respectful and observant enough to see the fence, “feel” the cold hard line, and then walk away.

Sure sometimes we need to feel the safety we (think) we’ve created. To be left alone. To avoid confrontation. To forbid those who’ve hurt or threatened us to stay far far away.

There are times that the only way to protect yourself so that you can move forward (or mourn or reflect or think) is to shut out the world.

But if we’re on the “other side of the fence” trying to get in, we can only hope that some day you’ll leave the key under the door mat.



Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Photo credit:Jason Blackeye on Unsplash


Outwit The Time Bandits

Cartoon of thief stealing your time.jpg

One day you look in the mirror and see this older version of yourself and wonder: When did the time bandits break in and enter my life and steal all the years?


For me it’s more like: “Who the hell are you, and what did you do with the young gal who used to live here?” stop-wasting-time

A wise person sees beyond the obvious —wrinkles, spots, sagging — and assesses below the skin surface. You understand the truth: it is a privilege to age.

Time is both an enemy and a friend.

You buy the creams and lotions in hopes of salvaging (or warding off) the inevitable, of course, but you’re also quite conscious of the time stamp on your life.

Maybe reality hits and today’s the day you start taking inventory, asking:

Have I done what I’ve wanted to do in this life?

Am I satisfied with the path I’ve taken or choices made?

Have I reached out and stretched and challenged myself to discover my potential?

Fulfilled my wildest dreams?

Am I making the best use of the time I have left?

Have I let the cat back in? Fluffy!??

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Time Is Running Out But Don’t Hurry

Do more of what makes you awesome.jpg

Hurrying through is not the antidote for finishing on time.

What you end up with is usually sub-par.

It’s true when making a chocolate souffle for a special dinner. And it’s true in living your life.

Be aware that time is a commodity. But don’t hurry it along or you’ll miss the good stuff. And end up with a flat souffle.


Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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Control Freaks Not Wanted

Cartoon quote: A CONTROL FREAK has an over-inflated EGO. Shut up and trust me. I'm smarter, better and know more.jpg

At some point in life maybe you’ve either been a control freak or have come across this breed of human — a supercharged ego who dictates how things are to be done. control freaks inspirational motivational

You know the type.

They can’t quite let anyone else do anything because they’re better, smarter, stronger, more capable…the list of their superiority is never-ending. Just ask them.

Growing up we called my father a little dictator (control freak), behind his back of course.

In his defense, he dealt every day with a gaggle of kids in a tiny house, sort of like a pilot cooped up in a plane at 30,000 feet…no where to go, no lock on the cockpit door, and hearing from the flight attendant that there’s a riot in 27B because somebody just took the last snack box.

My experience has shown these freaks crave control like a street drug. Often obsessive, angry, phobic and mood-swingy men and women, you’re never sure exactly what will set them off.

Not the kind of people you want to challenge to a game of, say, Monopoly.

My father was always “The Bank” because apparently none of his children owned enough toes to give the correct change. During a good game he’d buy up the majority of properties and grin over his stack of $500 bills. When he was on the verge of losing (to a kid who owned Park Place AND Boardwalk WITH hotels) the game board and pieces suddenly were overtaken by a rogue tornado.

They are gloating winners. And worse, poor losers. control freaks inspirational motivational

Getting older didn’t make dealing with control freaks any easier.

Towards the end of a contract job, after spending months dealing daily with a longtime card carrying member of the control freak club, I began to treat each day as if I were a contestant on a game show. It made the finale bearable and mildly entertaining.

“Welcome to the show…who is the guest host today?” I’d say this to myself before entering the building because I never knew which personality disorder would show up.

My supervisor had given me a lengthy to-do list. When I presented the finished product, along with the checked off list, he meticulously reviewed it in front of me. Then I was asked whether I’d completed a task NOT ON THE LIST.

“Never mind. I’ll do it myself,” he said and walked away.

At that moment I felt like I’d landed in JAIL. Do not pass GO. Do not collect your $200.

Psychologists, I’m guessing, have had a field day studying the control freak personality. No matter the psychological or chemical imbalances, their explanations do nothing to help we mortals to fend off the”crazies”.

Control freaks can’t admit they’ve done anything wrong. Ever.

They’re often delusional. Think: The Emperor’s New Clothes.

They’re zealots.

They’re humorless.

But as long as they stay far, far away, it’s rather amusing to watch them self-destruct.

When they do, they’ll point to everybody else in the room because control freaks don’t make mistakes. Or accept responsibility, unless they’ve stopped a tornado in its tracks. And they’ll hold a company-wide meeting or press conference to tell you how great they handled the situation.

Here's a fun fact...people don't always do what you tell them to do.jpg

We’ve all heard the lines:

“It’s a good thing I’m here to make this place run.”

Yes, it must be a tough burden to carry a building, a country or an ego that large.

“I will do it myself because everybody here is incompetent.”

If this isn’t said out loud, it’s pretty clear by the eye stares and the stupid notes they write, who’s the truly incompetent party.

“I’m the best there is at this (or that).” control freaks inspirational motivational

When you’re the best, it’s clear I can’t compete with this (or that). So I won’t (or don’t).

It’s funny to be around a control freak when so much of life is clearly out of anyone’s control. The next time one of them stops a tsunami or produces a correct drive thru order, I’ll be first in line to kiss feet.

I’m sure there are ways to combat these people but it’s a futile effort and I’m too tired to try.

I spent years as one myself. Mostly in my home. Because I did EVERYTHING better than everybody. Actually, I did everything. Not better. I just did it. The laundry, the dishes, food shopping, doggie duty…it’s what mothers do, right? So for brief periods in life being a control freak makes the system work. For real.

If a control freak can get to the point of giving up control, their life would become much calmer, at least for the people within hearing range. But calm seems to be the anti-thesis of their existence. Creating chaos and controlling that chaos is how they earn their stripes.

Hey control freaks, guess what?

If you don’t do it someone else will.

Maybe not like you.

Maybe better.

Until then, clear the runway folks. It’s going to be a bumpy landing.


Other posts you might like:

Your flaws are nobody’s business

The hard way to change your life

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Control freak cartoon quote.jpg

When Nothing’s Funny Order The Lobster

Cartoon of man ready to eat a lobster.jpg

Menu for day one: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth. cancer humor

Menu for day two: Over cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and beef broth.

With a little variety — fried pork and canned cling peaches — these were the basic food choices for my husband for the 100 days following his bone marrow transplant. Restricted foods included fresh fruits and fresh vegetables, raw foods, milk products, medium cooked meats, seafood…pretty much anything not canned or cooked to death was off the list.

How many days would it take you to fling the hospital food tray across the room (assuming you had the strength to do it)?

After a few days of the repetitive, boring, “petrified food menu” my husband chose to order the lobster.

This went over big with the food service staff.

Let me back up a minute:

There are (too) many times in life when it’s tough to find something to laugh about.

Nothing’s funny about a cancer diagnosis, or the treatment protocols. Or for that matter, attending funerals for family and friends. Or being the victim of natural disasters…or any of the hundreds of crappy twists and turns that can happen in your life.

Lucky for us humans we have the gift of humor and laughter. No other creature shares the same level of ability to be entertained by stupid things.

Life can lead you through a battlefield, where you find yourself ill-equipped to protect yourself. Often finding the humor, especially during the most difficult times, is good medicine no doctor can prescribe. The ability to laugh when nothing’s funny is your radical self-care weapon.

It’s that defiant, in-your-face, lighthearted attitude that just might be the defense to carry you through toughest circumstances.

 Laughter is spiritual warfare.jpg

Back to the lobster…

My super smart husband figured out how to order dinner “off the menu.”

The hospital used a scan card system where the patient filled in the circle next to the desired limited choices. One day, when my husband seemed especially weak, I read the food items out loud and asked him to choose.

“Give me that card,” he said. “I’m cooped up here (in isolation) for six weeks. Filling that out is the highlight of my day!”

Never attempt to separate a man from his menu…

Later that evening a sweet young girl arrived with his meal. She was covered head to toe with protective clothing; only her eyes were exposed, and they were smiling.

“We enjoyed your menu selection today, Mr. DelTorchio.” She giggled, placing his tray of over-cooked chicken nuggets, canned peas and fried potatoes in front of him. “Can’t wait to see what you order tomorrow.”

Once she left he showed me his scan card.

He knew that by scribbling on the face of the card the scanning machine couldn’t “read” it. A real person was required to manually do something with the rejects.

“What did you do?” I asked.

He turned the card over and read while crunching his nuggets:

“Baked stuffed lobster…

Baked potato with butter and sour cream..

Caesar Salad…


Coffee milkshake…

Strawberry Shortcake.”

On day 100, recovering at home, our children helped make a baked stuffed lobster, stuffed with a second lobster. On the side we served a loaded baked potato and salad. For dessert? Ice-cream sundaes for everybody.

Nothing funny about that.


Other posts you might like:

When the word of the day is challenge

Chocolate and hugs heal everything

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Laughter is spiritual warfare quote.jpg



Release The Albatross Around Your Neck

Alan Cohen quote:View the past as your enemy, and it will be an Albatross. View it as your friend, and it will give you wings.jpg

Number One: We’ve all done things we’re not necessarily proud of. inspiration freedom

Number Two: Whatever you call them — errors, sins, poor judgements, misdeeds, crimes — what’s the freakin’ pride in carrying them year after year? inspiration freedom

I’m tired already of doing this like it’s my job. Not to mention my back isn’t as strong or limber as it once was to shoulder such a heavy load until the end of my days. Hopefully, you’re with me on this one.

The origin of the phrase

The phrase “an albatross around your neck” alludes to Samuel Taylor Coleridge ‘s poem “ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” in which a sailor who shoots a friendly albatross (a large sea bird) with a crossbow, is forced to wear its carcass around his neck as punishment.

In more modern interpretations, it’s meant to symbolize the crap we carry as a badge of penance. Oh the drama…

Stop torturing yourself

I’m thinking had I forgiven myself for all my “stuff” years ago, I’d be tall enough to play in the WNBA as a point guard. Instead, on tippy toes, I barely pass the marked sign: “You need to be THIS TALL to ride the rollercoaster.” (Post: Real life moves up and down)

So when is it the right time to release yourself from the yoke of past transgressions and carry on with your one beautiful life?

Probably yesterday. inspiration freedom

The view from the world

It’s doubtful you’ve ever killed an albatross with a crossbow, but something you did has caused you to shoulder a heavy burden. In this lifetime it’s impossible to keep your nose out of trouble. And your mouth shut.

The outward signs of the stigma or shame hold you down. You aren’t light enough to take flight. And the people close to you see your everyday struggle.

What if you skew your perception of the old Albatross?

Albatross Quote: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.jpg

Rather than clinging to it, accept it.

Own it.

Atone for it. T

hen let it the frig go.

And by the way: The onus is on you. Nobody can do it for you. So don’t ask.

Give your albatross freedom

Treat the burdens you’ve chosen to lug around as a friend; someone who looks to you for help and a hug and a glass (or bottle) of wine.

As freely as you’d give dear friends compassion, understanding and a pass for her actions, be as kind and generous to yourself.

Remember, at the time you committed these acts, you did so with the collective wisdom you had to date. To hang on to something from your 20s or 30s, or whenever, with all your present day sense and faculties is ridiculous.

If you knew better then you would have done better. You didn’t know. You fucked up.

But you’re experienced now.

You know better than to lie and steal and leave bags of flaming dog poop at someone’s doorstep. At least we hope you do.

Your personal albatross is the permission slip YOU write.

To stay stuck and weighted down is pure self-torture.

It’s not a pretty sight okay?

Carrying the albatross stymies progress and growth and limits opportunities. If you move at all, it is with the foresight of a sloth.

Release the dead carcass. Release the burdens you’ve shouldered. Release yourself from under the weight of what no longer serves any purpose — as if it ever did.

Step up. Stand straight. You ARE tall enough to ride.


Other posts you might like:

Please forgive yourself today

10 Posts on self-love

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

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I Spy With My Little Eye…A Mirage

life quote.jpg

A mirage is an optical effect where an object in the distance appears as a mirror or water.

We’ve all seen movies where a person stranded in the desert is in desperate need of water. Hovering above the horizon he “sees” a lifesaving pool. With their last once of energy the person crawls toward the vision.

Why is it never chocolate cake?inspirational motivational quote

Some days we see what we want or need to see.

Lawrence of Arabia.jpg

Omar Sharif rides his horse through a mirage in his opening scene of Lawrence of Arabia. Photo source: Columbia Pictures.

In the children’s game I SPY you try to guess what the other person sees.

We were four adults entertaining a group of children by “spying” and guessing various objects while waiting for a restaurant table.

“I Spy with my little eye…” Each child said this while looking directly at the object, which made the game, well…easy.

Except for one child.

“I Spy something gray…,” said the precocious four year old looking all around, giving nothing away.

Every guess from the adults and older kids ended with a proud “nope.”

By the time our table was ready we’d exhausted every object we could see.

Proudly, the youngest player pointed to my husband’s cropped gray hair.

We were looking “out there” — at mirages. The winner focused on what was right in front of her.

Looking too far ahead is a double-edged sword.inspirational motivational quote

Done as part of a long term strategy, such as having a retirement plan, is prudent. A bucket list vacation that takes serious planning provides fun and a carrot-at-the-end-of-a-stick kind of excitement.

Although it’s good to have something to look forward to in the future, these items should run in the background of every day living.

All that is gold does not glitter.jpgHaving an eye “out there” wastes time “here”.

In the moment, making rash decisions or wild guesses or heading for a mirage seems like a good idea.

Sometimes the present isn’t pleasant. When we can’t or don’t want to confront it or take helpful action it’s easier to abort.

Crawling in the direction of what we think will be a lifesaver could have the opposite effect.

The thing is, often the best approach to survival (and winning at I SPY) is to pay attention to what’s in front of you. “Out there” is okay for planning or adventure but not as a day to day living plan.

The journey is real.

Seize the moments of this day because they won’t come around again.

Depending on the day you’re having you may hope and pray for the sun to go down. 🙂 Or maybe the day is so unbelievably magical you don’t want it to end. Either way, it’s a piece of your path.

So compelling is the desire for what’s “out there” that we’re willing to forgo what’s in front of us — real or imagined — to get to it.

It’s okay to look up at the horizon. Just be wary of making the far away destination your only goal. Its view changes as you walk towards it. Sometimes better. Sometimes not so much.

You guys, mirages are acceptable if you’re lost in the desert and in search of water. Otherwise, look closer.  “I Spy with my little eye..something chocolate.” inspirational motivational quote


Other posts you might like:

What Happens When You Live Day By Day

It’s Your Path

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio








Be F.A.T. Inspiration For Newbies

My Wish For You Rascal Flatts lyrics.jpg

Some of you have been on this BE F.A.T. journey with me for a while. Thanks for staying when there are lots of options out there. Humor me a minute okay? There are new people checking out this site and I’d like your help in crafting our BE F.A.T. message. How I see it and how YOU see it could be as far as the east is from the west. inspiration motivation humor blog

My daughter says that the “F” word is wide open to interpretation. It means something different to every reader — Fabulous, Fantastic, Free, Forgiving, etc. True?

If you don’t want to read the text there’s an audio link option. It’s my first attempt at trying this. I’m way out of my comfort zone making a recording, but what the hell right? My dog kept looking at me, like, “you talking to me?”

I’d appreciate your feedback on where we go from here together. Please leave a comment.


(Audio Version of Welcome message…I could have been less serious…)

A message to our new friends:

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