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It’s Time To Live BIGLY

FUNNY QUOTE: Bigly* pronounced: big-lee. An adverb meaning to do it in a big way. *It's a real word. I know, right? Me too.

Constantin Stanislavski, a Russian stage actor and director, remarked that “there are no small parts, only small actors.” The meaning as it pertains to your life is easily transferred: You were not created to live playing small. Even in your select little world you get to choose to play the lead actor. live bigly

However, every moment you waste rolling over all the shouldas, wouldas or couldas in your head takes away from doing shit that matters.

Time is your most valuable commodity, and it’s running out. The kicker is that you have no idea when the end buzzer will go off. So the question then becomes: “How do you suck it in for all it’s worth for as long as you can?” The short answer is, no matter where you are in life, “Live BIGLY.”

“BIGLY” is a silly archaic word that’s made its way back into the daily conversation.

My father used words that sounded like a cross between Pig-Latin and Italian curse. He’d “sell” them as a root word with European origin. I’m certain BIGLY was one of them. We’ll let it go at that, okay?

But in a twisted way “BIGLY” perfectly sums up the way we should live our lives.


Excluding the belief in reincarnation — I think my dog could be my mother  — you only get this one chance to live the life in front of you. It’s up to you to take some chances, a few risks but you must step outside your front door.

Yes, life presents some serious flaws. Not everybody gets a fair shake. We’re not all born royals.

Some people only know poverty.

Some live with lifelong disabilities.

Many have no clout or connections or mentors.

Others were born addicted.

At the “wrong” time.

To the “wrong” parents.

In the “wrong” country.

The list goes on.

Okay, can we agree we’re plopped on this Earth with certain baggage and goods? Fine.

Tell that to the people who despite being born with perceived disadvantages succeed in business and politics and industry. Tell that to the people destroyed — physically and emotionally — who turn their personal trials into a movement for good.

You’re given the chance at life. For better or worse, if it’s not what you want it to be, change it.


“When all else fails, reboot.”

We’re familiar with the term for when your computer freezes up or starts acting weird.

Don’t you wish sometimes life came with its own reboot button? When nothing is going right or you feel stuck in a holding pattern, you simply press the button, wait a few minutes and you’re back to a refreshed you.

It happens to everyone. The feeling of something not going the way you’d planned. How do you tell, and how to do get back on track?

Signs you might need to reboot: live bigly

You don’t sleep well.

You abuse your body in many ways. Eat crap. Drink too much alcohol, caffeine or soft drinks. Smoke. Take drugs (illegal and prescribed). Veg out on the couch all day.

You’re “unhappy” or lethargic; in a funky mood for long stretches.

You hate getting out of bed.

You want to be left alone.

People who are still talking to you start asking: “What’s wrong with you?” In nice and not so subtle ways.

(Disclosure: Seek professional help if you need it.)

This is for the person who is completely aware that they alone have fucked up their life, and they alone must fix it.

Get back on track live bigly

You already know what to do.

  1. If you’re sitting in front of the television more hours per day than you are physically moving, stop doing that.
  2. Throw out all the Twinkies, chips, soda, and whatever snack pack and frozen sugar-free “treats” you substitute for food and eat something real, preferably with a shelf life less than soap.
  3. Get over yourself and reach out to someone who will appreciate a helping hand. There’s no room for you to feel stuck when you’re spooning mashed potatoes onto the plate of a homeless family in a soup kitchen line.
  4. Remember what once made you feel happy and alive. Go find it. And do it again.
  5. Do some tough talking to yourself. When you need to restart, say it out loud: “I’m not friggin’ spending another day doing (fill in the blank)”.

When you’re “in a mood” and need to start again, press the reboot button. Sabotaging yourself defeats the goal to live BIGLY.

DO IT AFRAID live bigly

Is this you? You make a decision to do something and just before it’s time to take the leap you chicken out.

It’s easy to justify fear.

Here’s the old, playing small you:

You’re afraid to accept a date because you fear being hurt again.

You don’t apply for a job after reading the description because you feel unqualified.

You want to join a new group but fear not fitting in.

When you use fear as the excuse, you miss out on possibilities. Trouble is that you have internal conversations — playing both roles in the convo — until one of you talks the other out of doing something!

But you’re going to live BIGLY right?

To do this, give your self-talk a positive boost.

About a potential date: This person shares an interest in travel, like me. I’ll accept a date knowing that we’ll talk about places we’ve been and places I still on my list to visit.

About a potential job: This job seems like a good career opportunity. I don’t meet all of the posted qualifications, but I have other transferable skills and experience in this field to offer a new employer.

About joining a new group: I’m excited to meet new people and make new friends with people of like mind. I’ll make it my goal to connect with at least one person.

Now do this: With your hand reach in behind you and feel for your backbone. That boney thing is called your spine. See? You DO have one. Use it.


You can be famous or infamous, even in your small world.

My maternal grandfather was not famous. But in my corner of the planet he remains infamous for the power he held over my parents. His grandchildren were his pride and joy, and no one, including my parents, would overrule him. Even as little kids we used this knowledge to our advantage.

We were lucky to live in the house next door, a few feet away. A gate connected the two properties although it always remained opened. When my father flew off the handle over some goofy thing kids do, we’d run to grandpa’s. His arms squeezed around our little shaking bodies, calming the non-existent threat coming from the other side of the fence. He’d dry our tears with a handkerchief pulled from his back pocket, smelling like Old Spice and unfiltered Camel cigarettes. Together we walked hand in hand to the corner store to buy ice-cream cones.

Skipping back up the sidewalk, licking our treats, we spotted my father standing in front of the dining room picture window. His arms were folded across his chest; the sneer most likely not as horrible as I imagined.

Grandpa played it cool: “Don’t look at him,” he said. And then he’d make us sing “What a wonderful grandpa!” which we repeated over and over all the way up his walkway while my dad watched.

I can’t recall how many times I’ve told people this story. It seems like there were endless ice-cream cones and skips up the street, but probably not. My dad and I laughed about it often over the years.

“It was just your grandpa,” he said, “living BIGLY.”


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Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio




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