Why Happily Ever After Is Irrational | Be F-ing Awesome Today google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

Why Happily Ever After Is Irrational

happiness-ever-after-quote.jpg Happily ever after is overrated and irrational. Happiness doesn’t come AFTER anything. It’s in the moment of this day. By any measure it’s the only thing you can count on for sure. And it’s all within your reach.

Often happiness is felt at the end of an achievement, say, accepting a diploma, award, climbing a mountain. Or a relationship (hello, Prince Charming.) Sometimes it’s the acquisition of “things” that make us happy — red Ferrari anyone?

These are real moments of happiness, certainly, but the less flashy moments are often the most pure.

A colorful sunset with or without Cabernet. (with)

A summer’s eve breeze against the back of your legs as you walk along the beach.

The small hand of a child enveloped in yours skipping and humming along through freshly mowed grass.

Joy, contentment, a sense of peace and well-being. Happiness.

For you, perhaps happiness is an elusive fantasy. Seemingly the birth right of others but just not you. At least not right now. Maybe you had it once but somewhere it got lost.

But it’s there for you. In the open. Waiting for your willing soul to put aside whatever hurts or offenses or disappointments sent your happiness away. Seize the moment and take it back again.

Happiness isn’t hiding under a rock or behind a mask or in a mail order catalog. Well…there are some happy things in that Restoration Hardware catalog…

Happiness is a goal within your power. And like many goals, happiness sits between motivation and inspiration.

To be happy you must want to be happy.

Get off your ass, please.

Wash your face.

Go outside.

You must actively pursue happiness.

As a child you likely heard stories of fairy dust and unicorns and princes on white horses, and thought, HELL YEAH, unicorns!

“For the record, the story books got it wrong. No one is coming to rescue you. Should you need rescuing get a dog.”

You fell asleep believing your future was all set in some mystical and magical world. The castle on the mountaintop and the charming “soulmate” but a village away. Two days on foot, at most.

You only needed to dress pretty, be thrown into a coma, and bide your time until HE arrived.


So what happened?

You woke up and became an adult and the smack of reality hit hard.

Maybe one day after a string of happy days you realized that you weren’t happy. Not in your relationships. Not in your career. Not with your thighs.

This throws a wrench in the whole happiness thing. You wonder if the black cloud really IS following you around. You want to smack the smile off the faces of happy people.

Shush…Tighten your corset.

Happily ever after exists. However there’s a twist written in the fine print at the bottom of the page that you should (pull out the cheaters to) read.

Happiness is entirely self-made.



Conditional happiness relies on other people and “stuff” to satisfy your moments. Sure shiny bling makes you happy, but not HAPPY. And once the bling loses its glitter then what? When that gal/guy become less wonderful and more irritation you try another. You seek another quick fix to feel “happy”.

Happiness doesn’t rest on people and objects. It’s a state of mind; a state of being.

See the difference?

Now don’t smack your mama for reading fairy tale rubbish to you. She fulfilled her obligation to stuff your head with the same dependent victim thinking that’s been around for centuries. Chances are good YOU read the same stories to your children. I did it too.

Fantasies and fairy tales are fun, sure, but at some point we wise up. The whole happiness ever after thing is in our hands.

This is true not just in love but every area of life.

The bottom line is: You are responsible for creating your happiness. If you want to live in a freakin’ castle, start collecting stones and learn construction.

Princes and unicorns are extra. But, unicorns! Right?


Other posts you might like:

Get Your Own Fucking Pony

Moments That Seize Us

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio









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