13 Really Good Dream Killing Excuses - Stephanie DelTorchio google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

13 Really Good Dream Killing Excuses

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Label it by any name you wish — calling, desire, goal, dream, passion, destiny, wish, urge, bucket list — but in order to even taste it, you need to start.

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

Yet we humans are very good at coming up with excuses that prevent us from finding the pot of gold at the end of our own rainbow.

What’s Your Excuse Today?

Think of an excuse you use any time you’re asked about that thing you want to do. Hold it for a second in your mind. Then really think about why you fall back on it. Again and again.

Is it not enough time?

Do you feel opportunities have passed by?

Are you afraid to leave the stability of a shitty job to pursue that thing?

Some excuses can be justified.

Others are self-made roadblocks.

I wanted to write fiction and screenplays and stories since I was twelve years old. I dabbled for years but never produced work that felt worthy of it being put out in the world. You with me yet?

My pockets were stuffed with excuses. Like:

No talent.

No time.

No money.

No education.

No support.

A few very valid and legit ones came later — little kids, a sick spouse — but even those eventually worked themselves out. The kids grew up. My spouse got better. But the other nagging excuses were just a crutch I’d built all by myself. A semi-solid place to lean against when I needed another excuse for not doing that thing I always wanted to do.

Along came the fear

Of everything.

And of “them”.

You know those people. The silent peanut gallery you worry will judge and criticize and condemn the thing that’s been burning a hole in your belly since you could tie your own shoes. And you give that excuse an enormous amount of authority and power.

Time to face reality

At some point you’ll get tired of hearing your own excuses. The outsider noise will fade. You feel the ticking clock of time in the distance, or closer. Because on one day, maybe when you least expect it…POOF! you’re gone. And so is the dream.

You’ve decided that now is the time to get serious about this thing if you’re ever going to make it happen.

So you counter each excuse with positive self-talk or a good slap upside the head. Whatever motivates you to action.

 

If you recognize yourself in any of these excuses, now is as good a time as any to talk yourself out of it and do something.

You’ll have no regrets later for trying. And we’ll be happy you gave it a whirl.

 

1. I don’t feel well

There’s sick, and then there’s really sick. But an ache or sniffle shouldn’t stop you from making progress. Grab a box of tissues, a bandage or drink a hot toddy. Get over the temporary or nuisance condition and charge ahead. Plenty of people with illnesses a million times worse than your head cold have done some brilliant things.

 

2. Family comes first, right?

Most of us put the people we love above our own needs. Feed them something easy one night a week and use that hour for you. Lock yourself in the bathroom or basement if you must. If you can finagle a night or weekend away to focus, do it. Your family will survive quite well without you. Happy you, happy family.

3. Deeply rooted in a career

Maybe you still have student loans from way back. Or you’ve spent fifteen years in the law firm. Or you’re an important person in the family’s business.

The question becomes, are you neck high in something that doesn’t fulfill you? You grapple with how to separate yourself after so long in the same place.

Try to do your thing as a side hustle or pet project until it shows promise. If you find that it’s exactly where you need to be, then decide to pull the weeds and plant something new. Don’t rot on the vine.

 

4. Nobody “gets” anybody

We’re all misunderstood. This is a lame excuse. Stop trying to sell your thing to anybody. You don’t need a majority vote to do what makes you happy.

 

5. A job is a means to an end

You can flip burgers, drive a cab, teach preschool, own a landscape business or perform brain surgery. To a greater or lesser degree, it really doesn’t matter. Each “job” will feed you and pay the bills. But if you’re miserable, it’s time to reconsider how you put bread on your table. If your thing gnaws at you, forget the job. Maybe you’ll eat Ramen noodles for a while. You’ve probably survived on less.

 

6. An unimpressive resume

In the last month alone, four managers expressed to me that the least important part of hiring process was the length and breadth of a candidate’s resume. Without exception each said that they wanted to know two things about you: Whether you can do the work, and if your personality fits with the team. Not much different than grade school: Do your work. Play nice with others.

No doubt you have transferable skills and life experiences that more than make up for a fancy piece of paper.

 

7. Motivational deficiency disorder

Okay, barring any medical issues, laziness is a poor excuse for doing nothing.

When you were six you verbalized it this way: “Whah, whah, whah…But I don’t want to.” Now you’re a grown-up. Curb your nonproductive deficiency by getting off the couch. Remind yourself of that little spark you once had. Get off your ass and go find it.

 

8. Self-esteem snag

Having a lack of belief in yourself keeps you stuck in a place of personal turmoil. It includes self-doubt, self-sabotage, anxiety and depression. Sometimes professional assistance is needed. Please do that. We make no medical claims here, okay?

Other times you need to have a meeting with yourself and a stern talking to (as my Mother liked to say).

It’s not always easy or possible to snap out of it.

Most of us are fine just the way we are, but we’ve bought into the criticism from the outside world that makes us doubt our own gifts, talents and abilities. You’ve got a thing you want to do right? We believe in you. You go and believe in you.

9. I’m afraid of failure

Who isn’t?

Fear of failing stops us from doing the very things that can move us forward. To counter fear, accept that you will fail and ask yourself: What’s the absolute worst thing that will happen if I fail? Answer that question as honestly as you can. Work through the failure in your mind. Once you’ve done that, go do that thing.

 

10. Start at the beginning

Thinking too far ahead will exhaust you.

Steve Martin, talking about students in his Comedy Masterclass, says they wanted to know things like, how to get an agent and where to get head shots taken. Martin says the first thing a new comedian should ask is: “How do I get to be good?”

Take a course. Read books. Ask people you trust. Listen to music. Go to the movies. Spend time in nature. Immerse yourself in whatever your thing is. And then begin.

 

11. Tomorrow plus someday always equals never

“I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” This is better deal than I’ll pay you “someday”. Don’t excuse away your today. Tomorrow it’s gone. And someday may never come.

 

12. It’s not an easy thing to do

Sure it’s hard. If it were a cakewalk you’d have done it by now, and so would everybody else.

Just accept the fact that nobody wins the gold medal for running the fastest marathon without first having laced up a pair of sneakers.

 

13. Old dogs can learn new tricks

The American Kennel Club says even old shelter dogs can be trained to learn new tricks. You’re never too old. It’s never too late. Make your age can work in your favor, not against you.

So what’s your excuse?

Life happens.

We can’t always choose our circumstances. We certainly don’t get to choose our beginning in life, but we sure as hell can decide how we finish.

Go after that thing you want to do. Big or small, take a chance on you. There’s no excuse great enough to keep you from trying. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

If you enjoyed this post or got something out of it, please subscribe to this blog or leave a comment if you’d like me to create more writings like this. Thanks so much. I hope you have a great day. XO

Other posts you might like:

DID YOU GET SPARKED TODAY?

PLAN TOMORROW TODAY

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio

Photo credits from UNSPLASH photographers:

  1. Photo by Lucas Alexander
  2. Photo by Q’AILA
  3. Photo by Shannon Richards
  4. Photo by Kawtar CHERKAOUI
  5. Photo by Caleb Stokes
  6. Photo by Michelle Phillips
  7. Photo by Nicola Anderson
  8. Photo by Dean Nahum
  9. Photo by Rob Schreckhise
  10. Photo by Enrico Carcasci
  11. Photo by Jakob Owens
  12. Photo by Ryan Grewell
  13. Photo by Ana Martin
  14. Post Cover Photo by Lance Anderson

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