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Everybody Has A Story

Everybody has a story/To tell the story of your life/www.befat.net/Stephanie DelTorchio/8.20.2016

Life is filled with lots of little moments that eventually add up to one life. Your life. Your story.

Our ability to sort the wheat from the chaff is difficult, given that, well, it’s our story. It’s very personal. And when we  sum up our life every bit matters — from what we’ve heard to what we’ve seen to what we’ve felt. These are the moving parts to our story.

It’s easy to pick out the good times from the bad times, but we store both in our minds. For safe keeping. Maybe to use later.

The positive stuff goes under the “good” column. If we haven’t figured out a way to “let go” or forgive or forget the bad stuff, we stockpile this to perhaps use later as ammunition or revenge or excuses.

All wrapped together, the good and bad experiences become our story. Years of data — wounds, failures, hurts, surprises, awards, broken promises, wins and losses, etc. —  support the story we tell.

So, if you believe that your life’s story is generally a happy one, you won’t notice or dwell too long on the times that are a bit sour. But if your narrative is one of sadness and disappointment, every time you hear bad news or get stood up for date, just confirms your story. You’ll gloss over the happy times and remind yourself (again) of all the times your life sucked.

And you get to tell your story. Good or bad. Over and over.

Denying your story doesn’t make it go away. Insisting your story is THE story doesn’t make it the truth, either.

Here’s an easy test:

If you were raised in a home with at least one sibling chances are good you’ve shared some moment in family history. A trip to the zoo. A family reunion. Anything. Dollars to donuts you and your sibling have two versions of the same event. And you both insist your story is the truth.

Let’s say you went to a family reunion when you were eight years old. It’s possible that you remember the event as positive, while your sibling had a rotten time. Cousin Leo teased her and tugged her ponytail. As an adult she recalls “every reunion” as unhappy. But you met long lost cousins and when Uncle Joe put extra sprinkles on your ice-cream because you’d just had a birthday, you felt loved and special. Reunions to you represented fun and happiness. Same event. Two different experiences. Two narratives. Both valid stories.

Whatever your story, it is uniquely yours.

It’s not wrong because it doesn’t agree with someone else’s story. Rather there is importance to your story.

All those moments of growing up have shaped who you are as an adult. The way you approach problems. Situations. People. Why your sister still “hates” sprinkles on ice-cream and you ask for extra.

Go figure, right?

Over time your story changes with each new perspective based on experience. You have the ability to alter it at every turning point.

Some parts of your story may never change. You’ll go to your grave with a story that youthful summers were full of sprinkles! Or, maybe you’ve cut poor Cousin Leo some slack because your experience tells you that ten year old boys pull pigtails because they like girls.

Other stories get cut out because they no longer support the spine of your narrative. It’s dead weight, fat that can be trimmed which does no harm to the overall integrity of your story.

Letting go or forgetting or moving past some of your story may be a good thing, or not.  The same is true for keeping some of your story if it holds you back from enjoying life. You decide.

Point is: You alone get to separate the wheat from the chaff. It’s your story.


Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

8.18.2016 CLICK HERE button-1








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