5 False Expectations That Will Ruin Your Day - Stephanie DelTorchio google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

5 False Expectations That Will Ruin Your Day

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You want to believe in people, right? That what they say to you is the truth. And promises made will be honored. But when the bond of expectation proves false — for example: I promise to always put the seat down — who can you rely on? Well, you of course. Or a foot powered seat closer. Trust me, it’s a thing.*

See we have these lofty expectations about people. The right guy or gal. The co-worker or supervisor. The kid who takes your order over the phone. The government. Hell, everybody is capable of feeding you a line. And you, Mr. and Miss Gullible, believe it all — hook, line and sinker.

And why not?

Your mamma taught you tell the truth, so help you God.

Politicians swear to defend the Constitution of the United States, “so help me God”. Witnesses swear to “tell the truth, the whole truth, so help me God”. Men swear to put the seat down, so help me God, THEY DO NOT.

Do you see a pattern here?

So when did someone’s word become crap?

Here are 5 false expectations, that should you choose to believe, will ruin your beautiful day:

YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED

You reach out to a friend who’s “busy” right now:

“I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” Which means whenever I feel like talking to you.

The toilet is leaking through the second floor and you’re near one-hundred percent certain the neighbor’s kid stuffed the cat in it head-first. You call for service:

“We’re busy snaking somebody else’s crapper. Leave and a message and someone will return your call as soon as possible.” Probably a year from next June so you might want to start working the yellow pages, beginning with the A’s.

That thing on your leg that started out as a pimple is now the size of a grapefruit. It’s throbbing and oozing lemon curd. And because you have “affordable health care” you need a referral:

“Your call is important to us. Please leave your name, date of birth…(audible background laughter) and we’ll return your call at our earliest convenience.” As soon as we take care of people WAY more important than you. With good insurance.

The TRUTH: No one is ever going to call you back. Ever. If you’re persistent, making a barrage of phone call attempts to get someone on the line, the person always says the same thing: “I was just going to call you.” Just hope it’s before your leg falls off on its own.

TILL DEATH DO US PART

Ah, the courtship. The engagement. The DRESS. The beautiful May, June, July day…Perfection times ten.

And then as if no one was paying attention, one thread in the relationship hits a snag and begins to fray. Little by little, the happily ever after begins to unravel until nothing is left but a heap of broken “I Do” promises.

You can’t begin to fathom any of this while you recite carefully worded vows spoken through tears of joy and bliss.

One day you’re feeding each other a $9 slice of raspberry-filled chiffon cake to the delight of family and friends. And then, the only “love” left is the kind where you’d LOVE to shove the entire thing — including those custom Bobblehead figurines of you two playing golf — up that no good, lying, lazy, creepster’s…you know what.

The TRUTH: If you get a good guy or gal, count your blessings. Feed each other cake. Often.

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LIFE IS FAIR

Wake up! Life IS NEVER FAIR. Buttercups and roses don’t bloom all the time without making it through some shit first.

Bad people get away with things.

Good people suffer.

That’s real life.

It sure seems like being a nice person — abiding by the law, recycling, paying your taxes, volunteering, minding your own business, giving your seat to a pregnant woman, putting the friggin’ seat down! — these acts of kindness and consideration should gift you back.

Seems fair.

The TRUTH: Life is hard and complicated and twisted and oftentimes very unfair. Deal with it. And pick up after your dog because it’s only fair to the people who walk barefoot in places with clearly marked “Shoes Required” signs.

EVERYBODY LIKES ME

No they don’t. Statistically, ten percent of the population WHO HAVE NEVER MET YOU will not like you. No matter how much you paid for your whitened smile or that you’re the perennial blue ribbon apple pie winner at the Ye Olde McIntosh County Fair.

The sight of you, the sound of your voice, the color of your skin, the side of the tracks you hail from…pick one, any one. For some reason, and for other reasons that have no clear or rational or human-to-human logical explanation, you have zero chance of getting invited to their afternoon tea party.

The TRUTH: Ninety percent of the people who meet you will think you’re pretty okay. And most of them haven’t met you yet.

YOUR STUFF IS RETURNED UNBROKEN

You’re a good person. You’re generous and kind. Material things don’t define you. When in need, you offer whatever you have, without question to anyone who asks. Your expectation, and it’s a fair one, is that your stuff be returned in the condition you lent it. And in the same decade.

Here’s how people justify borrowing your stuff:

a. “Buying a power washer is expensive, and besides, I only need it for a day to wash my deck.” The same deck they washed LAST year and the year before that, and when their brother-in-law also needed his deck washed. For the bridal shower, of course.

b. You’ve borrowed stuff from THEM too. They have long memories about the time you “borrowed” their ice skates WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT YEARS OLD.

c. Why should they rent a U-Haul for the weekend? You’ve got a perfectly good pick-up truck to move their daughter to college, 300 miles away.

and then…

your goods are returned broken or damaged or dirty or missing parts or without the box, or never at all.

The TRUTH: Stop lending out your stuff to people who have a habit of taking advantage. Exception: You offer your yacht and Caribbean condo in the middle of February in exchange for a perfectly matched kidney you’ll desperately need to “borrow”.

Having belief in our fellow humans is the way we bring up our children. It’s the right thing to do. In reality, and you get this after being around the county fair circuit a while, you do so at potentially great personal disappointment.

Your false expectations of people might surely ruin your day, if you let them. To discuss further, give me a call. I’ll be sure to return it as soon as possible. So help me God.

BE F♥CKING AWESOME TODAY! (#BeFAT)

Original graphic and quote: Stephanie DelTorchio

Other posts you might like:

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?

3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM (THE LAST ONE IS THE BOMB)

*The Flipper (not an affiliation or other endorsement)

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