3 Ways To Deal With Criticism (The Last One Is The Bomb) | Be F-ing Awesome Today google4228e52aa5dfebc8.html

3 Ways To Deal With Criticism (The Last One Is The Bomb)

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

You’ve been on the receiving end of a critical attack, how many times?

You know what I mean.

Those unwarranted, unwelcome, perhaps unprovoked sharp little darts that sting like hell. You suffer silently, or worse, the attack plays out on social media. You scream inwardly or from the rooftops or volley back online in a virtual pissing contest. “It’s not true!” “It’s not fair!” “You suck!”

It doesn’t matter if you’re famous, infamous or neither. Sooner or later everyone ends up on the losing end of a smear campaign. Your face might not grace The National Enquirer cover (thank God for small favors) but in your immediate world, private or public exposure hurts just the same.

The problem is that you don’t have a high-priced P.R. team to launch a counter-attack. No press conferences in your defense to set the record straight.

Nope. You must go this alone.

Evaluate the criticism (for what it’s worth)

It takes a certain mindset to live and work among the barbs and jabs of criticism and come out unscathed.

When hit hard, the survival instinct of human beings is to hit back harder. Protect yourself, of course, but resist the urge to retaliate. Unless you have emergency bail money hidden under your mattress.

Once all the dust settles it’s doubtful you’ll feel vindicated anyway.

Ask yourself,

1.Is it constructive?

Be sure that you’re not being overly sensitive to criticism that is offered in the way of helpful or useful information. Consider the message and the messenger.

An adult who criticizes a child’s poor choices and then offers a solution or guidance to curb future decisions, is called a parent.

Something that IS true that you’d rather not face is a whole ‘nother animal.

2.Is it deconstructive?

Gossip is mean-spirited criticism.  There’s nothing more ugly than the swirly stew of words whose sole purpose is to hurt and cause pain.

Likewise, a boss who swears at you in front of the staff for being ten minutes late to a meeting isn’t a nice person. S/he is an asshole.


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3.Are you wrong?

Before moving on, take a look in the mirror. None of us is perfect. You can probably count a few personal flaws that need some attention. Honestly admit, if in THIS particular situation, you accept some blame.

If the criticism is meant to help you and you’ve “misinterpreted” the intention, have a conversation.

It’s not about you

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes: “Do not take anything personally.” It’s NEVER about you when someone challenges your character. It’s about the person attacking you. Their anger and insecurities and fears are projected on you.

For whatever reason they’ve gotten a hair across their ass and feel the need to rip you apart like it’s their job. If you’re a psychopath, okay, maybe this is an exception.

Sometimes the best response is no response. www.befat.net

Otherwise, it’s best to understand that,

People are basically selfish creatures

The sole purpose of a human existence is survival. People want food and drink, a place to rest their head at night, and sex. That’s it.

Most approach life with a “what’s in it for me” attitude. Unless you can offer them something to eat, shelter, a roll in the hay, or in desperation, a functioning kidney, they will move on to another target.

If you don’t provide for their needs in the manner desired, you are a ripe target because they don’t understand you. They fear you. They’re jealous of you (or your stuff). There’s something about YOU that irks THEM.

Anger wastes A LOT of time

You can spend days, months or years being angry at the people who have criticized you. Here’s the thing: Burning energy on anger wastes precious life moments. Question: How much time could you reclaim if you gave up anger? Answer: A LOT.

You’re not a victim unless you chose to be

Although it sure as hell feels that way when you’re criticized for your beliefs, preferences and the stand you take. You only become a victim when you allow it. Don’t play the victim, unless it’s a cool character on TV, like Walter White, and you’re being paid really well.

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

You can’t ever win the game

Listen, there was a time when I wanted everybody to like me. Imagine my shock that not every did (does). The old adage that you can’t please everyone is true. Statistically, 10% of population will NOT LIKE YOU, no matter how sweet and lovely you are. Get over it. I’ll take 90% of something any day.

You’re dead to me

That person who criticizes you needs to be stricken from your mind. Allowing others to use your head as their personal dumping ground will only fester and stink. Try this: Envision a newspaper obituary printed with your offender’s face. Wrap the day’s garbage in it and then mentally throw it all in the trash where it belongs.

How to handle criticism

Especially the heinous kind; the hurtful or spiteful words that taint your character and cut at your core. Worse, still, by people WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU.  People who’ve “heard things” and made assumptions based on random “facts” and innuendo.

Get it out

Whatever your personal preference with dealing with pent up emotion, use it. Runners (claim) to release stress and anger at every mile. Musicians use their voices and instruments. Artists paint or throw clay or weave or carve. Gardeners find therapy in pulling weeds and turning soil. Whatever activity brings you a sense of calm and releases stress, DO THAT. Punch the daylights out of a dirty rug with a stick…Just throwing that one out there.

Look for the silver lining

Criticism is also an opportunity to choose peace over conflict. Ask yourself: “Do I want to be right or do I want peace?” You can’t always have both. Tattoo “peace over righteousness” on your forehead if you must.

3 best ways to handle any criticism

It’s hard to turn the other way when you’re being criticized.

The good news is that the older you get the easier it becomes. You’ve matured (hopefully) to where you know that you are not defined by what other people think of you and stop giving these people a foot in the door. It’s counterproductive to your having an awesome life. Plus, you get that every day, time on the other end is shorter and YOU JUST DON’T CARE.

Listen you guys, none of us is perfect. We make mistakes. We screw up. But we don’t deserve to be treated ignorantly or unfairly.

Trust me on this one, they aren’t spending time thinking about you. So don’t give your power away, okay?

Here are the THREE BEST WAYS to deal with negative or hurtful criticism:

1. Take a deep breath. Don’t give a shit.

2. Walk away. Don’t give a shit

…and finally the BOMB

3. Really don’t give a shit. Forget them.

Try hard not to spend one more second of your life letting the criticism of others consume you. It’s not worth the toll it takes on you. And they are not worth your time.

Take care of you first. Food, shelter and sex. Lots and lots of food. And sex.


Other posts you might like:

12 Things I Don’t Give A Shit About Anymore

Astonish A Mean World

Original graphic: Stephanie DelTorchio


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